


Learning How To Fall Properly

by FivePips



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Anxiety, Asexual!Peter, Break Up, Child Abuse, Coming Out, Demisexual!Sirius, Depression, Friends to Lovers, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Make Up, Mutual Pining, Olympics, Poc!James, Racism, Recreational Drug Use, Skateboarder!Sirius, Snowboarder!Sirius, Swedish!Remus, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, X Games, dumb teenagers, dumb twenty-somethings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-06 18:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 60,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5426654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin meets 2/3 of the Marauders while getting harassed by a few homophobes.  He meets the third at the skatepark and soon falls into this group of friends, who are so much more than just the delinquents the residents of their town think they are. This story goes out and beyond their teen years, following accomplishments and heartbreaks and maybe a gold medal or two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, here is the Skater AU that is inspired by this post [here](http://emeliadoyle.tumblr.com/post/134842612993/pocketpadfoot-aflowercrownforaqueen-no-but). But it’s a lot more than delinquent skaters somehow. It turned into our merry band of Marauders and skater/snowboarder Sirius who wants to win a gold medal.
> 
> So Brackenwoods is a fictional town. From all I can see there’s a golf course in the UK with the same name and a hotel but that’s it.
> 
> This starts in 2004 and will go up through 2014. It will probably be a chapter or two per year, maybe more. I have a vague outline but it’s mainly plot points I want to hit but as soon as I work it out I’ll put that up.
> 
> The Title comes from a quote I stumbled on while looking up some things on skateboarding: “Skateboarding teaches you how to take a fall properly. If you try to kickflip down some stairs, it might take you thirty tries - and you just learn how to take a tumble out of it without getting hurt.” — Bam Margera

The day Remus Lupin met the Marauders, was a day he did not need help. Okay? He didn’t need any help, he could handle the three homophobic assholes all by himself. But that wasn’t to say, it wasn’t nice to meet them...  
  
“Oi, faggot.” Some dumb lump of human shouted at Remus as he came out of a Lush type store on High Street. They had a lot of nice lotions and soaps.  
  
“Buying faggity soaps?” Another one squinted at him but he was taller and skinnier with a lot of pimples on his pale face.  
  
“I think you need a thesaurus and a dictionary. They sell them in combination I believe.” Remus reached for his pack to throw the bag in.  
  
Remus had moved from just outside of Göteborg, Sweden to Brackenwoods, England not long ago. It was a nice little suburb about twenty minutes from Manchester’s City center. He probably would have liked it but seeing as the move was forced, he loathed being there. He had been spending July to now nearly September locked in the large bedroom of his Aunt Josefina’s home (or mansion as he thought it).  
  
His parents had passed away in a car accident on the way into the city. They were on their way to the design museum because he mum was looking for some inspiration for her next job (she was an interior designer). Remus was in the backseat and somehow only managed to escape the whole thing with a concussion, broken ribs, a few lacerations from the broken glass that caused some scaring on his face and arms, and sprained wrist. Since he had no more living family in Sweden, he had the option of going with his Aunt. He decided to forgo the system and make a new home with his Aunt Josefina. Again, he would have liked it if it wasn’t such a shitty situation. He loved his aunt but not the reason for his new living situation.  
  
Josefina Lupin-O’Connell was a loud, vivacious woman who moved from Sweden to the UK after falling for a British man who was studying at her uni for a semester. Nick O’Connell came from a very rich family, which Josefina didn’t know until she had visited him for a summer. But she didn’t marry him for his money, it was a nice bonus. Sadly, Nick passed away less than two years before Remus moved in. So now she was given the task to raise the fourteen year old boy and helping him through his emotional pain as well as dealing with her own. At least they had each other, she found some comfort in that.  
  
Oh, right, the homophobic bullies were the pressing matter here… “Well, only girls and faggots go into Claudette’s.” The last dumb homophobe with billowy blond hair said, stepping closer into Remus’ personal space.  
  
“Though I do prefer guys, do you ever think a man could enjoy what Claudette offers without breaking his fragile masculinity?” Remus raised an eyebrow. He knew he was only egging them on.  
  
The three morons looked at him, very confused. They weren’t thinking that he would stick up for himself. It was possible that Remus would have never been so brash before the accident and loss of his parents but there was a little reckless streak he had developed as of late. That was when he wasn’t sitting around and being absolutely depressed.  
  
“Oi! Crabbe! Malfoy! Rosier! Hello, old chaps, how goes the day? Are we making new friends? Care to introduce us?”  
  
Remus turned to look to see a tall boy with dark tan skin and dark, messy hair, and glasses walking towards him. He was wearing Vans, ripped up jeans and a Ramones tee-shirt along with carrying a skateboard. Next to him was a boy, who was a bit shorter and chubbier. He was pale and blond with blue eyes. He was dressed in the same fashion as the other boy but his shirt was plain and grey.  
  
Remus thought, great, two more people to fight.  
  
“Bugger off Potter.”  
  
“You know, Pete, don’t you think it’s a tad bit funny people think we’re the hooligan delinquents but these blokes harass others for fun? Then again they’re lovely because Malfoy’s daddy’s an MP and everyone else around him has old money coming out of their nostrils?”  
  
“Maybe if you dressed and acted as your family should expect then you’d get away with more.”  
  
“We don’t beat people up for fun. Leave the bloke alone.” The shorter boy said.  
  
“I could handle this myself.” Remus muttered, he knew this was only going to cause him problems at school. He didn’t need that when he was going to be all alone.  
  
“He’s a faggot, even said he was!”  
  
“Tell me, did he take any one of you down a dark alley and tried to shove his tongue and/or cock into your mouth? No, don’t think so. He’s a short and scrawny thing.”  
  
“Faggots.” The large, lumpy one said.  
  
“They really need a thesaurus.” Remus adjusted his pack on his shoulders then decked the boy.  
  
“Bastard!” He shouted before going after Remus but Remus kicked him in the balls and he fell over with a shriek.  
  
“Let’s get the hell out of here.” The blond one sneered at Remus before he and they picked up the boy on the ground. “You’re going to regret this.” He said like some evil villain as they walked away.  
  
“They’re a bunch of knackers. Stay away!” The Indian boy nodded. “Shite, you’re either barmy or bloody brave.”  
  
Remus flexed his hand a few times to make sure it was okay. “I believe there’s some saying about how that line is thin.” He knew he _was_ probably going to regret that one day but he wasn’t going to stand there and take the abuse. His father taught him better than that.  
  
“Are you new here?” The blond boy asked. “Or just visiting?”  
  
“Ah, I just moved to town towards the start of summer.” Remus looked down to his feet. He really didn’t feel like telling why he moved here.  
  
“You’re what? Swedish? You’re not related to Josefina O’Connell, are you?”  
  
“She’s my aunt, actually. That’s where I’m living.”  
  
“Brill! Mum and Dad love her, we live like two houses away from you. She’s a right laugh. I’m James Potter by the way. Yeah, I know I don’t look like a James Potter. I get that all the time. Bit racist if you say it by the way.”  
  
“Um, I’m Remus Lupin. I wasn’t even thinking it.”  
  
“I’m Peter Pettigrew.” The other boy said. “How old are you? You look about our age.”  
  
“Fourteen.”  
  
“Us too! Are you going into Year Ten? Where you going to school?”  
  
“Calm down, Petey.” James laughed.  
  
“Ah, yes I’m going into Year Ten and I’ll be attending Hogwarts. But I guess they refer to Year Ten as Fourth Year.” The whole thing was really confusing to Remus but he just went a long with it because it was supposed to be the best private school in England… er Public School, Independent School. Whatever, he was just happy to be getting such a great education.  
  
“Ace! We are too.” James clapped him on the back. “What are you up to?”  
  
“Ah, I was about to head home.”  
  
“Want to come with us to the skatepark? You can meet our other mate.”  
  
“I think Josefina was expecting me…” Remus frowned. He was torn because as much as he wanted new friends, he always felt so awkward in social situations.  
  
“Oh, call her. Do you have a mobile phone? You can use mine if you don’t.” James said, fishing out his brick of a Nokia.  
  
“No, she gave me one… ah, I guess I could send her a text message.” Remus took his pack off to find his phone.  
  
“Do you skateboard? Do they do that in Sweden or do you only ice skate and snowboard?”  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow at Peter’s question.  
  
“That’s such a dumb assumption.” James hit him upside the head as Remus clicked out a quick message to his Aunt.  
  
“I’ve never skated or snowboarded or skateboarded in my life. I’m not very, er, sporty.” He answered as he tucked his phone back away and shouldered his bag.  
  
“Swot then.”  
  
“A what?” Remus had learned English his whole life alongside Swedish but he was still discovering slang.  
  
“Nerd, geek, very studious human being.” James elaborated.  
  
“Ha, um, I guess. I have good marks and I’ve always been told about how my nose is normally in books.”  
  
“Lovely. We could use a brain in our group.”  
  
Remus felt his eyebrows shoot up to his hair line, well under his curly tawny hair that was falling over his forehead.  
  
“We’re a ragtag group of pranksters, you see.” James threw his free arm, which was not holding his skateboard, around Remus.  
  
Remus tensed a little at the touch. “So you’re the delinquents those assholes said you were?”  
  
“Small time stuff, mate. It’s not like we’d do anything to send us to jail—that long, anyway— and we only go after those who deserve it. Those being the dolts you just met.” James said as they turned down a road. At the end he could see a field to the right of it, a skatepark, where one person was standing.  
  
“I’m sure Josefina will love that I’m hanging out with you.” He deadpanned.  
  
“Oh, please, she loves my parents so she’ll love that you’re our mate.”  
  
Remus wasn’t sure what to say because he didn’t know how he acquired friends in the way that he just did. He didn’t even know that they could be considered friends. It was an interesting start needless to say.  
  
“I guess as long as I don’t end up in jail.”  
  
“If anyone ends up in jail, it’ll be Padfoot.”  
  
“Padfoot?”  
  
“Oi, with the nicknames Peter!” James flailed. “They’re secret. As much as we like Remus here, he’s not an official Marauder yet.”  
  
“What?” Great, Remus thought, he was about to get inducted into some street gang.  
  
“It’s our little group’s name. It’s just three of us. Don’t worry, mate.” James slapped his shoulder. “It’s me, Pete, and Sirius. We all have nicknames. I am Prongs because I stabbed Snivellus — who you’ll meet and who knocks around with those gits you met— well, I stabbed him with a fork because he was giving Sirius a hard time. Then Petey here is Wormtail because he used to have this horrible little ponytail when we were eleven. Then there’s Padfoot, because he enjoys sneaking up on people and he can also be very much like a dog.”  
  
“Right.” Remus nodded as they crossed the road. He wasn’t sure how his day had come to this. He had ventured out alone for the first time since moving to Brackenwoods. Then he got harassed on the street, punched someone, and now was apart of a little street gang. Or they wanted him to be. But they were apparently mates? The whole situation there was really odd.  
  
“Prongs!” The boy that had been standing in front of the skate park, launched himself at James and tackled him to the ground with a hug.  
  
“Sirius, I thought our nicknames were secret. What is it with you and Peter revealing everything to a kid we barely know?”  
  
Sirius stood up and looked at Remus, like he had just realized he was there.  
  
Remus felt his mouth go dry when he got his first good look at Sirius because Jesus Christ, he was the best looking boy he’d ever met. It should have been criminal to look like a male model at fourteen but yet, here he was with his high cheekbones and aristocratic nose and shaggy black hair and piercing grey eyes. He was beautiful. Puberty was far too kind to him.  
  
“This, mate, is Remus. He’s Swedish, just moved in with good old Josie, and he punched Crabbe in the face for calling him a faggot then kicked him in the bollocks. Also, he’s in our year and going to Hogwarts.”  
  
Sirius gave him an appraising look. “So you dragged him here?”  
  
“Mate, he’s one of us.” James said and waved his arms about.  
  
“Right, let’s get to business. Wormy, did you bring the camera?” Sirius turned to Peter. Clearly, less interested in Remus than the other two.  
  
Remus felt very out of place and sort of sad that he was being ignored by this person. But Sirius probably didn’t like some random kid coming into his friend group. Remus could hardly blame him.  
  
“Yeah.” Peter gestured to the bag the was on his shoulder.  
  
“Good, I want to start filming. I want to see how I look. Obviously, wonderful but I just want to make sure.”  
  
By filming, Remus found out, Sirius meant he and James would do these crazy stunts and Pete would film them. Then they’d rewatch them and Sirius would complain about how shitty he was at said stunt. Remus, even though he didn’t know one thing about skateboarding, thought both James and Sirius’ tricks looked just fine. They asked Remus for opinions but he didn’t know what to say. James said he’d teach him all the terms so he would know what was happening.  
  
After a while the other boys were all sweaty and declared it was time to go to James’ house. Remus made excuses, he figured he let the friends have some time to themselves. He was starting to feel like a bit of a hanger on. The main problem with Remus making friends was that he didn’t really know how to do so. He spent more time studying and reading his whole life, than he did trying to make friends. He only had three friends, Frank, Dorcas and Alice, and they sort of forced themselves on him. Remus would have been happy being that weird loner kid but he figured it was nice to have friends. It really was. They were there for them after the accident and along with their parents, they took care of him in the hospital until Josefina got there.  
  
“Hej Hej!” Josefina greeted him as he walked through the kitchen. She was sitting at the breakfast bar with folders in front of her. She was running Nick’s charity organization now that he was gone, along with running her own popular event planning company. Remus was never sure what she was working on but she always looked busy.  
  
Remus smiled at her and went to the refrigerator.  
  
“You met some friends?” She asked in Swedish.  
  
“Yes. James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black.” He replied in his Mother Tongue.  
  
Josefina tilted her heard to the side, probably thinking about the boys. “Oh! They’re nice ones. They can be a bit rambunctious but nice boys. I like the Potters and the Pettigrews are okay.”  
  
“And the Blacks?” He raised an eyebrow after pouring himself a glass of orange juice.  
  
She scoffed as she tied her blonde hair up in a top knot. “They’re terrible people but Sirius and his brother are nice boys. Sirius has been in trouble here and there but he’s just acting out against his parents. I don’t think I would like you going around to the Blacks, though.”  
  
Remus nodded, this was the first real rule of any sort that Josefina had given him.  
  
“But I’m glad you made friends, darling. Are you feeling okay today?”  
  
He leaned back against the counter and shrugged. Remus wan'ts sure how to describe how he was feeling but he guessed that Josefina knew. She had lost Nick and her brother and sister-in-law, who she had a very good relationship with, all fairly recently. Remus was her last connection to any family at all and she was Remus’.  
  
“Would you like to go to therapy or a support group? I hate to ask but I know what it all feels like and I only suspect that it’s worse for you since you’re just a child.”  
  
Remus felt a lump in his throat. “I’m fine.”  
  
“Okay, if you want to talk about it anymore then please don’t hesitate.” She gave him a soft smile.  
  
“I’m going up to read.” He gave her a wave before heading upstairs.  
  
Remus heard Josefina muttering something about being a typical teenager as he left the room. He hated talking about his feelings. It probably wasn’t the best thing but he felt so talked out about it all. The whole month before coming to England was spent talking to his friends and Josefina and a therapist at the hospital about grieving and how to handle it all. Everyone always wanted to talk about how he was feeling but he wasn’t feeling much. He felt a bit numb now.  
  
It had been since the end of May and he still wanted his mum to talk to him about art over breakfast and his dad come home after school with a story about one of his students from the university. He missed the comfort of home and their little house. As much as Josefina tried, her large house wasn’t home. He was a stranger. Alone and depressed. He had to get used to it though because he knew his parents would want him to be happy and enjoy life. Hopefully, one day he could.  
  
Maybe it was good for him to become friends with these so called “Marauders”.

***

Sirius sprawled across the grass under the willow in the Potter’s garden. “Do you think we lose a bit of street cred because we come back to Prongs’ estate and drink lemonade made by his mum?” He pondered after taking a sip of the tart, sweet drink.  
  
“Mate, you being the son of a Lord, loses you street cred.” James snickered. “So, what do we think of Remus Lupin?”  
  
“He’s somewhat of a bore, huh?” Sirius said, making a face. It’s not that Remus was a bad person and whatnot but he didn’t seem like much fun.  
  
“Mate, he punched bloody Crabbe like it was nothing. He’s tough and smart. Need more blokes around like that, in my humble opinion.”  
  
“He doesn’t skateboard.” Sirius complained.  
  
“He looked interested in watching us. Plus, I’m shite at skateboarding.” Peter pointed out. “Also, we can have friends who do not skateboard. It is possible.”  
  
Sirius wouldn’t want to admit it but the reason he didn’t want Remus to come in was because he didn’t want his best mates' attention taken away. James and Peter would not shut up about this new boy. He couldn’t understand why he was so interesting. Okay, yeah, he chinned Crabbe, who wouldn’t want to? And yeah, he was nice and all and smart… Sirius just didn’t want to let another person into their little group. He was comfortable as it was and didn’t need to be opening his life up to someone else.  
  
“He’s queer, it will add another dynamic to the group.” James said and shrugged.  
  
“So, that’s like a… thing? We’re trying to meet some quotas or something? I’m not friends with you just because your mum is from India and you’re not friends with me because I’m the son of a Lord and we’re not friends with Pete because he’s like a quarter Spanish or whatever.” Sirius scrunched up his face.  
  
“Okay, no, but I just realized that it wasn’t mentioned that he really is gay and I wanted to say it without sounding like a tosser. Not that is should matter. Should I have let Remus tell you? Shite, I’m a horrible person.”  
  
“I don’t give shite either way and if he tells me I won’t say you told me.” Sirius waved his hand. “By the way, you made yourself sound like even more of a tosser the way you did it anyway.”  
  
“Fuck off.” James elbowed him hard in the side. “Look, can we invite him to fish and chips tomorrow afternoon? I think he needs some mates. He’s just moved here with his aunt. I wonder what happened to his parents.”  
  
“I wish I could move away from my parents.” Sirius started to pluck at blades of grass.  
  
“Grass is always greener, mate.” He hit Sirius’ hand so he’d stop ruining his parent’s lawn. “I mean, your parents are terrible but maybe his is just as bad or maybe they’re mass murders.”  
  
“Mmm, unless they actually murdered his sibling then I doubt they can be much worse than my own.”  
  
“So, is it okay if I invite him out with us tomorrow, or what?” James asked as he reached for his phone.  
  
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Sirius grumbled. “He seemed eager to get home. I bet he won’t even come out.”  
  
To his surprise, Remus Lupin was waiting for them in front of the chip shop. He was wearing jeans that were a bit tight and a baggy, tie-dye tee shirt that swam on his skinny body. Peter said he didn’t look Swedish, which was stupid just because his hair wasn’t pure blond. No, Remus had a very Scandic look with his light brown curly hair, high cheek bones, and bright hazel eyes. Sirius didn’t have much doubt he’d grow tall too because his limbs looked a bit long and awkward on him.  
  
“Ah! Lupin! Glad you could make it!” James greeted him jovially with a strong tap on the shoulder.  
  
“I have nothing going on and my aunt has been begging me to make friends the last few weeks.” Remus itched his nose and looked into the shop.  
  
“You mustn’t have told her you were going to be with us.” Sirius folded his arms and stood tall.  
  
“No, I did.”  
  
“And she doesn’t care we’re trouble makers?”  
  
Remus just shrugged.  
  
“Anyway, shall we?” James ushered them all in and promptly ordered for them as the rest of the boys took a seat. Peter sat next to Remus and Sirius sat in the chair opposite Peter. He still wasn’t ready to let this bloke into their group.  
  
“So, Remus, what brings you to Brackenwoods? I don’t think you said, mate.” Peter asked after James slid into his seat.  
  
Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat and ran a hand through his hair. “Ah, my mum is sick and taking care of me but she couldn’t anymore so she sent me to Josefina.”  
  
Sirius looked to his friends but they were busy giving Remus a sympathetic look. How did they not hear that was the biggest load of bull? This bloke was clearly hiding something. Maybe it had to do with the scars on his face and arms. Maybe his parents were murderers? Or maybe he was a murderer? Sirius’ mind started running with some ridiculous theories. The most ridiculous was that Remus was a werewolf and killed his parents.  
  
“Sorry, mate, must be tough.” Pete said sympathetically.  
  
“Yeah.” Remus twirled one of his curls with his index finger. He fidgeted a bit.  
  
Sirius held his tongue because he didn’t want to listen to James yell at him for being insensitive later.  
  
“Let’s talk about better things then.” James suggested. “Like, where did you learn to punch like that?”  
  
Remus grinned wolfishly, “My dad was a boxer. Not professional but he taught be a few things before he…” Remus lost his smile.  
  
“Amazing.” James said, shaking his head with his normal dopey grin.  
  
They went on to talk about Hogwarts. James and Peter gave Remus a rundown about who to avoid at school and the people who aren’t bad. As well as a description of every teacher they were likely to have in their coming year. They also laid out some plans for up coming pranks. To Sirius’ surprise, Remus offered a few tips on making them better.  
  
“…that way, they wouldn’t know it was you.” Remus finished explaining as they arrived at the skatepark.  
  
“You’re bloody brilliant, mate. We’re going to keep you around!” James exclaimed.  
  
Remus flushed a little at the attention as they all ran up the highest ramp. Remus plonked himself down, dropping his pink backpack down next to him. Peter looked like he wanted to join him but decided against him and just ran back down the ramp to go practice ollies on some flat and stable land. James dropped in as Remus reached into his pack and fished out a pack of cigarettes.  
  
Sirius’ eyes were wide. “You’re rather surprising, Lupin. Can I get one of those?”  
  
Remus nodded after lighting his cigarette and taking a long drag.  
  
Sirius sat next to him, thinking, possibly he might not mind being friends with Remus Lupin. The bloke offered advice on pranks, laughed at their jokes, and apparently wasn’t as sweet as he appeared. He was still hiding something but he hoped that it wasn’t anything terrible.  
  
“So, why am I surprising?” Remus asked after flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette.  
  
“Ah, I don’t know, you seemed like a bit of a goody two shoes yesterday.”  
  
“Making assumptions of people isn’t very good.” He sniffed, not looking at Sirius.  
  
“I know, Prongs said that yesterday.”  
  
“Ugh! Look, Remus indulges in Paddy’s filthy habit.” James complained loudly to Peter.  
  
Sirius made a series of rude gestures before turning back to Remus. “So, I’m sorry and… yeah… I won’t make assumptions anymore.” Not out loud anyway, he thought because he was still playing with that werewolf theory in his head. It was ridiculous but he had a great imagination.  
  
“I guess I can forgive you.” Remus smiled around his cigarette.  
  
“Remus, this could be the beginning of a beautiful thing.”  
  
“I think that quote’s a little wrong.”  
  
“I wasn’t going to assume that it’s a beautiful friendship.” Sirius laughed and Remus pushed his shoulder, making him slip down the ramp while laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the first few months of school, Remus makes a few more friends, the Marauders pull a prank (mostly Remus), James wants to know if he’s attractive, The Blacks are racist and abusive, and Sirius ends up at Remus’ in search for some salvation.

Remus liked Hogwarts. It was old and full of character. Hell, it was a big castle for Christ sake. The teachers (or Professors, as they were referred to) were all very knowledgeable. They loved assigning reading and essays, though, but Remus didn’t have much of a complaint there. He spent his free period in the library, along with lunch at times, because it was so beautiful. There were so many books that Remus doubted he’d ever be able to read half of them. He wouldn’t mind giving it a try. His new friends did make fun of him a little for it but it was all in good fun.  
  
For the most part, the first few weeks at Hogwarts were uneventful. There were no run-ins with Crabbe, Malfoy, or Rosier. Or that Snivellus person James, Peter, and Sirius were always going on about. There were a few sneers from that group’s table thrown his way every so often. But they didn’t bother him. Remus only hoped that they weren’t planning their revenged in a best served cold sort of way. At least if they did bother him, he had back up. Not that he needed back up because he was completely capable taking care of himself.  
  
After school he fell into a routine with the Marauders. Most days they would all go home, change, and meet over at the skatepark. While the others spent the time on their skateboards, Remus would sit up on top of the highest halfpipe and do his homework. Every so often Peter would join him to study for history or lend his help to Remus with Chemistry. Sirius would stop what he was doing to sit and smoke with him after Remus had finished his work.  
  
Sometimes they would go to James’ house and play on the trampoline and eat all the pastries that Mrs Potter baked. She owned the bakery on the High Street and experimented with new recipes at home that mixed Indian flavors with French. When Remus said they’d play on the trampoline, he means that he’d sit and eat desserts with Peter and James and Sirius would take turns doing tricks with Sirius’ snowboard. Sirius said that he was going to win a gold medal one day for boarding and apparently spent a lot of his free time trying to better himself in anyway he could.  
  
James, Sirius, and Peter were phenomenal friends. They were all extremely loyal. James was caring and funny. Peter was a riot. Sirius was a laugh. He had told Alice and Dorcas about them and they told him they were jealous. The only issue about being friends with them was that he had developed a crush on Sirius. Obviously, right off the bat he knew the boy was attractive but as the weeks went on they were growing closer. Remus almost hated it a bit because he was most likely straight and Remus also didn’t want to ruin their friendship for kissing Sirius like he wanted to.  
  
Outside of the Marauders, Remus met a few more people. A group of girls who came around the skatepark every so often. Only two of them boarded while the other two would join Remus sitting on the half pipe or under the tree on the edge of the park. They were Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, and Em Vance. Marlene and Em were the boarders while Mary and Lily joined Remus. He liked the girls a lot. They were all funny, smart, and sweet. He could also tell Pete fancied Mary, he tried his best impressing her every time they were around. James acted like Lily annoyed him but Remus got the funny feeling that wasn’t true.  
  
One day towards the end of October, they were sitting under the tree, watching the others when Remus noticed Lily and Mary acting oddly, like they were hiding something. “What’s wrong?” Remus asked after they finished talking about their English assignment.  
  
The corners of Lily’s lips turned down into a frown and Mary looked at her finger nails.  
  
“Can you please tell me because you’re making me a little nervous?” He played with his beanie.  
  
“Are you gay?”  
  
Remus furrowed his brows, “Yes, why? Is it a problem?” He really didn’t think the girls would have any issues with it. They all seemed accepting.  
  
“No! Not at all!” Lily ran her fingers through her wavy, auburn hair.  
  
“There’s just this thing…” Mary’s words trailed off as she shot a look over at Lily.  
  
“Thing?” Remus closed the textbook that was on his lap and set it aside. “What thing?”  
  
“A rumor.”  
  
“What rumor?”  
  
“That you were kicked out of your school in Sweden for sleeping with one of your teachers to get a better grade.”  
  
“Jävlar! What?” Remus spluttered. “That’s not even — I wouldn’t—just because I’m—where did you hear this?”  
  
“We heard it from Em who heard it from Christine who heard it from Fatina who I think heard it from Bella.”  
  
“It’s not true. I’m here because my mum is sick.” He had stuck with this lie for so long now, it was starting to feel true. Until he would remember that both of his parents were gone forever. Then that familiar sting would sit in his chest. “What one is Bella?”  
  
“Bella Black, she’s Sirius’ cousin.” Right, Sirius’ family who were all terrible according to every sane person in town. He had heard only that Sirius hated about ninety-nine precent of them. “She hangs out with Malfoy and all them, yeah?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
That wasn’t a hard guess from where the rumor started then.  
  
“Are you telling Remus lies about us again?” Sirius asked as he collapsed down next to him, reaching in to Remus’ bag for the cigarettes. “It won’t work, he likes us. He’s a Marauder, no matter how much you try to steal him away.”  
  
“No, they’re telling me lies about myself.”  
  
Sirius made a loud, frustrated noise. “What? Who’s starting rumors? What’d they say?”  
  
“That Remus got kicked out of his school back home for shagging a teacher to get a better grade.”  
  
Sirius snorted a laugh and handed Remus a cigarette. “Remus’ bloody brilliant. He doesn’t need to shag a teacher to get a good mark.” He expression faltered for a moment. “Who said this?”  
  
“Your cousin apparently.”  
  
“Cunt.” Sirius flopped on to his back, taking a long drag of his cigarette.  
  
“I didn’t even say which one.”  
  
“They’re all cunts. But which one?”  
  
“Bella.”  
  
“Princess Cunt. What are your plans for revenge?”  
  
Remus scrunched his nose as he thought. “I’m not sure.”  
  
“You should start a rumor about her.” Mary said. “Something juicy. Say she broke up with Rich because he got her pregnant but she had an abortion.”  
  
“My god, Mary MacDonald, you are evil!” Sirius craned his neck to look at her.  
  
“I’m not a fan of eye for an eye in this situation.” Remus leaned back, resting most of his weight on one hand.  
  
“That’s not the Marauder spirit!” The dark-haired boy complained and Lily let out a groan.  
  
“I mean, I’d rather go about my revenge in a more creative way. Gossip is so… tacky.” Remus grinned over his fingers at Sirius as he took a long inhale of his cigarette.  
  
“No, you’re the evil one. Sorry Mary, you’ve been surpassed in your evilness.”  
  
“Its fine.” She rolled her eyes.  
  
“What are you thinking Remus?”  
  
“Think we could get into her locker?” Remus asked.  
  
“I don’t want anything to do with this.” Lily shook her head as she packed up her thing. “I need to be home for tea anyway. See you tomorrow.”  
  
“I’ll come too, let’s say bye to Marls and Em.” Mary said, picking up her book bag.  
  
Once they were gone Remus and Sirius planned a little bit of payback on Bellatrix. It involved glitter, paper hearts, photos of Professor Slughorn, and industrial strength glue. They carried it out the following week. Sirius ended up taking the detention for it since Bella and the staff all assumed that it was him. Lucius Malfoy even said he saw Sirius, which was a blatant lie because the Marauders has broken into the school at three in the morning to carry the prank out. Remus paid Sirius back for taking the fall by doing a chunk of his homework.  
  
“You’ll owe me one day, Remus, but that was brilliant. The naughty fan fiction style stories really added the extra punch.” Sirius said as they sat in James’ TV room that day.  
  
“I told you, Remus was a brilliant addition to this group.” James said, reaching for another Maharani cupcake. Remus went for a Masla Chili cupcake this go. He had no idea how these combinations tasted so heavenly together. He was sure Euphemia had some type of magic in that kitchen to make the oddest combinations amazing.  
  
“I’m sorry for thinking you were such a swot, mate.”  
  
Remus shrugged, watching Peter flip through the channels.  
  
“So we’re going to the French Alps for the Christmas hols. I don’t know if you have anything on, Remus, but you’re more than welcome to join us. It’s the Potters and the Pettigrews and sometimes some boring, stuffy people mum and dad know.”  
  
“That’s nice of you but… I’d love too but I wouldn’t want to impose.”  
  
“There’s no imposition, darling.” Euphemia came into the room. “I’m taking the rest of the cupcakes, I don’t want you all to spoil your dinners.” She went for the plates. “But, Remus, dear, if you’re able to then you’re more than welcome to join. I was even thinking of inviting Josefina, her and Nick joined us before he passed.”  
  
Remus felt awkward. It seemed like nothing that they were inviting him on this trip even though he had only known them for such a short amount of time. “Um, thank you. I guess I’ll talk to her.”  
  
“That’s not a no!” James let out a whoop.  
  
“Bloody hell, Prongs—”  
  
“Language, Sirius Black.” Euphemia called over her shoulder as she left the boys.  
  
“Sorry!” He called out to her and waited for her to be out of earshot before he started again. “Any way, I was say, bloody hell Prongs, its like you’re in love with Remus.”  
  
“That’s sad, he’s not my type.” Remus quipped before he finished off his cupcake.  
  
“What does that mean? Am I not good looking enough?”  
  
“Do you want me to be attracted to you?” Remus lifted a curious eyebrow.  
  
“No, I just want to know if I’m not good looking enough.”  
  
“I feel like no matter what happens to come out of your mouth, mate, you’re buggered.” Pete pointed the remote at Remus.  
  
“Yeah, I’m not answering the question.” Remus shook his head.  
  
“But am I bad looking?”  
  
“Jamie, I think you’re handsome.” Sirius offered his best friend.  
  
“You’re not gay though.”  
  
“Åh Gode Gud.” Remus muttered to himself. “I’m not answering you.”  
  
“What is your type? Maybe we can find you a boyfriend.”  
  
His type was most definitely Sirius but he couldn’t very well say that to him. “Really, Wormtail? You all can’t even find yourselves girlfriends then how do you expect to find me a boyfriend?”  
  
“You don’t have one now do you?”  
  
“I did, before I left Sweden.” Remus pointed out.  
  
“Oh, are you still with him?”  
  
Remus shook his head. He had broke up with Erik before the accident and he had visited him in the hospital with Alice once or twice. But he wasn’t upset about leaving him, they were just mean to be friends if anything.  
  
“Bastard? Want us to hope a plane to beat him up?”  
  
“No, god, no.” Remus pleaded with James. “He didn’t break my heart, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  
  
“Ah, Lupin, you broke his, huh? You little heartbreaker.” Sirius knocked him in the knee.  
  
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“I’ll have you know I can get any bird I want, I’ve had a few good snogs. More than these two can say. Let’s go out back. I want to get some tramp time in.” Sirius stood up.

***

“I’ll never understand how that Potter married that mongrel. She clearly married Fleamont for his money.” Sirius’ Aunt Druella said over her wine glass.  
  
Sirius didn’t understand why he needed to have a birthday dinner with his family. He was fifteen and had already celebrated with The Marauders the weekend before.  
  
“Her family’s rich.” Sirius said through clenched teeth. “Probably richer than you and don’t talk about Euphemia that way.” He slammed his had on the table. He couldn’t deal with listening to his racist and classist family drone on about people he actually liked. “The Potters are good people.”  
  
“Sirius Orion Black.” His mother scolded. “Do not speak to your aunt that way.”  
  
“She’s being a fucking bitch.” He said under his breath. Not a moment later a hand connected with his face.  
  
“You need to get new friends, Sirius.” Narcissa, his cousin, commented, barely flinching at the slap. “They’re a bunch of low lives. All they do is cause trouble. Now you have that faggot running about with you. You know he got kicked out of his last school for having an affair with a teacher?”  
  
"That's a lie."  
  
“That Josefina only married Nicholas for his money. I wouldn’t doubt if she had him offed so she could have the cash.”  
  
“Remus, Josie, and Euphemia and everyone else are better than you all are.”  
  
This time his father pulled him up out of his seat and dragged him into the kitchen. What happened next was the usual Black Beating he received for being out of line.  
  
When it was over Sirius ran out of Grimmauld. Some party. Having to listen to his terrible family and getting hit by his horrible parents for telling the truth. As he approached James’ house he realized that The Potters were in London for something for with Fleamont’s hair care business.  
  
“Fuck, fuck.” Sirius said with tears in his eyes as he stood in front of the property’s gate. He hated crying and never understood why he always felt like sobbing after dealing with his family. He wished that he could just stop the tears.  
  
“Sirius? Sirius? Are you okay?” A woman’s voice said, right in front of him. He looked up and blinked a few times to get rid of the tears. Josefina was standing there with her Irish Setter. “What happened to you, darling?” She touched his shoulder.  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Were you mugged?”  
  
“No… I…”  
  
Josefina frowned, “Come on, let’s have a cup of tea. Remus is home and you can talk with him if you want.” She gave his shoulder a squeeze.  
  
He couldn’t say no. It was far too early for him to go back to his house. From experience, he knew that he needed everyone to have a bit of time to cool off. Normally Sirius would stay the night at James’ but that wasn’t happening. He also didn’t feel like walking all the way to Peter’s when Remus’ home was right there. “Sure, ah, thank you.” He wiped his eyes.  
  
Sirius followed Josefina into her home, to find Remus curled up like on one of the arm chairs in the living room. He didn’t even look up from his textbook that was balanced on his legs.  
  
Josefina said something in Swedish and Remus’ head jerked up and he made eye contact with Sirius. Remus frowned. “What happened to your face? Was it Crabbe? Who shall we prank?”  
  
“No one.” Sirius cleared his throat and took a seat.  
  
“I’ll make some tea. Do you want some biscuits, Sirius? Have you ate?”  
  
“Biscuits would be nice and yes I ate.”  
  
“Tack, Faster.” Remus smiled at his aunt, setting his book aside.  
  
Josefina left the room.  
  
“So, no one split your lip and gave you an emerging black eye or left a red hand print on your face?”  
  
“Would you believe me if I told you I fell off of my skateboard?” Sirius asked as he tried not to make any eye contact with Remus. He had told him that his family weren’t good people but he never told him what they were truly like.  
  
“No.” Remus said simply. “But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I guess.” He shrugged.  
  
Neither Remus or Josefina pressed the issue as they enjoyed their tea. They just made polite conversation. As they were finishing up, Sirius worried that Josefina was going to send him home.  
  
“Would you like me to make up the guest bedroom? Or would you rather sleep camp style in Remus’ room?”  
  
Remus looked at Sirius, “I think we’ll camp out in my room. If that’s not a problem, Padfoot.”  
  
“No, that’s good, thank you.”  
  
“I’ll get the extra blankets.” Josefina grinned.  
  
An hour later they were sitting on Remus’ bed, listening to some random Swedish punk band Sirius never heard of but Remus thought he would appreciate. “Can I tell you a secret?” Remus asked, reaching over to turn the music down.  
  
“Um, sure?”  
  
“You know how I said I left home because my parents couldn’t take care of me?”  
  
Sirius nodded. He knew it was a lie but he hoped that it wasn’t true that Remus was shipped off because he had slept with a teacher.  
  
“Well, um, it’s a lie. Both my parents died… ah… in May. We were all in a car accident and, er… I survived but — they didn’t.” Remus said, he eyes were too shiny.  
  
“Oh, Remus, I’m sorry.” Sirius frowned.  
  
“It’s fine. No, it’s not fine. It fucking sucks. But I guess it could be worse. I could have had no one and never met the Marauders.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his orange jumper.  
  
“Are you telling me this so I’ll tell you what happened?”  
  
Remus shrugged and cleared his throat. “Sort of. That’s manipulative, huh? But mostly because I’m sick of lying to you all. I just was afraid to say it out loud when I met you.”  
  
“That’s daft.” Sirius said, leaning  against the headboard. “My secret is that my dad did this to me. And my mom’s the one who left the hand print. My family was saying all types of horrible things about everyone that I liked at my own birthday dinner and I just snapped at them all.”  
  
“They hit you? Sirius you should go to the police.”  
  
“And what, go into the system? It wouldn’t even make it that far because my father is a Lord and my parents are filthy rich, it would never go anywhere.” Sirius let out a long breath.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Sirius shrugged.  
  
“Just like I wasn’t okay, this isn’t okay.” Remus lay back against his pillows. “Do you want to cuddle? Physical affection is supposed to make you feel better. It decreases stress. My mum used to cuddle me when I was ill or just in a bad mood. Well, when I was younger. I turned into a teenager and told her I was too old for it.”  
  
“It made you feel better?”  
  
Remus nodded.  
  
“I’ve never cuddled. I mean, I didn’t get my first hug until I was eleven and met James’ mum.”  
  
“It’s not difficult.”  
  
“How?”  
  
“Um, anyway that feels good? You can put your head on my chest I guess and I can put an arm around you.”  
  
Sirius did as suggested and something warm settled into his gut. He liked how Remus smelt like tea and smoke. Being held against him felt very natural. “Let’s not tell the others about this.”  
  
“Afraid you’ll seem gay?”  
  
“No, of course not, I don’t care about that. They might think it’s just weird.”  
  
“It’s stress release.” He laughed and Sirius felt the vibration in his chest. “Do you want to do something to your relatives? We could think of something creative.”  
  
“No, they’d figure out it was me.”  
  
“What if we did something later on? We could serve that revenge later on.”  
  
“No.” Sirius sighed. “Remus, if you ever want to talk about your parents, I’ll listen.”  
  
“And if you ever want to talk about yours, I’ll listen as well.”  
  
After a few long minutes of cuddling, Sirius was almost drifting off until Remus woke up. “You know what else is stress relief?”  
  
“Mmm?”  
  
“Weed.”  
  
“Really, Lupin, you always surprise me.” Sirius sat back up.  
  
“I thought you have overcome your assumption of me being a goody goody.” Remus sat up and reached into the drawer of his bedside table.  
  
“I did but it’s still surprising.” He watched Remus pack the pipe.  
  
“Josefina doesn’t care you do this in here?”  
  
Remus shrugged, “She’s never said anything.”  
  
“I’m moving in here.” Sirius said jokingly but he really wished that he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jävlar!: essentially means “Fuck!”  
> Åh Gode Gud: Oh good god  
> Tack, Faster: Thank you, auntie


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas in the Alps means a depressed Remus, calls to an old friend, snowboarding, a kiss at midnight, and a realization from Sirius.

They were flying — _privately_ — to Val d’Isère in the French Alps to stay at a beautiful chalet for the winter term break. Remus never thought he would do something like that. Needless to say, it was completely unlike any other holiday Remus had taken. His parents made a modest income. Not that they were poor, they had plenty of money to live and do what they wanted to do. But he would have never dreamed to charter a private plane and stay in a French chalet in the Alps. A holiday for the Lupins was going to Stockholm and seeing an Opera or maybe going to Finland or something not too far. They kept things simple and it was fine. Remus always loved the adventures that he went on with his parents. They were normally cultural and full of things to be learned. This trip was rather different.  
  
Remus knew that Potters were rich, from both Fleamont and Euphemia’s families. Fleamont inherited a worldwide, popular hair care company. Euphemia’s family owned what seemed like half of India from the vague comments he heard from his friends and Josie. Remus just didn’t realize that they were private plane rich. They wouldn’t even let the Pettigrews or Josefina pay for part of it. Along with the chalet, the flight was a gift to their friends. Remus thought that it was one hell of a gift. Especially to him, they had only known him for a few months now. His life had turned upside down so quickly, he didn’t really know how to process it all sometimes. It felt like he was on some strange holiday and he’d be going home to his parents any time soon. But they weren’t there anymore. Each time he remembered that he felt that familiar crushing weight on his chest.  
  
Josefina decided it would be nice for them to join the Potters and Pettigrews and take their minds off of the losses they were both dealing with.  It was probably a good thing because since the holiday spirit started to blossom in the air, Remus was becoming more and more melancholy. As soon as the decorations went up he felt himself sinking further into depression. He tried to pull away from his friends but they forced themselves into his life. Sirius had snuck over to his house to cuddle with him, when he noticed he was having a particularly bad day. James also made sure to have Remus’ favorite chocolate on him. Peter was good at cracking a joke. They also did a few pranks that brightened his day every so often (one that dyed Lucius Malfoy’s hair pink, that really had him laughing).  
  
“I’m bored, plait my hair.” Sirius slumped down so he could rest his head on Remus’ shoulder.   
  
Ever since their little heart to heart the previous month, Sirius had been very touchy and affectionate. He wondered if it was because Sirius hadn’t had such physical affection before. Remus didn’t want to deprive him because it was as if he was starved but it wasn’t helping Remus’ crush. Remus was able to manage though. He could control himself and just wank even more than usual. His poor wrist, he was going to end up with carpal tunnel. Remus decided that the friendship with Sirius and the rest of the group was far more important than a possible relationship. Remus had no idea what would happen if he admitted his feelings. Plus, he knew that Sirius wouldn’t return the feelings. How could someone like Sirius like someone like Remus? Sirius was rich and full of life and hilarious. Remus was dull and boring.  
  
“This all really puts a dent on you being a punk skater and our little group being delinquents.” Remus said after he negotiated an angle to work on Sirius’ hair. Sirius found out that Remus had plaited Alice’s hair when she was bored and seemed to take a liking to it as well. When he told Alice about this, she told him that Sirius probably liked him back. That was stupid.  
  
“The plait or the holiday?” He asked in his usual bored, posh tone. It didn’t fit his usual shaggy, skater look.  
  
“Mmm, everything.”  
  
“Punk is a state of mind.” Sirius sighed like he was exasperated with the conversation. “I can still skate. I can still listen to punk rock. I can still compete in the X Games and Olympics with a posh background.”  
  
“Very true, how do you get those things?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“How do you get into the Olympics and such?”  
  
“I’m going to start with competitions. There’s a few on, real amateur things, during our stay. Then this summer I’m already signed up for one competition in Manchester and another in London.”  
  
“That’s great, how come I didn’t know when you did that?” Remus frowned as he finished the french plait.  
  
“You were worried about your papers and such at the end of term.”  
  
“Ah, I see.” He patted Sirius shoulder.  
  
“Thanks, Re!” Sirius threw his arms around him and Remus could hear his heart pounding in his ears.  
  
On the way to the chalet, Remus sat next to Josefina in the back of the SUV. She looked happy to be going away for the holiday. She had said that the year before had been very difficult. But there was clearly something on her mind because she kept looking at Remus, thoughtfully. He finally got her to ask. “Are you and Sirius dating?” She asked him softly in Swedish.  
  
“No! Why would you say that?” He hissed back in the same language. He kept his voice low, even if no one else in the car could speak Swedish he was still paranoid.  
  
“The way you two are. It’s very cute. Puppy love. You braided his hair and he always puts an arm around you. He’s over more than the other two. I’m fairly sure I saw him check you out a few times.”  
  
“He’s straight.” Remus mumbled, folding his arms.  
  
“Is he? Has he said or you just making assumptions?” Josefina glanced in front of them, where James and Sirius were singing some song in French obnoxiously and all wrong. They both were just making up gibberish to go along with what the singer was actually saying on the radio.  
  
“No, he’s never said. But he must be straight.”  
  
“Maybe he doesn’t know. You should give him a kiss and see what he thinks.”  
  
“And ruin our friendship?”  
  
“What about on New Year’s Eve? You can kiss someone then and it’s not because you like them.”  
  
“I’m not talking about this anymore.” Remus looked out the window, not that he could see much because it was dark out.  
  
Thankfully, his aunt didn’t say another word about it.  
  
They arrived in the chalet not long after the conversation with Josefina. It was huge and beautiful, a typical French chalet. It was all wood and there were so many large windows that all had great views. One the first floor was the kitchen, dinning room, and living room. They all open to one another, making the whole space feel even larger than it probably was. The second and third floors had the bedrooms and bathrooms. The adults were all on the second floor and the boys up on the third. There were fireplaces everywhere and everything was just so warm and inviting. It had a ski in/ski out feature that Remus didn’t feel any need to use but everyone else seemed to be excited over it. Of course he was going to go out one or two times but he wasn’t a fan of the cold and snow. Instead he saw the opportunity to sit in front of the fire and drink hot chocolate or tea while reading a good book. He knew the other boys would take the piss some but mostly leave him alone.  
  
Josefina had her own room, the only person who wasn’t sharing. Sirius called rooming with Remus because both Peter and James snored. Maybe his aunt was right and Sirius did like him but he didn’t know it yet. Sirius did do a lot of touching and he was over Remus’ a lot to cuddle, listen to music, and smoke. But he could just think he was a good friend. It was too complicated, he couldn’t overthink because he’d somehow end up with his heart broken.  
  
Two days later on, Christmas morning, Remus woke up to Sirius climbing into his bed. “Vad göd du?” He squinted at his friend.  
  
“I don’t know what the means. You’re in Swedish mode.” Sirius cuddled up against him. Remus’ arm immediately went around his waist. The other boy was warm and nice to hold on to.  
  
Remus took a moment to collect himself and blink away the haze of waking up far too early. He had to wait a moment to start speaking in English. “What do you expect this early in the morning?”  
  
“I wanted to make sure that you’re okay. With the day being…”  
  
“Christmas and my parents being dead?” Remus tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal but in reality it was completely crushing.  
  
“Yeah.” Sirius frowned.  
  
“I don’t want to get out of bed.” He answered honestly. All Remus wanted to do for the day was burrow underneath the duvet and stay in darkness while everyone else was enjoying the merriment. Everyone had asked him if there were any traditions he wanted to continue but he just waved them off. It wasn’t the same without his parents. He started to worry that it was a bad idea to join in on the good times.  
  
“You can stay in bed, they won’t be mad.” Sirius ran a hand through Remus’ curls. Remus felt himself lean into the touch like a cat.  
  
“They’ll be worried and want to talk to me.”  
  
“And you don’t want to talk?”  
  
“No.” Remus hated talking about it. He had a few conversations with Sirius about how he felt and what he missed about them. There were a few times he spoke with Josefina about it as well but it was normally her speaking and him listening. Other than that, it was just so difficult to get any words out.  
  
“They won’t want to talk when you go down there?”  
  
“I don’t know but I feel like they’ll be very worried if I stay up here alone.”  
  
“I could stay with you.” Sirius offered. “We could watch movies and I could bring us up food. It could be fun. Like camping.”  
  
“No, you’re far too excited about Christmas. You’ve been talking about the food and the festivities since after we celebrated Diwali with the Potters.”  
  
“Stay in bed, I’ll bring you some things up and make excuses for you.”  
  
“You’re very kind. You’re supposed to be a delinquent punk skater.”  
  
“Caring is very punk.” Sirius grinned before closing his eyes.  
  
“Are you okay?” Remus asked.  
  
“Mmm, my parents’ idea of Christmas is stuffy parties with people I barely know. This is all so much better. We’ve like two more hours until James comes charging in to wake us up. Can I have a kip here?”  
  
“Sure.” Remus closed his eyes and drifted off.  
  
The next time he woke up, Remus was alone in bed and sunlight was streaming through the blinds. He yawned and reached for his mobile phone to see that it was ten in the morning. He decided to call Alice’s house to wish her a Happy Christmas. Her mother answered and she made some small talk before Alice basically forced the phone from her hands.  
  
“Are you doing okay?” She asked after they chatted about how much they missed one another and what Frank and Dorcas were up to.  
  
“I haven’t got out of bed and no one has come in to wake me up. Well, Sirius crawled into my bed at probably four in the morning.”  
  
“Really now?” Alice said in a suggestive tone. “Did you him the gift of taking his virginity for Christmas?”  
  
“Alice!” He blushed at the suggestion.  
  
“I found his Myspace, he’s cute.”  
  
“Why did I call you?”  
  
“Because, you miss me.”  
  
“I do.” He frowned.  
  
“Do you want me to talk about things?”  
  
“No, Sirius tried to do that earlier. I don’t have the words for how I’m feeling in Swedish or English.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Remus. I miss you and I love you. I hope we can see each other soon.”  
  
“I hope so.” He smiled. He was thinking about going home for the Summer to see his friends.  
  
“Are you going to go have some fun now? At the very least, eat?”  
  
“Yeah, I think I might.”  
  
“Good, call me if you need to later.”  
  
“I will.”  
  
With that, Remus took a few deep breaths and got himself together to head down to the first floor. To his surprise everyone was still at breakfast in their pajamas and it didn’t look like any gifts had been open yet. Everyone looked at him with a mix of pity and surprise, stopping all conversation. “That’s not awkward, or anything.” He said while blushing.   
  
“Oh, Remus, we were just finishing up, I’ll make you up a plate.” Euphemia gestured to the free chair between Josefina and Sirius.  
  
“You haven’t opened gifts yet?”  
  
“Mum wouldn’t let us until everyone was up and Dad wouldn’t get up to cook early enough.” James huffed, his spoilt child seeping through.  
  
“I hope you weren’t waiting for me.” He said as he watched Euphemia fill a plate with all sorts of breakfast foods he’d probably never finish.  
  
“No, Padfoot said that you might not come down. We were actually going to bring you something to eat after we opened gifts if you didn’t come down.” Peter explained to him.  
  
“Well, please don’t sit here and watch me eat. Go open gifts.”  
  
“Bring your plate.” Fleamont insisted.  
  
Remus listened and they all settled in on the sofas and chairs around the tree.  
  
The day wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t the best but it was better than sitting in his room, crying and thinking about his parents. He was emotionally exhausted by the time everyone was sitting around laughing, talking, and playing games that night. So he went upstairs and Sirius followed after him. James and Peter were too busy playing chess to join them. Sirius sat in bed with him and once they were all cuddled up, Remus started crying. He was a bit proud to make it through the day without doing so.  
  
“You’re a good friend, Sirius.” Remus said after calming down a little.  
  
“It’s thanks to you I know how comfort people.” Sirius shrugged.  
  
“I’m glad I found you all.”  
  
“I’m glad you found us.”  
  
There was no way Remus could lose this friendship. No matter what he felt.

***

On New Year’s Eve morning, Sirius competed in a half pipe competition and won his age division. He loved skateboarding but snowboarding was his true love. There was something calming about the cold, crisp air and the sound of the board on the snow. It was easier for him to go into his own world out there in the powder, while it took a bit more concentration on asphalt. He dreamed of winning a gold medal or two or three one day in the Olympics for his country. One day…  
  
Sirius went over to the Potters, Josefina, and his mates after the competition. They had all sat and watched him in the cold, something his own parents would never do. They hated his silly hobby. They had snapped many a skateboard and snowboard, Sirius had taken to keeping the snowboard at James’.  
  
“You’re brilliant out there.” Remus said. He was wrapped up in a thick coat, a beanie, and a scarf wound around his neck. After he spoke he burrowed his nose into the scarf.  
  
“I know.”  
  
James scoffed and rolled his eyes.  
  
“Sirius, have a bit of humility, yeah?” Fleamont rolled his eyes. “But congratulations. Gold in the Olympics next.” He clapped Sirius on the back.  
  
“I think I have a bit more to go before I’m in the Olympics.”  
  
“You’ll get there.”  
  
“I think that’s the best I’ve seen you do.” Euphemia gave him a crushing hug. “You’ve been doing a good job keeping up with your practicing.”  
  
“Mrs Potter’s right!” Peter said enthusiastically.  
  
Josefina said something in Swedish to Remus with a grin before turning to Sirius. “Remus said you were very good on the skateboard but I never imagined such a display, Sirius. I hope you do stick with this.” She gave his shoulder a squeeze. He felt himself flush when she mentioned Remus talking about him.   
  
Strange feelings have been happening since Remus came round. They only grew worse after the night they had spent cuddling. All he ever wanted was to be next to Remus all of the time since then. James told him, jokingly, he felt as if he was being traded in for a new best mate. But it wasn’t anything like that. With James, it was completely brotherly. Same with Pete. But with Remus… Remus made his stomach feel like it was all wiggly and weird. He could talk to Remus about things easier than he could with James. Maybe because he knew that Remus had his own dark things. Deep down, he knew he had a crush on Remus but he didn’t want to admit it. He had a crush on a boy before but never did anything about it. He had snogged a few girls but it never made him feel anything. It was just a bit of fun and to see what it was like but his crushes made him feel more than the kisses and he hadn’t even kissed a boy yet.  
  
There were reasons he worried about admitting his feelings for Remus. For one, he was his new best mate. He didn’t want to push Remus out of the group of he didn’t feel the same way about Sirius. He didn’t want to date him and end up screwing up their friendship if a more serious relationship didn’t work out. Two, he was afraid of what his friends would say. Yeah, they accepted Remus but he wondered if they’d be so accepting if he started snogging Remus in front of them. Three, he worried what the Potters would think of him if he came out as gay to them. He had no relationship with his own family and the one he had cobbled together with the Potters, wasn’t one he wanted to lose at any time. Four, there weren’t any out athletes he could think of (well, outside of Billie Jean King and Greg Louganis and that sprinter he heard about the in the Athens games). It could ruin his career that hadn’t even started.  
  
But Sirius thought it would be nice to kiss Remus once though. Plus, he’d like his first kiss with a boy to be with Remus because he looked like he had nice lips. And it was Remus. Sirius figured he could have a great chance of that tonight.  
  
For New Year, the Potters were hosting a party of people they knew having a holiday in the area, which was unsurprisingly a houseful. Thankfully, since it was busy, it made it easy for Sirius to nick a bottle of whisky. They hid up in James and Peter’s room with that and two grams, which Remus somehow managed to find. Sirius had no idea how the bloke was able to find weed anywhere. It was like he had some sixth sense.  
  
“Remus still needs a nickname.” James said, tilting his head to the side and giving Remus a thoughtful look.  
  
“Stoner.” Sirius snickered, watching Remus take a hit.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes before letting out a stream of smoke. “Rude. You do it as much as I do.”  
  
“We can’t force a nickname.” Peter said wisely.  
  
“Wormtail is right.” Remus said, knocking his foot against Sirius’. “It has to come, er, organically.”  
  
“Fine, we’ll stick with Re and Lupin for now.” James pouted. “But it will come.”  
  
James and Peter passed out, well James passed out in his bed and Peter ended up going to sit in the bathroom the four of them were sharing. Remus checked to make sure he wasn’t dying before he and Sirius went back to their room. “Lightweights, it’s not midnight yet.” Sirius flopped back on to Remus’ bed.  
  
“Five minutes until.” Remus sat next to him.  
  
Sirius sat up carefully because the world seemed to be spinning a bit. “Do you want to go downstairs? I’m sure there’s so old creepy bloke who’d love to kiss you.”  
  
Remus snorted. “No thank you, maybe sleep soon.”  
  
“We need to stay up until midnight. I’m sure we can see the fireworks they let off in the village.”  
  
“Mmm.” Remus yawned.  
  
“Can I kiss you at midnight? It’s the done thing, right?” Sirius hoped he sounded casual about it.  
  
“May you kiss me?”  
  
Sirius blew a raspberry. Only Remus would correct his grammar at a time like this, in their states.  
  
“If you want you can.” Remus shrugged. “Are you gay, Sirius?”  
  
“I, ah, don’t know.”  
  
Remus just hummed. “I feel like this is a conversation to have when I’m not what do you call it, completely wankered?”  
  
Sirius barked a laugh. “Yes, that. S’probably a good idea too.”  
  
“Okay.” Remus nodded before yawning again. “Is it midnight yet?”  
  
“Three minutes.”  
  
After a minute of silence, “Are you having a good holiday?”  
  
“Very much. Any time away from my family’s brilliant. Ah, I’m sorry. I know you’d rather be with your family.”  
  
Remus closed his eyes shook his head. “No, your parents are shitty. Mine were, they were fantastic.”  
  
“The wrong set of parents were killed if you asked me.”  
  
“That’s not…”  
  
“No, Remus, you don’t know them. They’re like evil villains in one of the millions novels you’ve read. The world would be a better place without them. I’ve even heard Fleamont say something like that before. Your parents were good people and I hate that they’re gone, not that I knew them. But the way you talk about them… Both you and them don’t deserve that.”  
  
“I don’t want to talk about this.”  
  
“Okay, sorry.”  
  
There was sudden cheering downstairs and booming noises outside. “Oh, happy New Year.”  
  
“Happy New Year.” Remus smiled.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath before leaning in and pressing a dry kiss to Remus’ lips. Remus put a hand on the back of his neck and kissed him deeper. Their noses bumped as he moved his face a bit. A tongue swiped out across Sirius’ bottom lip before Remus pulled away suddenly. For as little as it was, Sirius’ whole body felt hot and his lips tingled. That never happened before. Oh, yes, he was definitely gay and he fancied the pants off of Remus Lupin.  
  
“Okay, it is time for bed now.” Remus curled up on to his side, turning his back to Sirius.  
  
Sirius thought it was a good idea to go into his own bed and leave Remus to sleep alone. But his mind couldn’t stop replaying the kiss. It was so simple, really. It barely lasted a minute. He hated that he couldn’t tell how Remus felt about it. The other boy did prolong the kiss but he also pulled back and curled away from him.  
  
The next morning and the days following it appeared that Remus didn’t think anything of the kiss. He wondered if the Swede remembered it at all because Sirius thought he would have a conversation about Sirius’ questioning on his sexuality. There wasn’t any questioning looks or innuendo. So, Sirius resigned himself into looking but not touching. He decided that he would spend less time nipping over to Remus’ to cuddle and smoke, only do it when he or Remus were having a very bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Vad göd du?”: What are you doing?
> 
>  
> 
> I have quite few chapters written but I haven’t been able to keep up with editing and stuff between finals and the holidays but now I have like twenty some odd days of nothing much so hopefully the updates will be steady.
> 
> Also, remember this is ’04 going into ’05, the number of out athletes were very low then. That sprinter he heard about was Robert Newton a sprinter hurdler and UK’s only openly gay athlete in the ’04 games. Over all in the Athens’ games, there were only 11 athletes who were openly gay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius have another moment, Remus gets jumped, Sirius panics, there’s some destruction of property, and piercings.

As the winter wore on and eventually kept on deep into March, Remus worried he had scared Sirius off. He snogged him a little too enthusiastically on New Year but he was so wasted, his brain worked too slow to tell him to stop. He was enjoying it so much but Sirius didn’t push away but who knows what he was thinking. When he did move away, he felt like an idiot so he sort of just curled up in a ball and rolled away from it. Sirius didn’t bring it up again but he obviously wasn’t a fan of what had happened. The other boy seemed to stay away mostly with the exception of showing up when one of them was having a bad time of it.   
  
Remus figured that Sirius didn’t know if he was gay. The Swede wished that Sirius would talk to him about it but Remus didn’t want to confront him on it. He knew that coming out was something personal. But he also knew that it was important to talk about with someone who understand. He just worried that Sirius would thing Remus was pushing him to open up because Remus wanted him. So, he figured to just let Sirius come to him. Hopefully it would do no harm to either Sirius’ emotions or their friendship.  
  
There was a nice night when he and Sirius snuck out to meet at the skatepark because the black haired boy wanted to celebrate the fact there was no more snow on the ground after a long winter. James had been grounded for having to serve so many detentions for their last prank. Peter only snuck out when there was something good to be had and told Sirius to bugger off because it was still freezing out. So, this left Sirius and Remus to themselves.  
  
Remus was watched Sirius on the halfpipe for sometime before Sirius rolled over to him. “Wanna try?” Sirius flashed a grin at him.  
  
“No, I sit on the sidelines with these things, you know what. Do you want me to kill myself? Is that why you brought me out here?”  
  
“You were good on a snowboard.”  
  
“For some reason I feel safer on the snowboard. I don’t know, snow has some give, doesn’t it? Asphalt has none.” Remus reasoned  
  
Sirius hopped off of the skateboard and held out both of his hands. “Come on, I’ll make sure that you won’t fall. You can trust me.”  
  
Remus huffed a breath before stepping a foot on the board and almost falling on his face. He noticed Sirius suppressing his laughter as he grabbed Remus’ hands to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. “Careful, now. Put your feet near the screws, at an angle. Yeah, like that.” Sirius squeezed his hands as Remus steadied himself on the board. “Okay, now rock back and forth a little. I swear I’ll catch you, don’t give me that look.”  
  
The Swede listened, feeling the movement of the board under him for a little while.  
  
“Want to try pushing off?”  
  
“No, I think this is enough for today. I’d rather be wearing a helmet for anything else.” He laughed nervously.  
  
“Do you not trust me?” Sirius pouted.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I have a fear of falling and cracking my head open. There’s only so much you can do. I’ve seen you all fall hundred times each and I just don’t think I’d manage to not kill myself.” Remus stepped off the board but was still holding on to Sirius’ hands.  
  
“All right, I won’t push. At least I got you on one.”   
  
“James will be jealous, he’s always talking about how he’s going to get me to skateboard one day.”  
  
“I’m just lucky then.” Sirius leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before grabbing his board and running towards the stairs to do some kick flips.  
  
Remus held a hand to where Sirius kissed him, wondering what exactly Sirius was thinking. Instead of going after Sirius and asking him why he had done that, he just went over and ‘oohed and ahhed’ as Sirius did his various tricks. Remus was sure that Sirius needed to just come to his own conclusions about his sexuality. If Sirius wanted to talk then he would just ask Remus. Hell, he’d kiss him again if he really wanted that but that was it. Though, it’d probably break his heart if he wasn’t interesting in snogging anymore after that.  
  
On a cool and dreary day in April things were going as usual. It had been a good day, mostly because it was Friday. Remus was looking forward to doing nothing over the weekend aside from hanging around with the rest of the Marauders, maybe going into Manchester on Saturday. Remus was walking home with James following school in a rare moment alone with the other boy. He didn’t spend much alone time with Peter and James for no reason at all. The Marauders were generally a group deal with the exception of his alone time with Sirius.   
  
Speaking of Sirius, part of the reason they were alone, he had to go home for something with his brother that evening. He was very vague and clearly didn’t want to be there. Who could blame him for that, really? Meanwhile, Peter was sick so he hadn’t been at school at all for three days. Remus needed to stop by there later with his homework and notes that he promised Rachel Pettigrew he’d bring by.  
  
“Oh god, Lily is fit, isn’t she?” James said after a minute of silence.  
  
“You like Lil?” Remus asked with a big grin. He noticed it when he first met Lily, how James looked at her. He was wondering how long it was going to take James to finally fess up to it. There was that unspoken thing where the boys and girls pretended to dislike one another at the skatepark but the really got along, with the exception of Remus though. “She thinks you’re a, and I quote her here, ‘an arrogant toerag’. I don’t know what toerag means but I assume that it’s not nice given the context. She hates you and Sirius so much at times.”  
  
“But she’s bloody lovely. What should I do? You’re always hanging about her and the other girls.”  
  
“Be less of a wanker around her?” He shrugged. “Don’t prank her and the girls. You know, be nice? It’s not very difficult.”  
  
James grumbled something that Remus couldn’t really make out. “Do you think I’d have a chance if I did that?”  
  
“Yes.” Remus nodded. “Just stop being such a, er, idiot. You’re a good guy, Prongs, you can just be… well, arrogant, as Lily says.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
He scratched his nose and shrugged. “Well, you talk about your parents money a lot and all the things they give you. You boast about your marks. It’s not like you’re a jerk or whatever, you’re just a bit full of yourself sometimes. You’re a good guy but you just don’t censor yourself much.” Remus explained. “So, maybe tone yourself down a little? I like Lily a lot. I would date her if I weren’t gay.”  
  
“Don’t even say that! I’ll murder you. I will make sure they won’t find your body.”  
  
“I’ll be missed.” Remus said as they came up on to James’ house.  
  
“Doubtful, mate.”  
  
“Fuck you. Padfoot and Wormtail would worry.”  
  
“I was their leader first.”  
  
“They’ve changed alliances now, you know?”  
  
James stuck his tongue out at him. “Wanna come in? Mum said she’s making something with chocolate and I know that anything with chocolate is your favorite.”  
  
“No, I have to drop off Pete’s notes and stuff. I also told Josie I would have dinner with her tonight and help her cook it. I don’t know why I did that because it seems like torture.”  
  
“Fine then, have a good night. I’m free later if you want to stop by for a movie or something.”  
  
“You get so needy when Padfoot isn’t around.” Remus snickered.  
  
“My heartaches when he is not around.” He said dramatically with a hand over his heart.  
  
“God, you’d think you two were the gay ones.”  
  
James threw up the V at him. “All right, I’ll let you go have a nice night with Josie. Send her my love. Tell Pete I said hi and to get his arse back in school.”  
  
Remus walked the five or so minutes to Pete’s house, enjoying the crisp air and the quiet for the few moments. He passed Lily, who was trying to wrangle her little sister in front of the house. She gave him a wave before going in, looking a bit exasperated. Whenever he saw Lily with her bratty little sister, he was always happy to not have any siblings. As much as he wanted more of a connection to his parents, Lily and Sirius didn’t offer very good examples of what it was like to have siblings.  
  
Once he got to Pete’s house Rachel Pettigrew, his mum, told him he was in his room watching telly. He went into Pete’s room, which seemed even more like a garbage skip than the last time Remus had been in it.  
  
“You’re such a bloody lifesaver. I probably could have come in today but Mum was worried that I still wasn’t well enough. She worries so freaking much.”  
  
Remus just nodded. He hated hearing his friends complain about their parents sometimes — except for Sirius — because he missed his own so much. What he wouldn’t give to have his mum nagging him again. “No problem, Wormy. I don’t know how you all survived homework without me.”  
  
“Anything interesting happen today?”  
  
“Not really, unless if you count of James tell me he likes Evans.”  
  
“Soon enough I’ll be the lone single of this group.” Peter sighed and fluffed up his pillow.  
  
Remus scrunched his nose. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Oh, come off it, mate. You’re arse over tit for Sirius. I think you were since you met him but since November you two have become closer.”  
  
There goes his friendship, Remus thought to himself. It was nice while it lasted. His face flushed a deep red. “I — Peter… Ah…”  
  
“I don’t care. He fancies you too, you know? I thought he was gay before because he used to gush over this bloke a few years ahead of us. Then you came round and he’s so smitten. I don’t think he realizes it.”  
  
“No.” Remus shook his head.  
  
“Both of you just need to pull your heads out of your arses.” Pete elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
“No, it would ruin too much.  
  
Remus stayed and talked to Peter for a while about his theories on why he thought Sirius fancied him. He didn’t tell Pete about the kiss on New Year because that was too much information.   
  
Before he left Josefina asked him to stop by the shops to pick up some milk. Of course, he didn’t realize this was a critical error until when he was walking home and someone grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into an alleyway. He heard, ‘faggot’ then everything went black after that.

***

“Sirius! We’re coming to get you. Remus is in hospital. You have to come, you can stay at mine tonight.” James said frantically over the phone Friday night. He was supposed to be sitting through dinner with his family to celebrate Regulus being fantastic at one thing or another.  
  
“What happened?” He questioned as he struggled to get out of his formal clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt.  
  
“I don’t know, Josie came over in tears asking if she could get a ride to the hospital because Remus was there and unconscious. Mum went with her and the driver and Dad’s taking us over. We’re going to pick up Wormy too.”  
  
“Why is he unconscious?” Sirius felt his hands shaking from the adrenaline and terror. He had never had someone close to him hurt. Actually, that wasn’t true because James and Peter had hurt themselves so many times when they first started skateboarding. But it was never anything serious. This sounded very, very serious though because Remus was unconscious.  
  
“I don’t know. I think we’ll find out when we get there. She’ll probably know some more then.”  
  
Sirius felt sick to his stomach, like he was going to vomit at any moment. He climbed out of his window, not risking going through the front door because he knew his parents were not going to be happy about him leaving. He ran down the block and waited on the corner for James, smoking the last fag he had on him. He was so happy to see the Potter’s car come around the bend. He hopped into the car and they took off to Peter’s, who also snuck out because his mum would have died if she knew her sick boy was going to hospital. No one really spoke on the rest of the short journey.  
  
When they arrived at St Mungo’s, they found Josefina and Euphemia in the waiting area. “He was apparently attacked when he was walking home from the shops.” Josefina said, her eyes were red from crying.  
  
Sirius stopped in the middle of the room, he had been pacing. “Do they know who did it?”  
  
“They arrested someone. Apparently there were two more boys involved but they didn’t catch them and the one they have, is saying that it was all him.” Her voice cracked.  
  
“Fucking…” Sirius trailed off, feeling like his skin was on fire. “It was them. It was those…” He couldn’t even find the words for Rosier, Crabbe, and Malfoy. They didn’t really deserve any words. “I’m going to kill them.”  
  
“Sirius, that’d be foolish. The cops—”  
  
“Malfoy’s dad’s an MP, he’ll get away with it. Rosier will never turn him in because I’m sure Malfoy’s daddy will help him out just to keep the family name out of the papers.” Sirius clenched his fists.  
  
“Sirius, you can’t go beat their faces in.” James grabbed him by the shoulder. “I know it sounds like a brilliant idea but what would Remus say? He wouldn’t want us to do that?”  
  
“His dad was a boxer! Fair fight! They probably cracked him over the head and he didn’t have a chance!” Sirius yelled, bringing the attention of the whole A&E on to them.  
  
“Sirius, you cannot play their game.” Euphemia said sternly.  
  
“Mate, at least wait for Re to come to.” Peter said, he probably knew that Remus was the only person on the planet to really talk Sirius down from something extremely stupid.  
  
“He’d want you to be here when he wakes up.” Josefina gave him a soft smile. “Do not do anything stupid.”  
  
Sirius chewed at his bottom lip for a moment before going back to pacing the linoleum floor. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Sirius hoped that it was going to take too long for Remus to wake up because he was going to drive himself mental if that was so. He couldn’t believe that less than a year ago he was complaining about Remus being introduced into the Marauders. Now he was there fancying him and nearly crying over the fact that he was hurt.  
  
Thankfully it was only two hours later that Josefina was told he was awake and she was able to see Remus. An hour after that was when they were able to see their friend, who looked like absolute shite. He had a black eye and a split lip. “Bloody hell, mate.” James frowned after they all stood around his bed. “How are you?”  
  
“Oh, I feel like I got beaten up.”  
  
“They knew they’d lose in a fair fight.” Sirius gritted his teeth.  
  
“I knew they’d come after me again.” Remus closed his eyes. “Josefina said that they arrested Rosier.”  
  
James went on to explain why the other two weren’t going to be arrested for what they did and why Rosier was going to get off with nothing but a slap on the wrist. Sirius was back to pacing until Remus told him to stop because he was giving him even more of a headache.  
  
“I can’t just sit here any longer while they get away with it.”  
  
Remus rubbed his temples. “Sirius you can’t be some, ah, vigilante.”  
  
“What if we don’t play fair but also don’t threaten anyone’s life?” Peter asked, looking between all of his mates.  
  
“Exactly what do you mean by that, Pete?” Sirius raised his eyebrow, curious what his friend had up his sleeve.  
  
Two Fridays later, they were standing in front of the Malfoy’s house. Remus’ injuries were all but cleared up. It was the main reason they waited to do this. The other reason they waited was because the Malfoy’s were off to London for some government type do until the following morning. The boys along with Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Em (the girls were very angry at what had happened to Remus and wanted to help take a little revenge) were armed with eggs (seven dozen), tonnes of toilet paper rolls, silly string, fish, and paintballs. “All right, let’s go.” Peter said with a big grin before scaling the wall in front of the Malfoy’s home.  
  
Everyone else followed once Peter somehow managed to disable to alarm system. Sirius never gave him enough credit for how smart Peter could be.   
  
About twenty minutes later the house, trees, and shrubbery were covered with their ammunition. “Thank you.” Remus said with a grin at his friends.  
  
“I’d have rather beat them to an inch of their life but this is rather fine. Good idea, Pete.” Sirius slapped him on the back.  
  
“We should get out of here. Don’t want to push our luck.” Lily said, her arm around Remus. Sirius was a little jealous at how close the two were. Which was ridiculous because Remus was gay and he would also never do that to James, who he knew fancied Lily.  
  
“Back to mine?” James offered to everyone as they began to head back towards the wall.  
  
The next night Sirius snuck into Remus’ window with the earrings and piercing needles they had picked up at a shop in Manchester that afternoon. They had decided to pierce their ears last night during their drunken celebration. Remus told Sirius he had done it for a friend back home so Sirius immediately jumped at the chance to do it and anger his parents even more than usual.  
  
“Are you sure you want to do this? You’re parents are going to lose their minds.” Remus asked as he held the needle over the flame of his lighter. They were sitting in Remus’ ensuite bathroom, where their supplies spread out on the counter.  
  
“I really don’t care.” Sirius huffed and took a seat on the toilet.  
  
“What if they hurt you, worse than normal?”  
  
“Maybe I’ll runaway.” He said as Remus cleaned his ear with rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball.  
  
“The Potters would take you in.” Remus said, reaching for the needle and cork to put behind his ear.  
  
“Mmm.” Sirius was starting to feel nervous.  
  
“All right, ready on three? One, two,” and without even say three, Remus stuck the needle through his earlobe.  
  
“Ow!” Sirius yelped at the sting.  
  
“Oh, you big baby.” Remus said then muttered some other insult in Swedish before he put the black stud into the fresh whole. That caused more pain for Sirius. “Make sure to take care of it.” He tutted. “My turn. If you’re not squeamish.”  
  
“Shut up, I am punk, mate.”  
  
“More emo than punk.” Remus grinned as Sirius stood up so they could trade spots.  
  
“Fuck off. I am not emo. How could you ever say something like that to me? If anyone is emo, it’s Jamie.” Sirius said as he sanitized the needle. He was definitely starting to feel about queasy thinking about sticking a needle into Remus’ skin.  
  
“You have the jet black hair—”  
  
“It’s natural!”  
  
“I heard you humming Panic! At the Disco. Hell, it’s not even early emo, which could be close to punk. I mean, Rites of Spring isn’t terrible. But no, you’re listening to this shitty emo pop.”  
  
Sirius blushed. “Shut your gob, Lupin. I’m about to stick a needle into your ear!”  
  
Remus just snorted as Sirius waved around the needle. “Just pierce my ear, yeah?”  
  
Sirius pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he went on to do as asked. His internal dialogue the entire time was, ‘ew ew ew ew ew oh my god’. “Okay, done.” He said quickly after putting the back on the rainbow earring.  
  
“Do my cartilage too, we have two extra earrings.” Remus pointed to the extra rainbow and black studs.  
  
“Nope.” Sirius held his hands up. “You’re doing that on your own. The crunching. No.” Sirius shivered at the thought of what it would sound and feel like.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and the proceeded to pierce his own cartilage, twice — which Sirius found oddly attractive. Well, he found it attractive and also sickening because it was still gross.  
  
“It wasn’t that bad.” Remus said after. He looked to Sirius and said something in Swedish. “You look pale as a ghost. Do you need water or anything?”  
  
“No, I’m fine.”  
  
Remus grinned before grabbing Sirius by the elbow to drag him back into the bed room. “I got a new CD. They’re this underground band, I think you’ll like. They’re no Panic! At the Disco, though so I’m not sure how you’ll feel about them.”  
  
“Fuck off, you ruddy Swede.”  
  
He did pay for the piercing the next morning but, like any other beating he had endured, he just took it. He was fairly used to it by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a side note also listened to this shitty me pop as I was growing up so I hope you don’t hate me for writing that. I was like Sirius in the “I listen to punk, not this crappy emo” but I listened to both. I just wanted to be cool. Also, I don’t think P!ATD released A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out but let’s just pretend they did and they were popular in the UK at this point.
> 
> Also, sorry it took a little longer than I wanted to post this. I had a little touch of a stomach bug.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius’ parents are shitty, Remus is there for him yet again, Remus gets chatted up, Sirius gets jealous, Remus goes to Sweden, and the boys miss one another.

Sirius twisted the neon pink stud in his left ear as he listened for the house to quiet down in order for him to sneak out to the skatepark that night. His afternoon had been terrible. His mother had apparently run into Josefina at the salon. Josefina had let it slip that Walburga must have been proud of Sirius entering into so many skating competitions this summer. Sirius was sure that his mother turned a nice shade of puce before saying something horrible to poor Josie. The poor woman was probably left gaping in his mother’s wake. Walburga left the salon, without getting her hair dried, in order to be home right on time to give Sirius a nice tongue lashing and tell his father to give him an actual lashing. For a moment he blamed Josefina about what had happened but he never told her not to bring up skateboarding or snowboarding in his parents’ presence. It wasn’t as if Mrs Lupin-O’Connell hung around the Blacks ever.  
  
They were none to happy that their son and heir was attempting to make a career out of this “silly little hobby”. No true Black pursed anything that wasn’t corrupt business or government. He was expected to go to Oxford, specifically Brasenose College, and read both economics and politics. Then he’d graduate and see to one of many businesses under the Black empire before he one day he received his hereditary title of Lord Sirius Orion Black III. In reality, he knew that as soon as he could, he was going to go pro and leave his family in the dust. Sirius just needed to do as many competitions of humanly possible in order to make things happen. The moment he could, he was going to get out of his household and chase his dreams down. Regulus could be left with the burden of the heir.  
  
He reached for his phone and called James, but the bastard didn’t answer. He then tried Peter but nothing. The two were either ignoring Sirius because they both just got detentions thanks to his idea and the Potter and Pettigrew parents weren’t pleased. Or the gits were both already in bed. Whatever the reason he only had one more option.  
  
Only Remus was left, who would undoubtedly meet him because he was always able to meet him. The only issue was, Sirius hated spending time alone with him. It’s not that he didn’t like Remus. No, he liked Remus too bloody much. That was a big problem. He was trying really hard since Christmas to ignore his feelings but they just grew more intense. The worst thing about it, he was sure that Remus was feeling the same way. Sirius was just petrified to do anything about it for all the consequences that could possibly come with. There were too many things that said it was just a bad idea to go about it. Plus, Remus might just fancy how he looked. There was no possible way that someone as brilliant and funny as Remus would want such a screw up like Sirius.  
  
But since he didn’t want to be alone, he shot off a text to Remus  
  
**Want 2 come 2 the skatepark?**  
  
_Sure, meet in front of yours in 15?_  
  
**Gr8**  
  
Sirius went to his closet to find a hoodie and grab his skateboard before he finally jumped on to the tree by his window and made his way down. Ten minutes later, Remus came strolling up the street, his hand in his pockets and his shoulders hunched. Sirius was sure that Remus was growing an inch a week. When they had met about nine months previous, Remus was the shortest of the Marauders. Now he was taller than Peter. He was edging out Sirius now. Sirius wondered what was going to happen over the summer. It was unfair Sirius had the genetic predisposition to being short. That’s what happens through years of in-breeding though. Ah, that and madness.  
  
“You look like you’re skulking in the shadows, Padfoot. Fits your nickname though, eh?” Remus teased when he got closer. “What’s with the late night run? You normally only want to go to blow off steam or celebrate something. Which is it?” The Swede said as they made their way to the skatepark.  
  
“The dark must be hiding my split lip.” Sirius said and Remus came to a stop right in the middle of the road.  
  
“They hit you, again? Fucking hell, Sirius, what happened?” Remus put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  
  
“Fuck if I know.” He muttered because he didn’t want Remus to think that he was placing blame on Josefina.  
  
“Josefina said she ran into Walburga this afternoon and it didn’t go very well.”  
  
Christ, there goes this idea of avoidance. “She just said how they must be proud of me going to all these competitions this summer.”  
  
“I’m assuming that they’re not and your mother didn’t know until Josefina said something.”  
  
Sirius shrugged. “It’s not a Black thing to do. I’m making a mockery of them and they’re not happy. Please don’t tell Josie about it. I don’t want her to be upset.”  
  
Remus frowned. “I should have told her not to bring that stuff up with your parents. She was just trying to make small talk.”  
  
“Mummy hates small talk.” Sirius held his skateboard to his chest.  
  
“I wish you could leave that house.” Remus said after clearing his throat.  
  
“And live where? It’s not as if I know anyone outside of Brackenwoods. Well, my cousin Andi but I wouldn’t want to ask her to support me. She probably can barely support her husband and the sprog.” His cousin Andromeda was a “bad egg” and disowned for marrying a black man, Ted Tonks. Not only was he not white, he was working class and she, as a barrister, made more money than him. The shock, the horror, ect. There was also his Uncle Alphrad but he was old and probably unable to look after him. “I just need to become a famous skateboarder and snowboarder.”  
  
“Then you’ll leave us all behind too. Not that I don’t want you out of that fucking house. I’m just being selfish.”  
  
Sirius felt something clench in his chest and his stomach did an odd little flip. “Re, like I’d ever leave you lot behind. Jamie’s going to be my tech or something. He’s always fussing with the boards, making them better. Peter is going to be my videographer so we can all go over my moves. You can… I don’t know teach me things.”  
  
Remus threw his head back and laughed. “That sounds lovely but I think I’ll eventually have to get my own job.”  
  
“I’ll support you.”  
  
“You will, huh?”  
  
“Yes, you don’t even have to do anything. Just bring your bright and shining face to the slopes or wherever and cheer me on. Oh, that’s brilliant. You could be my cheerleader.”  
  
“Fuck off, I’m not being your cheerleader. You think I wouldn’t kill myself or someone else? I’m barely coordinated as is, you can’t expect me to break out some moves.”  
  
Sirius wanted to tell him all he needed to do was sit there and look pretty but that probably wasn’t a thing to say to your mate. “I’m sure you’d do just fine. Lily takes ballet lessons, I’m sure she could teach you a thing or two.”  
  
Remus scoffed and gave Sirius a little shove in the shoulder.  
  
They were quiet until they reached the skatepark, enjoying their compatible silence. “Are you okay, Sirius?” Remus asked before he could even drop his board to the ground.  
  
“Yeah, mate, you’re here with me.” Sirius flashed him a grin before stepping on to his skateboard and taking off, not wanting to see how Remus would respond to what he had said.  
  
A few days later, Sirius was with the rest of the Marauders in a café in Manchester before the competition. He could barely eat in the anxiety of it all but the others demanded to get breakfast before their day started. Sirius was sitting across from Remus and noticed another bloke, about their age, looking over at them every so often. He was specifically looking at Remus. The girl he was with kept rolling her eyes until she leaned over, across the space between the table to look at Remus. “Hey, mate, are you single?”  
  
Remus flushed. “Ah, I’m gay.”  
  
“Yeah, too queer to care. We saw your pin.” She pointed to Remus’ bag that was hanging off the back of his chair. Sirius had given him the pin on his birthday. “So, are you single?”  
  
“Oh my god Jennie, stop.” The boy across from his grumbled.  
  
“He’s single!” James said enthusiastically.  
  
Sirius had never been jealous outside of his envy of the relationships his mates had with the parents. But what he felt building inside of his gut was much more amplified and very different. He looked over at the boy at the table and really looked at him for the first time. He had his lip pierced. His skin was olive. His eyes were a murky green that stood out against the darker features of his appearance. He had dark brown hair. He was good looking. Sirius hated him.  
  
“Good, this is Marcus. Marcus thinks you’re fit and would like your number. Would please give it to him?”  
  
Remus, flustered by the whole thing was fidgeting a bit but found his confidence. “Does your friend always ask out people for you?”  
  
Marcus look very embarrassed, as he should be, Sirius thought.  
  
“I thought maybe, you were seeing one of these blokes. Didn’t mean to interrupt, really.”  
  
“So, you want my number?” Remus raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You can have it but I’m off to Sweden for the summer. I won’t be back until the end of August.”  
  
Marcus’ face went from happy to upset in a split second. “Oh.”  
  
“You can still have the number if you want?”  
  
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“I don’t.” Remus grinned before reaching into his backpack to retrieve a pen.  
  
Sirius watched the whole exchange, trying to train his face to be unreadable. He hated this Marcus bloke and he hated that Remus apparently fancied him. Sirius knew it was his own fault that Remus was able to date other men. It’s not like he knew Sirius was sitting there pining like some lovesick puppy. No one knew he was pining. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud.  
  
Marcus and Remus were chatting for sometime as the rest of the group finished eating. Sirius finally interrupted them to let Remus know that it was time to get going to the competition. Remus had the gall to ask Marcus to come along. Fucking bastard. Thankfully Marcus had to do something with his parents in an hour and was unable to join them for the afternoon.  
  
They were soon leaving the diner and Peter and James were giving Remus a hard time about what had happened. Sirius stayed quiet, trying to focus on the competition in front of him. It was best if he didn’t go into the events feeling like his heart was being stomped on. It was was his own stupid fault. He needed to get himself together and move on with it.  
  
In the end he was able to focus on his events and ended up coming out on top in every single one. He even got a sponsorship from a local skate shop. It was probably the best showing he had ever had. Even if he felt like shite.

***

Remus had a mix of excitement and sadness about going back to Sweden the morning following Sirius’ competition. He was excited to be back in Sweden in general, he missed it so much. He was also looking forward to seeing his friends and going to places they frequented. But he was nervous about going back because he didn’t know what types of emotions it would bring. He would undoubtedly miss his parents more and since the anniversary of their passing was only days away, his pain was just going to grow worse. He was also going to miss his friends and Josefina and oddly the Potters and the Pettigrews. He had grown so close with all of them in the last year.  
  
Remus thanked whoever it was above that he found such wonderful people in the last year. It didn’t make up for his great loss of his parents but it helped. The Potters were all wonderful people. The Pettigrews were all hilarious and Rachel Pettigrew was always being a mother hen. He had become close to his aunt that he barely knew from before.  
  
When he walked through the doors of customs at Landvetter Airport, Alice and Dorcas were waiting for him for a sign that said, “Welcome Home!” with a bunch of hearts and Swedish flags on it. Dorcas was holding balloons with moose and the flag on them.  
  
“Remus!” They practically squealed as they threw themselves at him.  
  
“We missed you!” Dorcas hugged him tightly.  
  
“I missed you too. I’m so happy to be back.”  
  
“Come on, let’s get your things and catch the bus.”  
  
Remus swallowed hard, thinking about how the bus that took them to Central Station would take them by the spot of the accident. He did his best to not think about it but as they passed by the slight curve on the motorway, he felt as if all of his life was sucked out of him. Alice and Dorcas did their best to keep his mind off of it. It didn’t help much but it was nice of them.  
  
After a tram and another bus ride, they arrived at Alice’s home where he was going to be staying until August. Alice’s house was nice. It was typical Swedish. It was light and airy. It reminded him a bit of his own house but it hurt him to think like that. He went to his parents grave twice but he never went to his old house, as much as he missed it. There was something that seemed so heavy when he thought about his old house. The graves were just memorials but there were no real memories there, while the house held everything that was dear to him. He even avoided some of his parents’ favorite spots in the city for the same reasons.  
  
Remus and his friends settled into their old life but there was an odd emptiness to it. There were a lot of days where he would just stay in his bedroom and stare out the window, wishing things were different. His friends did their best to give him his space but they were desperate to spend time with him because he was going to be back in the UK in only a few months time. So he tried his hardest to get out of bed every day and enjoy the time with his best friends.  
  
Every so often he would get a call or text from one of the Marauders. They would just check in and see how things were going. Sirius had told him in their last phone call that he got three sponsorships between Manchester and London and all the competitions he competed in. It didn’t surprise Remus much because Sirius was extremely talented. He out-shined everyone he went up against in the few competitions the Swede had seen.  
  
Then there was Marcus, who also called. Oh, Marcus… he was really good looking. Remus wasn’t sure how it was possible the boy had any interest in Remus. He seemed sort of perfect. As much as Remus fancied Sirius, he couldn’t have him. At least it seemed like he could have Marcus. Not a bad replacement for the time being.  
  
“Do you only date boys who have a ‘us’ at the end of their names?” Dorcas fiddled with the edge of her hijab. They were sitting on the steps of the canal, enjoying ice cream.  
  
“What?” Remus shot her a look over his blueberry ice cream.  
  
“It’s just that Sirius, Marcus… Your name is Remus…”  
  
“You’re not very funny.”  
  
“People think that I am.” Dorcas gave him big smile. “So, are you going to date Marcus when you get back to England?”  
  
“Seems that he’s still interested in me and I’ve been here for way over a month. It’s rather crazy, huh? I only met him for like a half hour one day.”  
  
“It is not crazy that he likes you. Its crazy that Sirius doesn’t.”  
  
“I don’t know if it’s that all true.” Remus muttered.  
  
Her brown eyes were wide. “What are you saying?”  
  
Remus huffed then bit his cone. “I think he might like me. He wanted to kiss me. He gets a little awkward around me sometimes. I’m fairly sure he was jealous when Marcus was trying to chat me up. But I can’t do anything about it.” As much as that pained Remus, he knew he needed to let Sirius make the move. “I like him but I care about his friendship a lot. I also don’t want to push him into a relationship. He’s probably working out his sexuality.”  
  
“You mean, not all of us know we’re giant homosexuals the day they’re born?” She wiggled her eyebrows.  
  
“Apparently not.” Remus snickered.  
  
“Is it his parents? You said they were racists and stuff.”  
  
“It could be.”  
  
“Maybe he’ll figure it out one day and you’ll be single and the two of you can date and live happily ever after.”  
  
“You don’t even know him.”  
  
“I’ve seen pictures and you’ve talked about him enough. I think he seems just fine. Plus, Alice, Frank, and I want to come visit you next summer. We’ll meet him then. Maybe you’ll be dating by then.”  
  
“Don’t hold your breath.” Remus rolled her eyes and Alice and Frank came down the steps towards them. “Oh good, someone who won’t talk about Sirius all day.” Remus said to Frank who grinned.  
  
“You know how they are.” Frank waved at the two girls.  
  
“Is that some slight at us for being girls?” Alice hit Frank in the shoulder.  
  
“No! I’m just saying the two of you are always after poor Remus over Sirius lately. Give the guy a break.” Frank shrugged, taking a seat next to Remus. “Shall we talk about something other than his pining?”  
  
“You’re no fun.” Dorcas laughed before finishing her ice cream. “But we can. I was thinking maybe we could take the ferry out to Brännö tomorrow for a swim and there’s somethings going on after.” She offered.  
  
“Brilliant thinking, Dorcas.”  
  
Remus couldn’t help but think of Sirius and the rest of his friends back in England. They probably would have loved something so simple as going out to the island and enjoying the long summer day. Sirius, no doubt, would pull James on to the dance floor that night and make fools of themselves. He kept surprising himself over how much he missed his new friends all the time.  
  
A few weeks later Remus was sitting in bed, staring at the ceiling. He hadn’t been feeling himself the last two days, thinking about his parents so much. He was thankful to stop his thoughts when his mobile rang. The number calling was Sirius. The butterflies in his stomach went a bit wild, as they always did.  
  
“Hej Hej, Padfoot.”  
  
“Re! Hey, how’s Sweden? It’s been a few weeks since we’ve talked.” There was something in Sirius’ voice that didn’t sound right.  
  
“Fine, same as the last time we spoke. The girls are keeping me busy.”  
  
“I’m sure… your accent’s thicker, huh? You must only be speaking Swedish?”  
  
“Oh, yeah, I guess it is.” He paused. “Is everything all right? You sound, er, I don’t know… off?”  
  
Sirius gave a soft laugh and Remus could hear the sound of the springs of the Potter’s trampoline. “Nothing, my parents were just being twats. You know, the usual.”  
  
“Ah, I see.”  
  
“They, ah, they’re just getting worse. I mean, I don’t know if they are or if I’m just getting more… rebellious.”  
  
Remus hated the Blacks. He didn’t know how to help Sirius out of that family at all. He hoped that Sirius would have some sort of big break in the world of boarding and get to leave the house sooner than later.  “What happened now?”  
  
“The usual. They were furious I went to London yesterday for a competition. They broke my favorite skateboard.”  
  
“Are you at James'?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Good, good… stay safe. You could probably stay with Josefina. She said she’s been bored without us around.”  
  
“I’m sure she is.” Sirius sighed. “I miss you, Remus. You’re not going to stay over in Sweden, are you?”  
  
“No, I’ll be back. I can’t impose myself here on my friends. Plus, I rather like you all and I’d hate to leave Josefina all alone.” Remus said with a smile.  
  
“Good, I didn’t mean to sound selfish but… yeah, I am.” Sirius laughed.  
  
“Just a little, that’s okay though.” Remus grinned, wishing that he could be with Sirius that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I’m doing the _[52 Week Writing Challenge](http://ourwritingtherapy.tumblr.com/post/135439311691/52-short-stories-in-52-weeks)_ and centering it on Wolfstar. If you’d like to see something certain for any of these short prompts please let me know. I have a few ideas but I’d love other ideas because I don’t think I have 52 in my head. So please head over to my ask box _[here](http://emeliadoyle.tumblr.com)_ , say hello even if you don’t have a prompt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus comes back to England tall, there’s some truth or dare played, Remus has a date, Sirius is a little bit jealous, Euphemia hides Sirius, and Sirius is a little more than jealous…

Remus found himself feeling as if he was now arriving home when he landed back in Manchester. Josefina had brought the rest of the Marauders with her to greet Remus when he came out of customs. She said that they had all just shown up on her doorstep like little lost puppies looking for a mama. Remus was excited to see them all, even if they couldn’t shut up about how much taller he grew over the few short months away. He was now the tallest one of the group, when he left he was still the second shortest. It was a little strange and he felt like a giant. James wasn’t too far behind him, thank goodness, or he’d feel even more awkward about it. Though he did enjoy resting his arm on Sirius head. “This is not funny, Lupin.” Sirius growled as they walked to Josie’s car.  
  
“It’s hilarious. You’re a hobbit.”  
  
“You’re a giant”  
  
That night they had dinner with the Potter’s and Pettigrew’s at Josefina’s house to welcome Remus back. Everyone chatted excitedly about the summer that had passed. Remus decided that his parents would be happy that he had forged together this little family. Though Josefina, Euphemia, Rachel, Fleamont, and Chris combined didn’t equal his parents, they were still good to him. Peter, James, and Sirius were Dorcas, Alice, and Frank’s equals. Well, they were all different but they all served the same purpose of providing loyal, unfailing friendship.  
  
After dinner the parents and guardians dismissed the boys so they could have some time to chat and have drinks in the sitting room — probably to discuss the possibilities of the year to come at school and what trouble the boys would get into. The Marauders went up to Remus’ room to talk themselves and plan a prank or two. They somehow ended up playing truth or dare, a game that Remus always hated with a passion. He couldn’t come up with anything better to do so he went along with playing it.  
  
“Come on, Re, truth or dare.” James nudged him.  
  
Remus sighed and looked down at his hands resting on his lap. “Truth.” He figured he could at least lie. The dare, he couldn’t really get out of and dare with this group were never very tame.  
  
“Are you a virgin?” James asked and pushed up his glasses like they were falling down his nose. Remus didn’t think they ever were and it was just sort of out of habit.  
  
The Swede pursed his lips. He could feel the blush on his cheeks. “No.”  
  
“What!? That was a joke. You’re joking, right?” James’ eyes were wide and Remus could feel the other two gaping at him.  
  
Remus put a hand over his face. “It was only twice and it was with my boyfriend. It’s not like I… I don’t know just did it with someone I didn’t know.”  
  
“We’re not judging you, Remus. Just surprised, mate.” Peter patted his knee.  
  
“What was it like? Did you, er, let him stick it in you.”  
  
“So eloquent Prongs.” Sirius visibly cringed at the wording and it made Remus laugh. “You don’t have to tell him, Re. That’s personal. Why are you always so interested in Remus and his personal business?”  
  
James whacked Sirius in the shoulder before sitting back and apologizing to Remus about the question. “Sorry Remus.” He frowned. “Forgive me for being an idiot.”  
  
“You’re forgiven.” Remus snickered. “Both by the way.” He said slyly, regaining his convinced because he knew he’d send James into a spluttering mess.  
  
“What?” Peter furrowed his brow.  
  
“I bottomed and topped, I guess you could say.” Remus grinned at James’ fidgeting then burst into laughter.  
  
Eventually Remus stopped laughing at his friend’s discomfort and they moved on to Peter, who was next. After a few rounds — one where James had to go down to the adults and serenade them in his pants on his head — Peter turned to Sirius with a very evil grin as Sirius picked dare. “I dare you to kiss Remus.”  
  
“What?” Remus squeaked out, sending a glare his friend’s way. He was going to murder Pete later.  
  
“Well, I don’t want to kiss him. And I don’t think having James’ first kiss being Sirius would be good for him. Unless he’d like it.”  
  
“You’re weird, Wormy.” Sirius said. He was blushing. “Probably will get off to this later.”  
  
Remus laughed, not noticing that Sirius had shifted closer to him. He tried his hardest not to think about how this was going to be their second kiss. He really wished that they didn’t kiss under somewhat forced circumstances. Not that New Year was forced but there was still an excuse to kiss. Remus just wanted Sirius to snog him without any pretense. Maybe this would help him work some sexuality issues out. But here he was with Sirius pressing his thin but soft lips against his, not knowing how his friend was really feeling.  
  
“There Pete, I hope you enjoy that for your wank bank.” Sirius said after sitting back. Remus noticed the blush on his sharp cheekbones was still lingering.  
  
Remus laughed, his lips tingling as he thought of the kiss again.  
  
The other two boys were taking the piss when Remus’ mobile rang. He reached for it to see it was Marcus calling him. “‘Cuse me.” Remus said, leaving the room before they could ask him any questions. “Hello?”  
  
“Hi Remus! Are you back in England?” He asked in a cheery tone.  
  
Remus grinned to himself. If he couldn’t have Sirius, he wasn’t about to complain about dating Marcus. “I am.”  
  
“Good, how do you feel about concerts?”  
  
“Well, depends on the band.”  
  
“It’s a mates band and they’re shite but I thought, maybe it’d be a thing to do.” Marcus said with a laugh.  
  
“Yeah, sure, when?”  
  
Marcus gave him the details and he chatted for a few more minutes before James popped his head out and complained that he was a shite host. Marcus told him to go have fun with his friends so he eventually rang off and went back into his room. Of course the three boys were sitting there, looking at him questionably.  
  
“What?” He asked, sitting back down.  
  
“Who was that?”  
  
“No one.” He shrugged.  
  
“You were on the phone with no one for fifteen minutes?” James asked.  
  
“Marcus.”  
  
“Oh, lip piercing bloke. He’s still interested in you?”  
  
“Apparently. We’ve a date Friday.”  
  
“That’s brilliant!” Peter exclaimed. “What a heartbreaker this bloke is, eh?”  
  
“You’re embarrassing, Wormy.” Remus joked.  
  
“I can’t believe he waited for you all summer.”  
  
“I doubt he was waiting for me.” Remus scoffed at the comment.  
  
“But he was still interested in you. That says something, eh?”  
  
“He looooooveees you.” James grinned.  
  
“Shut up, Prongs.” Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
Remus went on his date with Marcus the following Friday, only a few days before the new school year started. It was fun. Marcus was about a year and a half older than him so he had his own car. He picked Remus up, they went into Manchester, and Remus met a few of his friends. The friends’ band wasn’t horrible and he thought Sirius would probably like them because they were shitty pop-punk wannabes. Afterwards they went over to one of the band member’s flats, who lived alone, to drink and smoke and hang out. They made out a little bit and then Remus caught the last bus back home because he didn’t want to risk driving in a car with Marcus, who had a bit too much to drink.  
  
As the weeks wore on he found himself spending more and more of his free time with Marcus. He did like him quite a bit and it seemed like his friends liked him well enough too. Except for Sirius, surpringly. The boy would get all huffy and annoyed whenever Marcus was around. If he showed up to the skatepark, Sirius would spend the entire time as far away from them as possible. As much as he liked Marcus, he was almost hoping that Sirius would finally just break and tell Remus that he fancied him and wanted to date him. Even though it may be bad for the friendship, it could also be the best thing that he had ever done. He really did want Sirius. It was possible Remus was making up this jealousy in his head because it was what he wanted to see from Sirius.  
  
Even though his love life and other personal relationships seemed to be going well enough, he was having a hard time balancing it with his school life. That wasn’t very good because he had GCSEs coming up and wanted to get as many A*’s and A’s as humanly possible. It was not that he was slacking in his classes, it was just that he wasn’t spending as much time with it as he normally did. It worried him some so he told Marcus they needed to spend a little less time snogging and shagging when he needed to be studying. The older boy didn’t seem to object much, saying he remembered his GCSEs and had his A Levels coming up.  
  
With everything considered, his life now wasn’t terrible. He thought his parents would be happy with how things were going with him. He had a boyfriend and friends, who made him happy. They’d probably like the little trouble he got into with the pranks the Marauders played. Remus wanted to make them proud by doing well with GCSEs then eventually A Levels so he could go on and teach like his dad did one day.

***

Sirius was miserable. Absolutely, sodding, miserable. Remus went away for the whole summer so Sirius spent the whole time missing him, trying not to overwhelm him or weird him out with too many phone calls or text messages. Then the Swede came back all tall and better looking. It was unfair for Remus’ genetics to do something like that to Sirius when he couldn’t have him. The least he could do was get some more spots and his front teeth could fall out or something. No, it was the exact opposite. He got so fit. It was completely unfair and cruel. He cursed the universe for doing this to him.  
  
When he was back in their lives for only days, he started to date that wanker Marcus. He was taking up all of Remus’ free time it seemed. Marcus even showed up at the skatepark every so often. That was their place, Sirius thought. Theirs and the girls but if he said anything, he’d no doubt draw attention to his seething jealously. Sirius had seen the two snog more times than he had cared to and it was driving him mad. He couldn’t say anything because the others would think he was being homophobic or jealous. Either way, it was bad.   
  
But then again, it was all his own fault. He needed to just get over Remus. It seemed easier said then done. Sirius had a made a point of not hanging out with Remus without James and Peter around. He stopped going over to talk and cuddle, even when they were having bad days. It hurt but he figured that if he ever wanted to get over Remus then it would be the best thing for him. He just hoped Remus was talking about how he hurt with Marcus.  
  
The weekend after his sixteenth birthday, Sirius, Peter, and James were going to see if Remus wanted to hang out but when they turned the corner they saw Remus jogging out of Josefina’s house to Marcus, who was leaning on the car. “What a tosser.” Sirius muttered and his two friends looked over at him. He worried for a moment that they were going to see what he really felt about Remus so he covered it up quickly. “What? I just don’t like him. He’s a bit pompous.”  
  
“There’s only room for one pompous git around here.” James said as they watched Remus get thoroughly snogged against the car. James let out a wolf whistle, making the two boys jump apart.  
  
“What the fuck!?” Remus glared at his friends. His curly hair was a bit all over the place from Marcus’ fingers carding through it. Sirius felt white-hot jealousy curling in his gut.  
  
Marcus just laughed, his stupid smile, showing his stupid white teeth.  
  
“That’s not a way to greet your mates, Re.” Peter snickered as they walked over to the couple.  
  
“Sorry, what’s going on? Were we supposed to hang out and I forgot like some twat?” Sirius liked when Remus used British slang, he was doing it more and more often.   
  
Remus looked panicked for a moment. There had been one or two times where Remus had made double plans with Marcus and the Marauders. When that happened Marcus always invited the group along because most of the time they were going to some party or show in Manchester. When they did end up at a party, they would be surrounded by snotty arseholes, who tired to be more intelligent than they were. Not to mention Remus and Marcus would disappear at one point in the night and then come back looking disheveled and well fucked. He hated those nights.  
  
“No,” James shook his head. “We just wanted to see if you’d like to hang out.”  
  
“Ah, well we’re going… we’re off for the night.” That meant they wanted alone time to shag. Sirius felt like they were always shagging, he didn’t think that it was possible.  
  
“We’ll just have to survive without you.” James let out a weary sigh. “But really, have fun, be safe.” The bastard winked and Remus blushed.  
  
“We will be. I’ll get Remus home by his curfew.” Marcus winked back and Remus elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Remus asked as Sirius noticed the other boy’s hand drifting lower and lower down Remus’ back towards his arse.  
  
They said their goodbyes and Remus and Marcus were soon off. Sirius gritted his teeth when he saw Remus lean over and press a kiss or two to Marcus’ neck as they pulled away from the curb. “Are you… jealous, Sirius?” Peter asked after the car was out of sight.  
  
“No.” Sirius tried to sound shocked and disgusted. “Why the fuck would I be?”  
  
“Don’t know, you just seem… weird around Marcus.”  
  
“I told you, there’s something I don’t like about him.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not jealous?”  
  
“Positive, are you? I just don’t like Marcus and he’s stealing all of our Marauding time with Lupin.” He said, trying to keep his voice from wavering and giving him away. “Let’s go to the skatepark. I saw Lily leaving with Marlene earlier, they’re probably down there. James can sit there and stare at her.” This was how he knew he would get out of the subject of Remus and Sirius’ supposed jealous put away.  
  
“Fuck off, I do not stare.”  
  
“You should just ask her out.” Pete said with a shrug.  
  
After that they didn’t bring up Sirius’ jealousy again. Things were fairly normal outside of the fact that Marcus was always bloody around. Except when it was Christmas and they got to go to France for the hols again because it was just the four of them and their families. Sirius didn’t share a room with Remus again, though, because he didn’t want to end up cuddling him. He didn’t kiss him at midnight either. No, Remus was on the phone with Marcus at midnight. Not that they would have snogged if Remus wasn’t on the phone. But they did spend all of their time together and Sirius missed it so much when they went back to England.  
  
In February, Sirius found himself spending a majority of his time with the Potters. At one point, after a particularly bad beating, Sirius ran away from home for a week. It was during the Olympics so Sirius was happy to be able to enjoy the programing at the Potter’s in peace. Hopefully, he thought, in four years he would be out on the slopes competing for a gold medal. He wanted to be like Shaun White, who had four gold medals and two silvers in the Winter X Games going into the Olympics in Turin.  
  
On the day of the halfpipe final, which Shaun White was obviously going to win, Sirius had been away from home for eight days. Sirius wandered into the kitchen to get something to drink during a commercial break. Euphemia greeted him with a broad smile. “I making some biscuits.”  
  
“What kind?” Sirius asked curiously because she always made the most interesting things.  
  
“Just chocolate chips.”  
  
“That’s plain for you. I’m sure they’ll be brilliant though.” He said as the doorbell rang.  
  
“Got it! It’s probably Remus!” James shouted from the living room.  
  
“I feel like I have seen Remus in ages.” Euphemia said as she looked into the oven to check on her cookies.  
  
“Yeah, neither have I.” Sirius frowned, staring at the fridge, unsure of what he wanted.  
  
“Sirius are—” Euphemia had begun to talk but was interrupted by James’ loud voice.  
  
“No, Mrs Black, we haven’t—”  
  
“Nonsense James Potter, I know that he’s here.” Sirius’ blood ran cold when he heard his mother’s voice coming closer.  
  
Euphemia’s eyes went wide then opened the pantry and physically shoved Sirius in there.  
  
“Walburga, how nice to see you.” Mrs Potter’s sarcasm dripped on every word. “Would you like some tea?”  
  
“No.” As if Walburga Black would dare have tea with someone like Euphemia. “Where’s Sirius?”  
  
“Hmm, haven’t seen him in almost two weeks now. Has he been at school, James?”  
  
“Yeah but… we haven’t talked, really.” James Potter was a horrible liar. Sirius had to hold back a laugh. “He’s been in a bad mood.”  
  
There was a long silence, his mother was probably looking between James and Euphemia to see if she could spot some type of tell. “Well, when you see him again. Let him know he needs to come home. This is utterly ridiculous.” She said then there was the sound of her heels going out towards the front of the door and the bell rang again.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Soon his mother was gone and heard Remus’ voice asking why Sirius’ mother had been here. As Remus and James came back into the kitchen, Sirius fell out of the pantry. Remus was looking at him as if he had five heads. “Why were you in the Potter’s pantry? Does it has to do why your mother almost knocked me over when she walked out of the door?”  
  
“She was looking for me.” Sirius said, noticing the love bite on Remus’ neck when the boy unwound his scarf. He heart clenched. He couldn’t understand why he was still feeling this way after so long. How come he couldn’t just get over Remus and get back to liking him as a best mate?  
  
“He’s been hiding out here.” James explained.  
  
“Ah, hopefully she doesn’t go over to see Josefina next. She might just get punched.” Remus laughed.  
  
“Lupin’s don’t take things lightly ‘eh?”  
  
“She hates how you’re treated in that house — not that anyone else doesn’t but she’s having a bad day.”  
  
“Is she okay? Should I drop by with something?” Mrs Potter asked after she took the two baking sheets out of the oven.  
  
“Ah, it’s Nick’s birthday. She’s just not in the mood.”  
  
“Maybe we should have pointed her over to yours then just so Josie could get some emotions out and give Walburga what’s coming to her.” James huffed.  
  
“Can we not talk about this anymore? I’m sure the finals are just about to start now. I don’t want to miss it.” Sirius changed the subject.  
  
“Yeah, sure. Pete said he’d be late, if he makes it at all. Stuck at his nan’s.” James reminded them as he went to get some juice from the refrigerator.  
  
Later, before the final runs started, James went off to the loo and Peter still hadn’t shown up. Remus put an arm around Sirius and squeezed his shoulder. “Are you really okay?” He asked, concern written all over his face. “You didn’t come over after your — after whatever happened, happened. You didn’t even talk to me about it at school. It’s been over a week. Normally we talk about this stuff. If you don’t want to, that’s fine… I just. I’m still here for you, you know? Just because I’m dating Marcus doesn’t mean that I don’t have time for my best friends.” Remus gave him a weak smile.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Sirius let out a shaky breath, not because of the subject but because of the closeness of Remus. He was so fucked. “I just didn’t want to bother you.”  
  
“You’re never a bother, Padfoot. If you’re having a bad day, tell me. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your situation but I know how it feels to feel like shit. Peter and James don’t really understand how shitty life can be sometimes.”  
  
Sirius wanted to just lean in and kiss him but he stopped himself, mainly because he heard James’ footsteps coming back down the hallway. “Thank you.”  
  
As kind of an offer it was of Remus, he didn’t go to him every time he had a problem with his parents. He did try once but as after scaling the vines to Remus’ room he looked in the window to see Marcus and Remus snuggled up under the duvet. Their clothes were scattered all over the floor. Sirius nearly fell off of the vines. After that he couldn’t bear to go to Remus’ room. He felt so jealous, he almost knocked on the front door to tell Josefina what he nephew was getting up to. But that would just make things worse with Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless something catastrophic happens, next chapter will be posted tomorrow afternoon EST


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius gets injured, the Swedes invade England, there’s a party, Marcus is an asshole but it ends up pretty well for both Remus and Sirius.

The moment Remus finished his last GCSE, he felt like a weight was lifted off of his chest. He was the last to finish the exam he headed to the skatepark to meet his friends. His history exam was the last one out of everything so he was the only one who was left to have some freedom. He ran to the skatepark, out of pure joy of being free for the summer. He was fairly certain that he did well on all except for maths because he was always shit at maths. The whole experience of revising and then sitting for the GCSEs were just exhausting and he needed to blow off some steam over the summer. Which, he planned on doing a lot of and as soon as possible. Dorcas, Alice, and Frank were all coming out for the whole summer starting the following day. He couldn’t wait to introduce his friends to one another. Remus was sure that they would all get along great.  
  
To his surprise Marcus was chatting with Peter when he arrived at the skatepark. Remus felt a grin blossom across his face. “Hi, love.” Marcus smiled back at him before Remus all but jumped on top of him.  
  
“Hi, I didn’t know you’d be here.”  
  
“I wanted to surprise you.” Marcus hugged him before giving him a quick kiss.  
  
There was a yelp and then a sound of a board rolling away without its rider. Remus looked behind Marcus to see Sirius laying on the ground, cradling his wrist. “Fucking hell.” Sirius groaned as the four other boys walked over to him.  
  
“Mate, are you okay?” James asked as Sirius sat up with a grimace.  
  
“I think it’s broken. Fuck, I have a competition in a week.” Sirius made a face and Remus leaned down to help him off of the ground.  
  
“Marcus, can you drive us to the hospital?” Remus asked with a frown.  
  
“Yeah, come on, lads.” Marcus said before he started walking to his car.  
  
“What am I going to do if I can’t participate in the next competition? I have a bunch lined up this summer.” Sirius looked at Remus, terrified.  
  
“If it’s a broken wrist, I’m sure you can still participate. It’s not like you skate on it. It’s your right wrist too. You tend to lean on the left when needed in tricks.” Remus assured his friend, keeping an arm around him as they made their way.  
  
“Mate, what were you even doing? One minute you were on your board and the next I look over and you were on the ground.” James nudged his shoulder.  
  
Sirius blushed, probably embarrassed by hurting himself from basically doing nothing. “I don’t know, just lost my footing. I wasn’t paying attention.”  
  
“That’s what would happen if I stepped on one alone.” Remus laughed as they got to Marcus’ car.  
  
About fifteen minutes later they were at the hospital. Even though the waiting area was fairly busy, Sirius was attended to quickly. Remus was informed by James it was because his parents had donated money for some new equipment and had a wing named after them. “Amazing.” Marcus said. He was always amazed at how rich the Potters, Blacks, and even Josefina were.  
  
Remus leaned into Marcus, who had his arm around him. When Pete and James were busy debating something to do with snowboarding, Remus kissed Marcus soundly. “What are we doing tonight?”  
  
“There’s a party, I’m sure. My parents leave early tomorrow for my aunt’s wedding. You can sleep over if you want. I could sneak you in.”  
  
“Great.”  
  
“Re, guess what.” Marcus smirked like he was up to something.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
“Ugh, you two are so gross.” Peter snorted.  
  
“Ah! Peter Pettigrew, you homophobic little twat.” Remus pretended to be offended, even though he knew why his friend was really complaining.  
  
“I’d be saying that to any couple who were snogging and looking at one another all moony-eyed.”  
  
Remus laughed, just snuggling closer to Marcus. He was fairly happy in his relationship. He’d be stupid to think it would last forever. They were both young and Marcus was planning on going to university in Dublin come September. But he did love him to an extent and he thought, maybe they could get over the distance and make it work for a little bit longer.  
  
About an hour later, the verdict was that Sirius only sprained his wrist and would have to keep it in a splint so it would heal itself. Marcus invited the other boys to the party and they tagged along but took the bus back home instead of making Marcus drive back to Brackenwoods. Remus stayed over and they shagged a few times between that night and when he had to get home the next day to Josefina, who thought he was sleeping over at Peter’s. Remus knew she probably had an inkling that he was really spending that night with Marcus, she wasn’t stupid.  
  
He met his old friends at the airport and the spent the next two days to themselves. Remus showed them around Brackenwoods and Manchester. They spent their time catching up on their lives and talking about old times. On the third day they finally met the Marauders and Marcus. Alice told him she didn’t like Marcus and needed to help Sirius get his head out of his ass because she liked him a lot better. Other than that though, everyone seemed to get along.  
  
The following weekend Josefina had to go out of town for an event. She left with the words, “If you have a party, for the love of god, clean up after yourself and don’t get arrested”. Remus grinned because he and all of his friends had already planned for a party. Remus was a little worried that the Marauders and Marcus were inviting people he didn’t know all that well. He just went with it. Even as the house was filling up with loud teenagers he didn’t know. Remus was just thankful that they had hid away everything valuable in Josie’s room and locked the door to keep it safe.  
  
“This is fun! Do this a lot in your fancy house?” Alice asked as Marlene, Mary, Em, and Lily were walking towards him.  
  
“No, this is a first.”  
  
“Remus!” Lily threw her arms around him.  
  
“Brilliant party, mate!” Marlene said.  
  
Remus notice Dorcas looking at Marlene with a slight smile. “Have you all met each other yet? I don’t think you have.” He introduced the girls and Frank to one another before going off to find Marcus. He hadn’t seen him for at least a half hour.  
  
“You okay, Remus?” Sirius asked with worried eyes. Remus was surprised because he didn’t think he looked upset.  
  
“Yeah, why?”  
  
“Um, nothing.”  
  
“Have you seen Marcus?”  
  
Sirius frowned and James cleared his throat. “I think I saw him go upstairs a little ago.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“Ah, Re, he was with someone else.” James said and Remus felt his stomach drop.  
  
Remus started for the stairs before three pairs of hands on him.  
  
“You want us to come?” Peter asked.  
  
“No, I’m just going to see if you three just saw something and misinterpreted it. I can take care of it myself. Please.” Remus had a bad feeling but he didn’t want to believe that this boy he had been seeing for nine months was currently cheating on him.  
  
But he was. Not only was he cheating on him but he was doing it in Remus’ room of all places. “What the fuck are you doing?”  He shouted and closed the door behind him. Marcus and the other boy were quickly trying to put their clothes back on. “I thought you loved me?”  
  
“Remus I—”  
  
“Just shut up.” Remus snapped then continued to swear at him in Swedish. He had never felt so betrayed before. He knew they wouldn’t last forever but that didn’t mean he thought that Marcus was sleeping around behind his back. His mind immediately went to worry, thinking if they had always practiced safe sex because who knows how many people Marcus had slept with while they were together.   
  
No wonder why he had no objections to the nights Remus couldn’t make it out when he was studying. Or the nights when he went off with the Marauders.  
  
“If you could let me explain…” Marcus said as the other person left the room, scurrying past Remus and looking terrified.  
  
“Explain what? He fell and you caught him with his tongue in your mouth and cock in your hand?” He shook his head. “Get out of my house and I never want to see you again.” Remus shoved him towards the door. “You could have at least done it — not in my room.”  
  
“I am sorry. It’s not like—”  
  
“Dra åt helvete. I did love you. I mean, maybe not enough to last forever but I loved you and cared about you. I thought you felt the same way to at least keep it in your pants when you were with me. Fuck, if you wanted to get laid, you could have found me. I wouldn’t have objected. When do I ever?” Remus was suddenly feeling inadequate. How terrible was he, if he wasn’t enough to please Marcus and make him happy?  
  
“Please—”  
  
“Just get out of here, Marcus.” Remus pleaded with him because he felt as if he was now on the verge of tears. He knew that this asshole didn’t deserved to be cried over but he was heartbroken.  
  
Not a minute later Marcus finally left the room and right after there was a loud commotion on the stairs and then a knock on his door.  
  
“Fuck off.” He shouted at Marcus, or whoever it was behind the door. He needed to just be alone.

***

Sirius watched Remus go upstairs, knowing what he was going to see. The Marauders were talking about how to broach the subject with the Swede before he had come over. They all watched, with their jaws hanging open, as Marcus went upstairs with some bloke they had seen at a party they went to with Remus before. Not only were they just walking up the stairs, he had his hand firmly on this bloke’s arse. Sirius practically squawked at his mates, saying that he told them that he didn’t like the looks of Marcus. He did feel bad for Remus though, he didn’t deserve that.  
  
“I’m going up there.” Sirius said firmly.  
  
“He said he didn’t want us to come up there with him.”  
  
“He’s about to have his heartbroken. He needs a mate. I’ll go. Give me a few minutes once this arse leaves to talk to him.” Sirius said with a stiff nod.  
  
“Why you?” James asked, his eyebrow cocked.  
  
Sirius did his best to school his expression and not blush. He was still crushing terribly hard on Remus. He missed him so much because he had barely spent any alone time with him for months. “We talk about emotional things because you two are heartless bastards.”  
  
“Whatever, you wanker. Fuck off and make Remus better.” James shooed him and he headed upstairs.  
  
When he reached the top of the stairs, he could hear Remus muttering in Swedish and the sound of clothes being put on. He was speaking English again by the time the Other Man basically ran out of the room. A minute after that, Marcus came out. He didn’t even look at Sirius, which was good because Sirius stuck his foot out and sent him tumbling down the stairs. Without worrying if the twat who hurt his friend was okay, he knocked on Remus’ door. He couldn’t believe that bastard had the nerve of fucking another bloke in Remus’ room.  
  
“Fuck off!” Remus’ voice cracked.  
  
Sirius frowned, knowing the boy was either crying or about to cry. “Re, it’s me. Let me in.”  
  
“Sirius?” He sounded closer to the door now.  
  
“Yeah, it’s just me. I promise. I want to make sure you’re ok.”  
  
Sirius leaned his ear against the door and heard Remus sniffle then take a deep breath. Right after the door opened and Sirius fell into Remus, leading them both to be sprawled on the ground. “Vad fan, Padfoot?” Remus squirmed and Sirius jumped off of him as if he had been electrocuted.  
  
“Are you okay?” Sirius leaned down to help him up but Remus brushed him off and got to his feet himself. “That absolute wanker. I can’t believe he did that to you.”  
  
“Well, I mean, who could blame him? I’m not much, am I?” Remus moved behind Sirius to close the door.  
  
Sirius spun around to stare at his friend as if Remus had lost his mind. “What do you bloody mean you’re not much?”  
  
“I’m a mess, Sirius. If it weren’t for my aunt I’d be a poor orphan.”  
  
“But you have her. Don’t say you’re nothing, Remus Lupin! You’re brilliant! You’re so smart, you put everyone else to shame. You’re a snarky arsehole but also so nice. And…” Sirius took a deep breath. “You’re fit. He’s mad to be cheating on you. I — I wouldn’t I would never do that to you.”  
  
Remus furrowed his brow.  
  
Sirius was feeling especially brave so he went on to fill the silence. “I’d be lucky to have you. I’m nothing. I’m just this facade of a posh boy who listens to punk and boards. But there’s nothing under that, is there? Expect maybe a tangled mess.”  
  
“Now that’s stupid, Sirius.” Remus moved to sit on his bed.  
  
“I’m being real here, Lupin. You’re so bloody fantastic, you only deserve the best. Marcus certainly isn’t that.” Sirius went onto his knees in front of his friend, placing his hands flat on Remus’ thighs.  
  
Remus licked his lips and Sirius watched his adorably pink tongue the whole way. “Are you what I deserve?”  
  
Sirius couldn’t think of anything to say so he leaned up and pressed his lips against Remus’. It was better than the kiss at midnight when they were wasted. It was better than truth or dare when it was forced. It was better than the two kisses his had with those random girls. It was better than anything he could imagine, really.  
  
“Really?” Remus said looking at his with his bright hazel eyes.  
  
Sirius moved so he could sit next to Remus. “Do you know how hard it’s been watching you with that bastard? I didn’t like him from the start and yeah, I was jealous, but I knew there was something else that I didn’t like about him.”  
  
Remus laughed. “I thought you were just working out your sexuality. I wish… How long have you?”  
  
“Since before we first kissed, probably that November. I knew I was gay before that though.”  
  
Remus muttered something in Swedish. “I liked you the first time I set eyes on you then it just got worse. I didn’t think you’d ever want me.”  
  
“You daft idiot, of course I want you! I’ve been pining away like some Victorian maiden in a novel. I’m surprised I wasn’t much more obvious. Hell, I was crawling into your bed and cuddling you a lot for just a friend.”  
  
“I thought you just craved affection.”  
  
“Only from you! I had a crush on another boy but, I just thought he was really fit. I’ve never wanted anyone, really. Well, except you.” Sirius shook his head.  
  
“You stopped coming over, I thought maybe you might not like me like this…”  
  
“I was trying to get over you because I didn’t think you could fancy me.”  
  
“We’re both really dumb, huh?”  
  
“I’d say… you still fancy me right? I just want this to be clear.”  
  
Remus laughed. “Yes. I never said a thing because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I don’t want to hurt anything with James and you either.”  
  
Sirius couldn’t believe that Remus had still been thinking of him even when he was with Marcus. “I’m worried about my career too on top of those things. Not many gay men in snowboarding… if any… actually from what I understand there are none.”  
  
“I’m sure there’s the right statistical amount but they’re just not out.”  
  
Sirius bit his bottom lip. “I just don’t want to ruin things before they start with my career and I don’t want my family to know. They might actually kill me…”  
  
Remus rubbed his face. “It’s better off if we just stay friends then.”  
  
“No! Remus, I don’t want to go back to being just friends. I want to be yours, I want to be your boyfriend.”  
  
The Swede shrug and looked down at his feet. “I want to be yours too. Maybe we could keep it quiet.”  
  
“You’d do that for me? What if it doesn’t work?”  
  
“What if it doesn’t work if we’re out to everyone?”  
  
Sirius fidgeted. “Are you a little nervous right now?”  
  
“Terrified, like I’m about to jump off a cliff.”  
  
“I’ll catch you.” Sirius flashed a winning smile. “We’ll work it all out as we go, right? Maybe I can feel out what James and Pete would think about us together. They know you’re gay and don’t care.”  
  
“But two of your friends snogging might be different.” Remus said.  
  
“Yeah. But we’ll figure it out.”  
  
“We will.” Remus smiled before he leaned a bit closer to Sirius.  
  
Sirius’ lips found his friend’s — no boyfriend’s — lips again because he just couldn’t help it any longer. But of course there was knocking on the door and a second later the door flew open with James, Peter, Alice, and Frank standing behind it. By the point the two had separated so they were sitting an acceptable distance apart. “Are you okay? What happened?” Alice asked, looking very nervous.  
  
“Marcus is an arsehole, like I said.” Sirius folded his arms.  
  
“Did you push him down the stairs?” James asked.  
  
“He may have tripped over my foot.”  
  
Remus threw his head back in a deep, rich laugh. “Oh god, Sirius! That’s — that’s terrible but thank you.”  
  
“He really was cheated on you?” Frank questioned. “What a jerk.”  
  
Sirius felt like he was soaring. He wanted to tell everyone in the room that he was finally dating Remus John Lupin! He wanted to spend the entire party snogging him. Sirius wanted to complain about all the things that he couldn’t do but he took solace in remembering that they could spend all there free time alone, doing those things that he wanted.  
  
They enjoyed the rest of the party, Remus appeared to be purposefully keeping his distance from Sirius for a chunk of the night. Sirius couldn’t blame him because he was sure that he accidentally snog him or hold his hand or do something boyfriend-like. He was so excited when the party was winding down and Remus settled all of his friends into sleeping in various places around the large house because he saved Sirius for last.  
  
Sirius joined him in his room. Remus let Sirius borrow some pajamas and soon they were crawling into Remus’ bed. But Sirius didn’t feel a thrum of anxiety over the fact that something physical could happen, like he thought he might. No, he felt completely comfortable because he had been in Remus’ bed before. It just felt right, like he was mean to be there. Plus, he knew Remus wasn’t going to force himself on him.  
  
“I’m a virgin, you know? Never had a blowjob or even a hand job. I’ve never wanted to, really.” Sirius said as they cuddled on Remus’ bed. He felt like with Remus being sexually active, he should let him know. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to do it or anything with Remus, he was just a little worried he was going to be terrible and Remus was going to hate it.  
  
Remus hummed, stroking his hand just under the hem of his shirt on his back. “That’s fine, I don’t really care. I also wasn’t planning on shagging you with a house full of people. Even if they all passed out, I’d rather not risk someone coming in here.”  
  
“I’m kind of nervous about… that.”  
  
“What part?” Remus kissed the top of his head.  
  
“All of it, I guess. I don’t know what to do. I mean, I’ve seen porn online but it’s not exactly the same, is it?” Sirius felt something weird fluttering in his stomach. It was different from the usually butterflies he got when he was so close to Remus.  
  
“No, it’s better. It’s less… dirty. It’s so acted out online.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Mmhmm. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I’m happy to just snog and cuddle you all the time.” Remus hugged him tighter.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t want to do it with you, it’s just that I’m nervous.”  
  
“We’ll go slow. Do whatever you want, when you want to do it.” Remus shrugged.  
  
“It seemed like you had an awful lot of sex with Marcus.”  
  
“I did but that’s just how it was with us. I should have known there wasn’t anything deeper there. Some people believe sex is love and I’m wondering if I’m one of those that associate those things.”  
  
“Then maybe it’s best if we both waited to have sex.”  
  
“We’ll take this slow.”  
  
There was a long moment of silence and if Sirius wasn’t aware of Remus’ breathing, he would have thought the other boy was asleep. Since he wasn’t, Sirius went on to speak. “I came here once and you two were… I wanted to talk to you but you both were in bed and it looked like you just had sex.”  
  
Remus made a frustrated noise. “You should have knocked on the window. I would have told him to go home if you needed to talk to me. Is that why you stopped coming around?”  
  
“Partly.”  
  
“Well, my window is always open to you. I don’t care what time it is, if you need to get away from your house and talk about things, I’m here.”  
  
Sirius sighed. “God Remus, I’m so happy right now. I know I should feel bad about you getting your heart broken but I’m selfish because I have you now.”  
  
Remus chuckled. “That’s fine, you made it all better.”  
  
“Good.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone sees someone they shouldn’t, there are consequences, Fleamont and Chris are knights in shinning armor, Remus has an anxiety attack, Sirius steals a car, Remus get a nickname and draws something.

“Come on, kiss me.” Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear. “We’re alone here.”  
  
Remus was trying, very hard to finish their lab report, which Sirius didn’t seem to care about. They were due back at the Potter’s for tea to celebrate Euphemia’s birthday in only a few hours and he wanted to get their work done before the weekend started. Peter and James had left because they had finished theirs — or so they said. Remus seriously doubted it. This left Remus and Sirius alone in the library, which as lovely as that sounded, it was really putting a damper on Remus getting anything done at all.  
  
They had officially been dating for months now. They were still keeping things quiet, even though they thought their friends may not mind so much as they thought to start with. Remus did recall that conversation with Peter about fancying Sirius. But they were still unsure and were doing just fine with no one knowing. It was almost thrilling to have their little secret. They would sneak out at night and make out under the stars. Or Sirius would climb into his window and they would listen to music, smoke, talk, and cuddle. Er, okay, it wasn’t a total secret anymore because one person knew.  
  
Two weeks ago, Remus and Sirius were making out on the sofa in the sitting room of Remus’. Josefina had ended up coming home early and ended up walking in on them with their hands down one another’s pants. Instead of being angry about it, she crowed on about how she knew that Sirius liked him for a solid week. She promised not to mention it to anyone though, respecting their wishes. She did give a safe sex talk that turned both the boys a nice shade of red. Remus was positive she had done it just to make them uncomfortable.  
  
Also, they hadn’t had sex yet, really. They had done plenty of rutting and used their hands and mouths from time to time but Remus never felt like they had enough time to go all the way. He didn’t feel like rushing something so intimate and Sirius didn’t seem to complain about it much or even really care. Remus also didn’t want to push after Sirius told him he was a bit nervous about sex. He decided to let Sirius make those decisions in their relationship.  
  
“Sirius, we’re in the library.”  
  
“Yes, your church. Are you afraid to scandalize the books?” Sirius quirked an eyebrow.  
  
“Bugger off you lousy delinquent punk.”  
  
“You sounded British there. You’re hanging out with us too much.” Sirius grinned before leaning a little closer. “Come on, just a peck. I’ll shut up and even help you.”  
  
Remus snickered but gave into his boyfriend’s complaints. He always enjoyed kissing since he had his first one when he was thirteen but kissing Sirius was the best he ever had. Every time his kissed him, there was a surge through Remus’ body and it made him want to do it even more.  
  
When Remus pulled away he rolled his eyes like he was annoyed then turned back to his notebook. His eyes caught a figure standing near the stacks about five tables away from them. His heart skipped a beat when he realized it was Regulus, Sirius’ little brother. He was looking at them like he was watching them actually go at it on the table. Completely mortified.  
  
“Oh no. Reg!” Sirius jumped out of his seat. He look completely pale and his hands were shaking.  
  
Anyone with any relation Sirius were the absolute last people that they wanted to find out about them. Sirius probably would have rather the whole skateboard and snowboard world to find out first and risk his career. His parents would probably lock him away or send him to some terrible camp to get the gay out of him.  
  
Regulus looked at his brother for a moment then took off in a sprint. The younger boy was on the track and field team, he was good too. Sirius took off after him, leaving all of his things behind.  
  
“Fuck.” Remus whispered as he gathered their things. He didn’t know what to do so he did the only thing he could think of, run to the Potters where everyone was probably already hang around.  
  
He spent the entire distance thinking about how they were probably hurting Sirius and how he may never get to see him again. Thankfully, when he got to the Potter’s Josefina was already there because he could only think in Swedish, he was so overwhelmed with dread.  
  
“What’s wrong, Remus?” She was in the sitting room with Euphemia and Rachel. A second later Fleamont and Chris joined as well, they all looked very concerned as Remus dropped both of their bags.  
  
“Sirius,” Remus went on to tell Josefina what had happened in Swedish. “What should we do?” He asked after taking a deep breath, recovering from his explanation.  
  
“Tell them.” She said in English. “They won’t mind. I promise you, Remus.”  
  
He took a deep breath and looked around the room. Everyone there did care for him and Sirius and if Josefina was sure they wouldn’t be upset then it would be for the best. Maybe they could help Sirius. If he didn’t say anything, he ran the risk of Sirius being hurt or never seeing him again. “We… Sirius and I…”  
  
“It’s okay, darling, relax.” Euphemia assured him.  
  
“We’re dating and I — we kissed and we thought no one was there and… Regulus saw.”  
  
“Oh fuck.” Rachel breathed. Remus tried not to look surprised because he had never heard her swear before. She clearly knew what the Blacks would do to a gay son.  
  
“And Regulus took off running and Sirius went after him and I’m just afraid of what might happen. He was always so worried about what they’d say and now they know and…” Remus trailed off.  
  
Fleamont stood up and rushed over to put a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “You did the right thing telling us. I’m sure that wasn’t easy. I’m going over there.”  
  
“Tell them he’s to stay with us from now on.” Euphemia informed her husband. “Either that or we finally report it like we should have ages ago and we tell the press. I’m sick of this.”  
  
Remus felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest. “Remus, sit down, have some tea.” Euphemia instructed him as Fleamont and Chris left.  
  
“I thought it’d take longer.” Rachel said with a slight smile as Remus did as Euphemia had told him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You and Sirius, love.” She clarified. “You’d have to be a bit blind not to see you two were mad for each other, for some time now. We just thought that Sirius would have a hard time coming around to who he really was.”  
  
Remus bit his lip. “You really don’t care?”  
  
“No, we’re all very happy for you two.” Euphemia pressed a tea cup into his hands. “We’re just scared for Sirius right now but Fleamont will sort it, I promise.”  
  
“James won’t be angry, will he?” He asked Euphemia.  
  
“Why would I be angry?” James and Peter came into the room, carrying their skateboards.  
  
“Nothing, you need a shower before we sit down to eat. Peter you can use the other bathroom to wash up.” Euphemia shooed him off as both he and Peter were looking at Remus oddly.  
  
Once she was sure the boys were gone and the showers were running Euphemia joined them in the sitting room again. “James won’t be mad, darling. He loves Sirius like a brother and he cares about you nearly as much.” She assured him.  
  
Remus relaxed, hoping the Euphemia was right. By the time James came down again, Remus was only worried about Sirius.  
  
“Why’s Remus look all anxious? What’s happening? Where’s Pads, I thought you two were working on a lab report?” The younger Potter rambled off, taking a seat next to Remus on the sofa.  
  
“I think you should wait until Sirius gets here to explain everything, darling.” Rachel said when Peter joined them, he had basically asked the same things as James.  
  
“All you need to know right now is Sirius is going to be living with us for the foreseeable future.”  
  
“What happened?” James complained. “Is he okay?”  
  
“He’ll be fine. Your father and Chris went to get him.”  
  
There was some commotion at the front door and Fleamont was saying to just leave the bags and they’d sort things later. Soon Sirius was in the sitting room, throwing himself on to Remus’ lap without a word. Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck and almost on instinct, Remus’ hand tangled into Sirius’ hair.  
  
“Ha! You two are together! We knew it! Didn’t we, Pete?” James pointed at them and then hit Sirius in the shoulder. “Why are you staying with us? Can you tell me what’s going on?”  
  
“You didn’t tell them?” Sirius pulled back and Remus noticed the blossoming bruise under his eye.  
  
“Just outed you to the parents.”  
  
“You did the right thing, don’t look at me like that.” Sirius pouted.  
  
“Can you tell us what happened?” Peter complained.  
  
“Reggie saw us snogging—”  
  
“It was hardly a peck.”  
  
“And he freaked out and took off, told our parents before I could get to him, and well, they weren’t too happy. Then Fleamont and Chris came in like some knights in shinning armor and told my parents to go to hell and now I’m officially your brother and living here, now.”  
  
Both James and Pete nodded.  
  
“How long have you been, what, dating?” Peter questioned.  
  
“Ah, since June.” Sirius leaned back so his lower back was against the arm of the sofa but he was still on Remus lap.  
  
“June!? You’ve been dating for four months and you couldn’t tell us?” James yelled and waved his arms around him.  
  
“You could have told us, you poncy bastards.”  
  
“Peter!” Rachel scolded and Peter’s cheeks went a little pink.  
  
“You don’t think we’re like, gross or anything?” Sirius asked James, who just made a face.  
  
“Why would I think that? You make each other happy. Has anyone else caught you? Are they giving you a hard time? I’ll punch their lights out if they are.” James rattled off.  
  
“No, Prongs, no one is giving us a hard time.” Sirius said with a tight smile.  
  
Remus’ hand moved up Sirius back until he felt the other boy stiffen. Under his hand the black shirt was wet and hot, Remus felt like he was about to throw up.  
  
“Remus, are you okay?”  
  
“Nothing…” He moved his hand. “Padfoot, can you get off of me? I’d like to use the loo.”  
  
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Sirius said, not meeting his eye.  
  
Remus went to the bathroom, just to put some water on his face to take a few deep breaths. He realized that he could have lost Sirius there and then. His family was so bloody rich and horrible they probably could have killed him and then said nothing. Remus felt something sharp in his chest then he couldn’t breathe properly. He was all hot and sweaty. He slid down the wall next to the sink and buried his face in his hands, trying to relax. He wasn’t sure how long he was there until there was a hard knock on the door.  
  
“Re, are you okay?” Sirius asked softly from the other side. He turned the handle. “I’m coming in because I’m worried and you’re not answering me.”  
  
Remus rubbed his hands over his eyes as Sirius slipped in and shut the door behind him.  
  
“I was sent to see what was wrong.” Sirius sat down in front of him. “Are you having an anxiety attack? You said you had those sometimes.”  
  
The Swede struggled to take a deep breath then nodded. “Your back. You need someone to look at it.”  
  
“I can’t go to hospital. They’re lashes, it’s not like I can pass it off as something else.”  
  
Remus cringed, thinking that Sirius had to do that before. “What about Rachel, she’s a veterinarian? She could probably do something.”  
  
“Okay.” Sirius sighed. “You don’t have to panic though, it’s not going to happen again. I’m safe now, thanks to you.”  
  
Remus gave him a watery smile before reaching out and carefully wrapping his arms around Sirius’ shoulders. They sat there for a few minutes before Sirius spoke again. “Come on, I’ll get Rachel to help me if you’re all right now.”  
  
“Yeah, let’s go.”  
  
Remus followed Sirius out and held Sirius’ hand as he told the others what had really happened, no sugar coating. Rachel went and got some supplies to clean the two lashes on Sirius’ back. Luckily he didn’t need stitches but he needed to care for them daily. She showed Euphemia and Fleamont how to do it incase she wasn’t able to help.  
  
After, they finally settled down for food, the best Indian fare outside of the country itself. Mrs Potter was a magician in the kitchen, Remus still swore. Things were surprisingly light. James and Peter complained about not knowing about their relationship until then. Josefina shared the embarrassing way that she found out, making the two boys feel better they didn’t discover their relationship that way.  
  
Once they finished dinner and the most delicious cake he had ever had, Josefina said it was time to go home because of how mentally exhausting the day turned out to be. Sirius stole a kiss before Remus left and walked the short distance from the Potter’s house to Josefina’s. He immediately went up to his room and pulled out his phone to text Sirius.  
  
 _I’m glad you’re safe_  
  
 _I know it’s stupid but I was scared_  
  
 _I can’t lose someone else_  
  
 **I’m glad I’m safe 2… ur not losing me**  
  
 **I swear, Remus & ur not stupid**  
  
 _Tomorrow, let’s spend the day together. Just the 2 of us?_  
  
 **R u asking me on a date?**  
  
 _Yes, duh_  
  
 **I’ll be there ; )**

***

Life free from the horrors of his home was good. It was strange but good. Sirius had the Potters, Remus, Josefina, and the Pettigrews. It was better to have this strange mix of people than his blood relations. As happy as he was, he felt something deep in him give. It was like he had no more hope for his family. There was always hope in the back of his mind that they’d turn around and tell him they were sorry and that they loved him. But he was gladly disposed of on to the Potters and taken off the family register. There was a rumor that he was burned off of the family tapestry in the entryway of the house. It wouldn’t surprise him because his mother did that to Andi and Uncle Al when they were both booted. It still hurt though, he didn’t really want to tell Remus though. Or anyone else for that matter because he was sure that they would think he was crazy for him to miss that household in anyway.  
  
Sirius made probably one of the most reckless decision of his life on his seventeenth birthday. He had been drinking with the Marauders at the skatepark when he decided it would be brilliant to steal his parent’s Aston  Martin and take it for a spin. Surprisingly everyone thought it be a brilliant idea. He thought at least Remus would talk them down from it but he figured Remus wanted to get at the Blacks in any possible way. So, that was how they ended up in Sirius’ father’s stupidly expensive car, driving around Brackenwoods and drinking.  
  
Oddly, this all led to Remus Lupin finally getting a nickname. “Someone, moon that car that following us.” Sirius pointed to the review mirror. “I don’t like the looks of ‘em.”  
  
To the shock and awe of everyone in the car, Remus John Lupin dropped his trousers and mooned the car. They were all too busy laughing for a minute to realize that the bright blue lights were flashing from the top of the car behind them.  
  
“Fuck, fuck.” Remus slid down into his seat. “That’s a fucking cop!” He yelled before spouting off some Swedish.  
  
“Shite.”  
  
In no surprise the boys ended up sitting in a jail cell. Remus looked absolutely miserable, pouting like he was ashamed of himself. James, Peter, and Sirius were all laughing and having a good time. It was like they spent every Friday night in jail.   
  
“Moony. That’s your nickname. You fucking mooned a police car.” Sirius leaned into him with a grin.  
  
Remus swore at him in Swedish. “No. I will not have my nickname be from that. I’m such an idiot, why did I do as you asked? Why didn’t I tell you that getting in a car while drinking was not good? My parents died in a car accident for Christ’s sake.” Remus shouted, drawing the attention from the officers and everyone else that could hear. “I’m so fucking stupid. I hate you all.”  
  
Sirius frowned, feeling like an arsehole but at the same time he wanted to tell Remus that no one forced him into it.  
  
An hour later Walburga, Orion, Josefina, Chris, and Fleamont were all standing in the station arguing with one another. Well, they were all arguing with the Black’s. Sirius was starting to worry that he would end up going home with his parents. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. His parents didn’t press any charges, they didn’t want to hear about this in any media and threaten the arresting officers if it got out they’d sue. They left before the boys were even let out of their cell.  
  
The three adults left all gave variations of the same, “that was stupid, why would you do that, you can’t be so reckless” speech. Sirius found out that he and James would be grounded with no phone or computer for two weeks. Euphemia added that he shouldn’t even think about seeing Remus outside of school.  
  
On Sunday, he couldn’t take anymore time from being away with Remus. He also needed to talk to him, to make sure he didn’t actually hate them for pulling him along in taking the car. So, well after dinner, he snuck out and made his way to Remus’. He climbed up the vines and knocked on the window. Remus was sitting on his bed, drawing, it looked like. Sirius could hear muffled music through the window.  
  
His boyfriend didn’t look surprised to find him at his window. Remus set his pencil down and opened the window for Sirius to climb through. “Thought you weren’t allowed out and to see me. Only for school.” He echoed Euphemia’s words.  
  
“I wanted to make sure you weren’t angry.” Sirius put his hands on Remus’ slim waist.  
  
“No, I’m sorry I was an ass the other night. I was more angry with myself for letting me get into that situation. I just… I wanted you to be happy.”  
  
Sirius cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”  
  
“You’ve been down since you left your house.”  
  
“I — no, that’s daft. Why would I care about them?”  
  
Remus shrugged. “They’re your family. They’re terrible people but you still have some attachment to them, right?”  
  
“I just always thought one day they would love me.” Sirius felt tears welling up in his eyes and he cursed himself. “This is so stupid.”  
  
“It’s okay, Sirius. What ever your feelings, they’re valid. No mater what, I’m here for you.” Remus put his arms around Sirius, hugging him tight. “You don’t deserve to be hurt by them though.”  
  
“I know.” Sirius let himself be held by Remus for awhile, until he calmed down enough to talk again. “It’s not that I want to go back there, I’m so happy at the Potters. I just… I don’t even know how to describe it.”  
  
“You don’t have to, it’s okay.” Remus ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair.  
  
“Can you plait my hair?” He always felt good when Remus would play with his hair.  
  
Remus grinned and pulled him over to the bed. Sirius sat down on the bed, right in front of the pad the Remus had been drawing on. The Swede was always doodling. He had graffitied most of the ramps at the skatepark in various designs, as well as random things James had said pertaining to the Marauders and their mischief like “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” and “mischief managed”. But what he found on the sketch pad in front of him was a little more detailed than anything he’d seen before. It was an outline of a moon and a lake in the space between those, were an outline of a wolf, a dog, a stag, and a rat. “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.” Remus explained.  
  
“This is brilliant, Remus! Can I keep it? One day, I want to put it on my boards.”  
  
“Really? It’s just stupid. I was screwing around. You know, my name legit means Werewolf Mcwerewolf, I don’t know why you didn’t come up with Moony from that.”  
  
“We’re not all as brilliant as you.” Sirius turned his head a little so he could capture Remus’ lips with his own. “You know, I can think of other things to do than plaiting that will make me feel better?”  
  
“Oh yeah? Hopefully Josie doesn’t catch us.”  
  
“Won’t be the first or last time that happens.” Sirius snickered, slipping his hands under the hem of Remus’ shirt.  
  
“I’m worried about you getting in trouble.”  
  
“We’re star crossed lovers, my darling.” Sirius gave his boyfriend a crooked smile.  
  
“You’re such a loser.”  
  
“You love it.”  
  
“I do.” Remus knocked him on to his back and straddled him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius gets some news, Remus is a trophy husband, Sirius get an offer, Remus takes that last bit of virginity, and they say goodbye for the time being.

Being ‘out’ with Remus wasn’t really any different from being in the closet, Sirius thought. It wasn’t like they were going to make out in front of their friends all the time. It was nice that they could hold hands while walking home some times or cuddle when they watched a movie. James and Peter enjoyed making fun of them whenever they would do something coupley but it wasn’t malicious in anyway. Sirius swore he was going got get back at them whenever they finally got a significant other. Remus would joke along that it would probably never happen for either.

They still snuck out at night to hook up under the stars near the skatepark. Sirius spent a lot of time sneaking into Remus’ room at night and then getting back to the Potter’s before they woke in the morning. It happened so often that Sirius started to hate sleeping alone. He was also left wondering if Josefina or the Potters knew that Sirius was constantly over Remus’. If they did know, they never said a word of it to either of them. Sirius knew Remus was glad because he would get embarrassed, even though most of the time it was completely innocent. They just enjoyed falling falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Being with Remus made him feel so safe and content. Remus had said something along the same to him before when he was having a bad night. It was like they were two halves of a whole. Sirius wasn’t sure how he’d function without him now and he didn’t know when that happened. Their relationship was so easy and loving. The only thing that had changed from being friends to being a couple was the snogging and getting off with one another. He wondered what he had done to deserve to be with Remus. He wasn’t even sure that he deserved to be with Remus. If that were true, he would just have to enjoy every bit of their relationship of they possibly could.

“Dude, that looks bad.” James said, walking backwards as Remus gave Sirius a piggyback to the Potter’s.

“It’s just a scrapped knee and hand. Nothing we haven’t dealt with before.” Sirius rolled his eyes at the concern.

Sirius had wiped out while doing a heel flip over the stairs. Remus had been watching from the side, as he normally did, and almost stumbled over himself to get to Sirius. There was a lot of blood but he was sure that he didn’t do any permanent damage to his knee or hand.

“I’m okay.” Sirius said, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder as they approached the Potter’s. “I just need to clean it up.”

“At least you didn’t hurt your wrist again.” Peter struggled to carry both the skateboards that he was holding. “Or break a leg.”

“Wormtail, do not jinx me. We have competition season coming up. Fucking hell.” Sirius complained to his friend as they walked up the Potter’s front porch. He was sure that Remus would be thankful that they were home because he was probably getting a bit heavy.

Remus brought him to the kitchen so he could sit on a stool at the breakfast bar while James went off to get the supplies to clean his wounds.

Sirius was surprised to see his cousin Andromeda and her husband Ted sitting with Mrs Potter at the kitchen table. “Andi, what are you doing here?” Sirius asked once Remus set him down.

“Oh my god, Sirius, what happened?” Euphemia shot up from her chair and came over to him to inspect his wounds.

“He went hurtling down the stairs on that flying piece of wooden death and disaster.” Remus said in a dry tone as Andi and Ted came over to him.

“So dramatic.” Sirius tsked at his boyfriend. “Jamie’s off to get the supplies to fix me. Can I get an answer why my favorite cousin is here?” He looked at the brunette with an eyebrow cocked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

“Well, Uncle Al passed away.” Andi frowned.

“Ah, bugger. I just got a letter from him the other week, inviting me up to Scotland to visit this summer.” His Uncle Al had been disinherited and kicked out of the family because he was gay as well. Sirius had written him after his incident and he offered some kind words and advice to keep his chin up and be with people who truly cared for him. He also offered Sirius a place to stay if he needed it.

“It was sudden, stroke.” Andi said. “But he left you something, that’s the main reason I came to find you. I happen to be the executor of his will.” She explained as James came into the kitchen.

James’ mom explained why they had guests as Andi went to her bag to get an envelope.

“Remus can you read this?” Sirius held out the envelope. He was having a hard time opening with one hand and Mrs Potter was coming at him with antiseptic and bandages now.

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’re a new friend, aren’t you? We haven’t properly met. Sirius, you’re terrible at introductions.”

“Sorry, I always forget Moony hasn’t been around forever. Er, Remus this is Andi, my favorite cousin that I’ve mentioned and this is her husband, Ted. Andi and Ted, this is Remus, my boyfriend.” Sirius beamed and Remus flushed a little.

“Ah, you’re the bloke that made Walburga’s head nearly pop off.” Ted shook Remus’ hand.

“That’s according to Cissy by the by. She’s the one that told me you were here.” Andi explained as Remus went to open the letter.

“You’re still talking to Cissy?”

“None of the family knows. I think she has the potential of not being so bad but I don’t really have so much hope.”

“She’s dating bloody Malfoy.” Sirius felt his angry flare. “Him and his mates jumped Re the other year.”

Andi groaned. “Christ, our family…”

“Um, do you want me to read this?” Remus held up the now free paper.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Sirius hissed as Euphemia cleaned the wound on his hand.

“Dear Sirius, I apologize that my sister does not truly see you for the fantastic person that you are. Who you love does not make you a bad person. It is who you are inside that makes you a good person and sadly most of the Blacks are not good people. Somehow Andromeda, you, and myself have been able to escape the madness that is the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. I understand that your true desire is to be an Olympic snowboard champion and I’d like to support your dream. I am leaving you 75% of my estate. I hope that Andi does not see the 25% as a slight to her and her family but she has the full support of the Tonks behind her while at the moment you are alone and I know that you do not wish to put an imposition on the Potter’s. I hope this amount is able to let you become independent and also achieve your dreams. Do what you love. Love who you love. Find your true happiness. Your Uncle Al”

Sirius wasn’t sure if the tears in his eyes were from the pain in his hand and knees or the words from his now, late uncle. “How — what…”

“To put it plainly, you’re pretty freaking rich.” Andi said with a grin. “I also don’t see it as a slight because 25% is still a lot. Sirius, you can live how you want.” She produced a file and started reading off numbers, making his head spin. He was rich, without his parents’ money. His Uncle was big into Tech stuff and made lots of money out on his own.

After sorting all the legal things, like Andi being in charge of the account until he was 18 because he didn’t want the Blacks to be able to touch it, they all sat down for tea. Well, Peter didn’t join because he was wanted at home.

Following their meal, Andi and Ted headed home to relieve their babysitter. Sirius, James, and Remus worked on some homework together with the telly on in the background. Soon, it was almost Remus’ curfew for a school night so Sirius walked him home. It was just an excuse for them to hold hands and then snuggle a little, alone, on the porch of Josefina’s house.

“I’m dating you for your money now, you know?” Remus said, running his fingers through his hair. Sirius was leaning against the bannister of the porch and Remus had his arms wrapped around him with his face against his shoulder.

“Ah, I’ve always wanted to a trophy husband.”

“You’ve got one now!” Remus snickered. “Really though, you’re free to do what you want now. Are you going to go do it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve talked about leaving school to go travel and such for more competitions. Maybe you should. If you’re sure that this is what you want to do with your life then you should go do it.”

“You’re advocating for me to quit school?” Sirius said in a shocked tone. Remus was very serious about his education and always wanted his friends to do well also.

“No, I just want you to be happy. I think that if you get a lot of attention now for what you’re doing, then maybe you should go after it and maybe just finish school online or via a tutor or later. I don’t know.”

“I’ll finish this year and see where the summer leads me.”

“That’s a good plan.”

“It is, it is. But I have more immediate plans like sticking my tongue in your mouth and groping you a bit before Josie comes out here and throws water on us.”

Remus chuckled, “That happened once."

***

“Last but not least but this bloke put on a clinic today. He smoked everyone in his path and had all of our judges on the edges of their seats. The winner of not only best original trick, best overall performance in the tournament, and highest score ever recorded at this event but he also gets a sponsorship from Umbros is Sirius Black!”

Remus screamed so loud, he was sure that Sirius could hear him through the crowd. He couldn’t have been prouder of his boyfriend. James and Peter were next to him absolutely losing their minds. They were grabbing each other’s shoulders and shaking one another. Sirius himself was beaming and jumping up and down like an over excited child. This was Sirius’ first sponsorship from something that wasn’t local or just plain unknown. This could lead to many Big Things for Sirius.

James, Peter, and Remus waited very impatiently for their friend as the crowd filed out. Sirius was chatting with someone from Umbros, who was handing him a few bags.

Remus noticed a woman, who couldn’t have been much older than them lingering near by. She was short, looked to be of Asian descent, and had straight black hair with highlights of purple and pink. She talking animatedly on her mobile phone. She was occasionally glanced over to them and smiled but most of her focus was on Sirius. He didn’t have to wonder long who she was or what she wanted because Sirius was bounding over to them.

His boyfriend jumped the barricade and threw himself at Remus, wrapping his legs around him. “I’d kiss you right now but I’m probably being a bit too much with you right here.” Sirius said in his ear.

“I’m so proud of you, love.” Remus hugged him tight before Sirius detached himself from him to get attacked by James and Peter. As that was happening the woman was walking over to the boys, off the phone now.

“Hi-ya. I don’t mean to interrupt the celebration but I was thinking maybe I could give you something else to celebrate about.” The woman said as James and Peter finally dropped Sirius. “I’m Hestia, I work for Global Sports Management.” She handed Sirius a black business card, which he looked at curiously. “Do you have a manger, Sirius?”

“No.” He shook his head.

“Well, my team would like to sign you. If you come on with us I can have you in tournaments all over the world and hopefully in the X Games this summer. I know you also do snowboarding, I’m sure we can get you into the Winter X Games. Actually, it’s your skill that will get you in and you have that in bunches. You’d give Shaun White a run for his money. I’ve seen your videos online and witnessed you at a few tournaments myself and a colleague saw you down in France this past winter. I don’t know how you’re not already represented and I’m not just saying that to boast your ego.”

“Oh, he doesn’t need his ego boasted anymore.” James gave Sirius a punch in the arm.

Sirius meanwhile, looked like he was about to pass out from shock.

“If you let me represent you, I can have you out there this summer. I just need an answer within three days to meet deadlines of sign-ups and such.” She smiled.

“Ah, I don’t know what to say.” Sirius’ brow knitted in thought.

“He’s going to say yes.” Remus said without much thought. This was Sirius’ dream.

“Why don’t you go take a look at the firm online, talk to your family, and we’ll go from there? I just need the answer as soon as you can get it to make sure that I can get you into all the competitions I think you should be in.”

“Okay, ah, thank you Hestia.” Sirius shook her hand. She congratulated him on the win and then took off.

They all talked excitedly about what this would mean for Sirius and his career as they made their way back to Brackenwoods. Remus could tell that Sirius was hesitant about it though. He couldn’t understand why because this was what Sirius had been working for since before Remus had even come to England.

When they got back, Sirius and Remus went back to Josefina’s for some time alone because she was at a charity event all night. Remus let Sirius use his computer to look into Global Sports Management. He spent about an hour online, reading off random facts to Remus, like who the represented and what sponsorships their athletes got. After the research Sirius joined Remus, who was sitting on his bed drawing.

“Are you okay? I thought you’d be more excited?” Remus set his book and pencil aside.

Sirius didn’t say anything until he was sitting between Remus’ legs. “I’m nervous. I… this is what I want, god I want it so much but it’s just surreal and I’m going to have to be away from you a lot.”

Remus frowned, “You can’t have me hold you back. I’ll be there when I can, it’s not like you’re going to get rid of me.” Remus leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his nose. “We’re young and have a lot of life ahead of us, don’t we? We both have different dreams, we just sort of have to hope that we end up in the same place eventually.”

Sirius rubbed his eyes. “You’re the best thing to happen to me Remus, really. I — fuck, I don’t even have the words. Everything about you is perfect and I don’t think I should be the one to have you sometimes.”

“You’re ridiculous and wonderful and I don’t have any words for you right now to describe you and how much you mean to me.” Remus cupped Sirius’ cheek. “You need to pursue your dreams because as important I am to you, you’d hate me for holding you back. I’ll be right there with you whenever you need me.”

Sirius grinned before leaning forward to kiss him. The kiss was one of purpose and Remus wasn’t surprised by it, really. “We’re alone, aren’t we? For a good part of the night.” Sirius’ hands curled around the front of Remus’ shirt.

“We are.”

“I want you, so bad, I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to have you in me. Please, Moons, I want to lose that last bit of virginity.”

“If you want that, yes, yeah, I — obviously I want to.” Remus slotted their lips together again and gave him the hungriest of kisses.

They did everything they had done before but it seemed like there was more purpose to it all. Remus knew that they were placing a lot on something so small and almost meaningless. He had gone so far before with Erik and Marcus but this felt so different. There was no terrified nervousness as there had been with Erik and it was not all teenaged hormone, lust like it was with Marcus. This was love, Remus concluded and that did terrify him a bit. Just in a good way.

“Are you okay?” Remus was shaking, trying not to sink any deeper into Sirius. He had to be sure that Sirius was okay before he could move again. He could barely catch his breath, he felt like he needed to stop for himself as well.

“I’m fine, Remus. You fingered me for like an hour and there’s so much lube I’m going to be slick for days. The bed’s going to be a mess.” Sirius wrapped his legs around his waist, urging him to go deeper.

“Stop complaining when I’m inside of you.” Remus tried his best to sound like he was scolding but he knew it didn’t sound anything close to it.

Sirius smirked at him before pulling him down for a kiss.

Later they were laying in bed sweaty and sticky. Remus was about to fall off to sleep when Sirius poked him in the ribs. “Moony, thank you.”

“Mmm, what for?”

“That and you and just, I don’t know, existing.”

Remus let out a snort before nuzzling Sirius’ neck. “You can’t stay too late, the Potter’s—”

“I know, just let me be here a little longer.”

“I’m not complaining. The last thing I’d do.”

“Mmm.”

The next day Sirius contacted Hestia and the two days after that he was signing papers with GSM and Andi, who signed on as his lawyer. Only four days after that, Sirius was off to the States to participate in competitions in Austin and then LA. He was going to be leaving the last month of school behind without care because he was finally getting what he wanted.

“I’m going to miss you, you know?” Sirius asked as they walked to the front door of Remus’. James was blaring the horn of his car. “Are you sure you won’t come to the airport with me?”

“It’s probably better I say goodbye here.” Remus said as they walked through the kitchen, where Josefina was working.

“Sirius stayed over, did he?” Josefina asked in Swedish, eyebrow raised.

Remus felt himself blush.

“In any case, I’m going to miss you around here all the time, Sirius.” Josefina stood up. “I wish you the best of luck. The first big event you are in, we’ll all be there.”

“I’ll miss you too Josie. Thanks for everything and not complaining that I’m always with Remus.” Sirius hugged her and Josie returned the embrace.

“Nonsense, you make one another happy. That’s important, especially with what you both have gone through.” Josefina gave him one more squeeze before letting him go. “You’re also a pleasure to have around here, darling.”

Sirius smiled when he pulled away from her.

“If you ever need a thing I will be there as soon as I can.” She grinned at him. “Now, off you go because James is going to wake the dead if he keeps on that horn.”

Remus snickered, grabbing Sirius hand and pulling him towards the door. When the got outside they could see James driving and Euphemia and Fleamont telling him to stop with the honking. Peter was cracking up.

“So…” Sirius frowned.

“So…”

“I feel like I’m shipping off to war.”

“Well, I would say this is less life threatening than war but you’re always getting hurt.” Remus laughed.

“Yeah.” Sirius moved so he could rest his head on Remus’ shoulder. “Are you sure you can’t come?”

“I rather not cry in front of an entire airport.”

“Don’t cry, Moons, I’m just a phone call away.”

“I know… I… I don’t do well with people leaving. I don’t like goodbyes.”

Sirius nodded, letting the silence hang instead of voicing that the reason for this had to do with the unexpected death of his parents.

“If you hate it out there, you can come home and go back to school. Don’t be worried about thinking you’re a failure. I doubt it will happen because you’re so good and you love it so much but, I — I just wanted to put it out there.” Remus hugged him tight, savoring every last moment that he could.

“Remus — I — I… I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll come see you this summer, whenever I can.”

“Good.”

With that Remus pulled back to press a long, sweet, goodbye kiss to Sirius’ lips.

When they broke apart there was a chorus of “awws” from the street. Remus looked over to see the Potters and Peter hanging out their windows and the girls were on the pavement in front of the house. Lily, Em, Marlene, and Mary all walked up the path, assuming their moment was now over.

All the girls wished Sirius the best, giving him a few gifts before they finally sent him on his way. Remus got one more quick kiss before they finally said goodbye and he was off. Remus stood with the girls and watched the Potter’s car set off down the street.

“Come on, let’s have a cuppa.” Lily put her arm around Remus’ back.

Remus agreed and they headed inside for tea and biscuits. He listened to the girls chatter about various things and twenty minutes later he got text from Sirius.

**I’m @ the airport… miss u already**

_Miss you too <3_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm about done with writing this! I'll probably be posting a chapter a day or possibly more until I'm done. My new semester starts in about a week so I'd really like to be done before that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is a prodigy, the Marauders support their friend, Sirius wins some things, Josie is set up, James asks Lily out finally, Remus gets something else pierced, and there’s a surprise.

_Sirius Black is the new prodigy of the skateboard world. After being discovered in London this past spring, he has blossomed into a well-known phenom in just months time. The videos on his Youtube page, shot by friends back in England, have spiked in popularity. He’s charming, good looking, and extremely talented. He’s being called England’s answer to Shaun White._  
  
 _Not only is Black talented on a skateboard, he’s aiming to reach the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver for snowboarding. “I’ve always wanted to win a gold in the Olympics.” Black told me, his grey eyes shining bright at the idea of his future. “As much as I love skateboarding, I love snowboarding more. I really feel at home on the slopes.”_  
  
 _Black dropped out of school, forgoing his final year. He said there is possibility of him getting a tutor and for him to sit for A-Levels but his career is at the forefront. One has to wonder what has pushed this young man to become great. Sirius didn’t offer any sort of reasons other than his love of sport. I did find out through some investigation that he was an emancipated minor but the case documents were sealed. We can only speculate on the reasons for that._  
  
 _Whatever his motivation, he has come out of nowhere to compete in the Summer X Games in Los Angles this coming August. What caught the eye of the selection committee is a move which he calls The Marauder. It’s a complicated and something I haven’t seen done. He won’t even tell me what it is. The video was sent straight to the committee and he will unveil it to the public in the Street competition at the Games. He also is competing in Vert and Big Air at the event._  
  
Sirius set aside the magazine, not wanting to read anything Skeeter had said about his chances of medaling. Instead of reading what Hestia given him on his way out, he went back to pacing the area in front of customs. Sirius was waiting for The Lupins, Potters, and Pettigrews to all come streaming through the doors at LAX. They were far more important than what some person had to say about his prospects and they should be coming out of those big doors any moment now.  
  
He had spent three months traveling the to wherever Hestia told him to go, competing in tournament after tournament. As much as Sirius was enjoying it, he was missing everyone in his life back home. At least he was able to video chat with some of them. He was constantly texting Remus, he could barely look at his phone bill every month and he offered to pay Remus’ but Josefina wouldn’t hear of it. Even though he was constantly in touch with Remus, he wasn’t with him or his friends. He missed the stupid day to day stuff. But he took some solace in the fact that the three boys were all going to take a gap year to spend time with Sirius.  
  
“Padfoot!” Sirius heard James before he saw him and everyone coming out from the doors.  
  
“If it’s not the skateboarding prodigy, Sirius Black!” Peter shouted and Sirius punched him in the arm   
  
“Now I can’t snog Remus here, thanks you wanker.” Sirius hissed at his friend before throwing himself at Remus, who picked him up in a hug. “Bloody hell, Moons, you’re getting taller.”  
  
“Maybe you’re getting shorter.” Remus’ lips ghosted over his ear before he was set down.  
  
It was taking everything in Sirius to not grab his boyfriend’s face and snog him senseless but he had been getting noticed lately. He couldn’t risk it. There was a talk with someone in GSM that warned him about his sexuality. It had come up after someone overheard Sirius on the phone with Remus sounding sappy. As he thought, being gay was Not Good for sponsors and if he wanted to make it anywhere, he would have to stay in the closet. Sirius hated it because Remus Lupin was the most wonderful creature on the face of the planet and Al told him to love who he loved and do what made him happy. It was a bit complicated that those two thing apparently didn’t go together under these circumstances.  
  
Remus set Sirius down and soon he was being hugged and kissed by the parents and Josie. “Come on, let’s go. Hestia ordered something called a party bus for us. It’s just a bus but limo like and not bus like. Come on.”  
  
Sirius led them all out to where the small white bus was waiting. They all climbed aboard and Sirius took a seat in Remus’ lap, out of the sight of the drive. Remus’ arms were around him again in an instant and their fingers intertwined. He still didn’t kiss him though because he really didn’t want to share that moment with everyone else in the car. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t kissing him because just being close to him was enough. Their relationship started with cuddles, it was just right to be back in his arms.  
  
Instead of going to the room he was supposed to be sharing with James and Peter, Remus ended up bringing his bags to Sirius’. He was glad that none of the adults said a word or even batted an eyelash at it because all he wanted was Remus in his bed. They probably assumed it was going to happen no matter what they did and they were both nearly adults anyway.   
  
Once the door closed behind them, Remus pinned him against the wall and kissed him with everything he had. “Fuck, I missed you so much. Phone sex is so boring because I can’t actually kiss and touch you, no matter how much I imagine.” Remus’ hands went to pull off Sirius’ shirt.  
  
“I know, I feel the same way.” Sirius said, pulling Remus towards the bed. “How much time do we have before we have to meet the rest for dinner?”  
  
“Mmm, about two hours.” Remus squinted at the clock above the telly.  
  
“That’s more than enough time to work out some of this sexual frustration we both have?”  
  
“Oh, I should think so. I’ll take it easy on you, seeing you’re going to be competing in some big competition in two days time.” Remus smiled as Sirius unbuttoned his jeans.  
  
“Cheeky bastard, come on and fuck me.”  
  
Thirty minutes later they were both satisfied, for the time being at least. Sirius was drifting off to sleep in Remus’ arms. It was perfect.  
  
Two days after they reunited, Sirius was up early, ready to get to the arena to go into the Street competition. Remus was still asleep in his bed after he got out of the shower. He wondered if this was what it would be like to have Remus there with him everyday, all the time. He couldn’t wait for him to be finished with his last year of school so they could do this all the time. But Sirius was worried about what would happened when Remus inevitably went back to school. It was so hard to be separate. He hoped that three or more years of being apart wouldn’t put too much strain on them but it was a lot…  
  
“Mmm, early, it’s too early.” Remus mumbled as Sirius sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on.  
  
“Hush, back to sleep. I’ve got to go over early. I’ll see you there.”  
  
“You’re going to crush them all.”  
  
“Do you know, people think Brits don’t skateboard? To be fair, we’re not well represented on the international scale. They gape even more when they find out a snowboard. ‘You don’t have proper mountains in England, do you’, if I hear that one more time…”  
  
Remus chuckled and sat up, resting his chin on Sirius shoulder. “I’m sure they’re all surprised at how wonderful you are.”  
  
“They are.”  
  
“So modest.”  
  
“Why should I be when I’m bloody fantastic?”  
  
“It’s not attractive, that’s what I hear.”  
  
“You seem to be very attracted to me.”  
  
“A little, I guess.” Remus pressed a kiss to his neck. “Win some medals for me.”  
  
“Of course, every medal I win will be for you. Always.”  
  
“Always, huh?”  
  
“Yep.” Sirius popped the ‘p’. “Snog me so I have luck before going into this. Even though your breath stinks.”  
  
“Are you nervous?” Remus asked before his kissed him.  
  
“Mmm, a little”  
  
“Don’t be, we’re all here for you. Plus, you’re bloody fantastic, remember?”  
  
Sirius grinned before Remus’ lips were on his again.  
  
In the end Sirius won Best Street Trick with The Marauder, Gold in Street, Bronze in Big Air, and Silver in Vert. The best part of it all was that he knew Remus and the rest of the people that meant something to him were in the stands watching and then after they all got to celebrate together.   
  
“I’m so proud of you.” Remus whispered in his ear that night as they drifted off to sleep. He was sure he had never been happier.

***

“I’m telling you Josie, Richard is fantastic.” Euphemia was trying to sell Josefina on a guy. They had been trying to set her up with someone from Fleamont’s company for ages. Remus knew she wanted to go on the date but she worried that she’d be betraying Nick.  
  
“You know, Nick would have wanted you happy.” Remus said before finishing his curry.  
  
Josie sighed and nodded. “Okay, how about this… I will go out with him if James will ask Lily Evans on a date.”  
  
At that James went bright red. “Josie, I don’t know what this has to do with me.” He whinged.  
  
Fleamont threw his head back in a laugh. “I like that. I’m so sick of seeing him looking so sad.”  
  
“She hates me, she’ll say no!”  
  
“He’s never even asked her out.” Peter said.  
  
“Remus, dear, what do you think?” Rachel asked.  
  
“I hate everyone who is in a happy relationship with their mate close by. I’m not encouraging anyone.” Remus said, mostly joking. He missed Sirius so much. He spent a lot time thinking about Sirius and what he was doing. They traded messages all day. At the end of every day, whatever time it was, Sirius made sure he was available for Remus to call. They told each other about their days or what Sirius still has planned for the day. From what he got though, Sirius didn’t really have much free time and when he did, he spent it at a hotel or trying to explore whatever city he was in. Sirius told him that he didn’t enjoy exploring without Remus, Peter, and James.  
  
Thankfully he was going to be coming home soon to spend his birthday with his friends before starting to focus on snowboarding. “No, but really, I’ve told James a hundred times to ask Lily out. I think that she’d actually be willing.”  
  
“She thinks I’m an arrogant toe rag.”  
  
“Actually, she told me that she thought you were, according to her, quite fit.”  
  
James flushed and put a hand on his cheek.  
  
“She threatened to cut my tongue out if I told you. So, please don’t tell her I said anything.” As much as he loved Lily and thought she was sweet, kind, and loving… she had a quick fire temper that was a bit scary. She had seen her take out her anger on Sirius in a succession of pranks that shamed the Marauders on their best days. Remus wanted to stay on her good side as much as humanly possible.  
  
“Would you like us to hold your hand?” Peter asked.  
  
“She might get the wrong idea.” Remus deadpanned.  
  
“Tomorrow, I’ll talk to her. If she murders me then make sure Sirius give a good eulogy, Moony.”  
  
Remus rolled his eyes. “I’ll relay the message.”  
  
“Is this the first time all day you’re not attached to your mobile?” Josie said with a laugh. “How is he doing today?”  
  
“Good, he’s looking forward to coming home.”  
  
“I know you all are going to get together for his birthday but we’d like to do something for him too. So, let me know when you’ll be having your own party.” Euphemia said. “Did you see the new article on him in ESPN? It’s only small but everyone is so impressed with him, rightly so.”  
  
“I’d like to paste to the Black’s front door.”  
  
“Oh, I like that idea.” James said under his breath.  
  
“No more destruction of property.” Fleamont admonished his son.  
  
“I won’t.” James sighed.  
  
“He has to impress Lily, he’ll be on his best behavior.” Remus reminded the table and James went pink again.  
  
The next day the three Marauders were at the skatepark and the girls showed up, all looking in a good mood. Remus texted Sirius to tell him what was happening as James took a few deep breaths. When the boy finally got the courage to approach Lily, who was standing under her usual tree Remus’ phone rang with Sirius’ ringtone (“Love Song” by The Cure because it was just emo enough for Sirius and spoke a little to their long distance).  
  
“He’s actually doing it?” Sirius asked excitedly.  
  
“Yes! He’s now walking over to her.”  
  
“Set the scene.”  
  
“Okay, she’s wearing a blue jumper with a nice green jacket and jeans. Her hair’s up in a high pony tail. She standing with the other girls under the tree, they just got here. James’ hair is a mess, per usual. He’s wearing that Umbros shirt you gave him — the white one with the black collar  — and he has on his best jeans and trainers. He’s also carrying his board. He’s trying to look nonchalant but he’s clearly nervous.”  
  
“A wreck, I’m sure.” Sirius said as if he was enjoying his best friends’ pain.  
  
“Here he goes… he’s talking a lot with his hands.”  
  
“Of course he is, always rambling on and talking with his hands. Hopefully he doesn’t accidentally hit her or the other girls in the face.” His boyfriend sighed.  
  
“She’s looking at him like he has ten heads.”  
  
Sirius laughed loudly.  
  
“He’s blushing. The other girls are laughing. Lily has her hands on her hips. This looks bad. He’s going to blame me.”  
  
“It’s about time he had some bravery to ask her, it’s hardly your fault you gave his ego that little boost that it needed. Plus, Evans is mad if she says no.”  
  
“Would you rather be dating Prongs, then?” Remus snickered.  
  
“No, way. Let Evans have him. I have a nice Moony, your arse is so much better than Prongs’.”  
  
Remus rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep the grin from his face. “Oh, she’s smiling now and nodding and James is jumping. He is actually jumping for joy. Gode Gud! I can’t believe he did it. We’re not going to hear the end of this ever.”  
  
“She better marry him or he may actually just die if they break up. Like not, kill himself or anything, but just die. Stop ceasing in existence because Lily has left him.”  
  
“That’s morbid and true.”  
  
Sirius yawned.  
  
“What time is it there?”  
  
“Not sure, I have the day off and I’ve been knackered the last two days.”  
  
“Yes, interviews and photoshoots and traveling and actually boarding will probably make you exhausted.” Remus laughed, digging around in his pack for some cigarettes. He missed Sirius at the skatepark, sitting with him and smoking. Chatting on the phone with him as he did that was the best that he could get.  
  
“I can’t wait to come home to you.”  
  
“When will you be home?”  
  
“You know.”  
  
“Tell me again.”  
  
“One November 2nd at 3:30. By four, I will be snogging your face off in James’ car. By five, you’ll have your hands in my pants in your bed. By six, we’ll be cuddled up in your bed.”  
  
“Have it all planned out, already, huh?”  
  
“Want me to tell you what I’m going to do when you put your hands down my pants?”  
  
Remus squeaked and put a hand over his eyes. “Sirius, I’m in public. We are not doing this right now.”  
  
“I’ll just wank here, all by my lonesome.” Sirius moaned and there was movement of fabric.  
  
“I hate you.” Remus moved his pink backpack on to his lap.  
  
“You don’t.” He insisted, voice sounding a bit strained.  
  
“Sirius, stop, I have to go, I’m not getting any more aroused than I am right now.”  
  
“Fine, bye, my Moony.”  
  
“Bye, my Padfoot.”  
  
Remus counted the days until Sirius’ return. He did his best to keep occupied with school, joining the newspaper to have something on his college application that wasn’t general delinquency. All of his weekends were spent with the Marauders and the girls. The girls were now a staple of the group since Lily started dating James. They fit right into things, which wasn’t a surprise because they all had got on in the past and Remus was sure they just pretended not to like one another. He also got his tongue pierced as a little surprise to Sirius because he had mentioned how the thought of it turned him on once. Remus also helped plan the big dinner and party everyone wanted to have for Sirius.   
  
On the day before Sirius was due home the Marauders and Co were over the Potter’s, playing Mario Cart on James’ ancient N64. It took forever to start, so of course there were a lot of jokes about blowing. Remus was up against James, Lily, and Em. He was swearing up a storm in Swedish because he was terrible at the game. Meanwhile, Em and Lily were leaving both boys in the dust. “Fuck!” James screeched as he got his by a shell.  
  
“I hate this game.” Remus seethed, feeling someone sit down beside him. For a moment he thought it was Peter, who had gone to the loo a minute again. But then Remus got a whiff of the cologne and looked over to see Sirius. “You bastard! Jag har saknat dig! You’re supposed to be here tomorrow.” Remus dropped his controller, game completely forgotten, because Sirius Black in all his flowing black hair and lovely stormy eyes was sitting there and beaming at him.  
  
“Are you complaining about this?” Sirius asked, wide eyed. “I thought you’d be happy.”  
  
“I’m just in shock.” Remus lounged forward and kissed him, unable to not touch Sirius any longer. A second after Sirius’ tongue was in his mouth the other boy pulled back and gave Remus a funny look.  
  
“Doesn’t kiss as well as before? Is it a ‘if you don’t use it you lose it thing’?” James pondered, looking at them curiously after pausing the game.  
  
“No…” Sirius hand went to Remus’ chin and forced his mouth opened. “You little tart!”  
  
“Happy birthday?” Remus raised one eyebrow.  
  
“Why are we looking into Moony’s mouth, you’ve gotten weird? Is this an American thing? You’ve been spending to much time with them.” Peter asked from the sofa.  
  
But Sirius didn’t answer, instead his tongue was teasing at Remus’ piercing again.  
  
“Get a room.” Marlene threw balled up napkin at them.  
  
“Oh, I think we will. Josie home?”  
  
“She’s actually out on a date with Richard.”  
  
Sirius smirked, looping his arm through the Swede’s.  
  
“Hey! You have seen us either.” James complained.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Remus has newspaper things all morning, he said. Who does a club that has work on weekends? My swotty boyfriend, apparently. So, you’ll have me to yourself most of the day. Like you wouldn’t whisk Lily off after not seeing her for months? You also knew this was the plan the whole time.” Sirius said, standing up and pulling Remus with him.  
  
James frowned but then shrugged and waved him off.  
  
“Night all!”  
  
“Be safe!” Mary yelled after them.  
  
Not much later, “Ah, fuck that’s a hell of a lot better than phone sex.” Sirius panted as Remus cleaned them both up. “I don’t think I can feel my toes.”  
  
“Are you normally aware of your toes?”  
  
“I’m aware of my whole body. I’m taking yoga now, you know? Helps me with my center.” Sirius hummed as happily, sitting up against the back of the headboard.  
  
“Yes, you’re very, um, stretchy.” He grinned before going to his desk to retrieve one of Sirius’ gifts.  
  
“Is that for me?” Sirius pointed to the gift with the pink bow and green paper.  
  
“No, it’s for my other boyfriend.” Remus settled on to the bed next to him.  
  
“Tosser.” Sirius nudged his calf with his foot.  
  
“It’s not really much of a gift—”  
  
“That tongue ring and what you just did was more than enough of a gift.” Sirius gave him a lopsided grin.  
  
“I think I need to sanitize it. I should probably take it out of my mouth.” Remus thought of where it had been not long ago.  
  
“Your whole mouth was there, I don’t think that it’s a problem right now. First, let me open my gift.” He made grabby hands like a toddler.  
  
Remus handed over the gift and Sirius eagerly tackled the paper and smiled down at the book. “Cuddle Sutra. This is adorable.”  
  
“I figured, since that’s how you realized you fancied me… you’d like it and you do fancy a cuddle. It’s dumb.” Remus hid his face for a minute before Sirius whomped him over the head with the book.  
  
“Stop that, I love it.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Now, spoon me with those lanky limbs and hold me tight.”  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and complied. They settled in and soon Sirius was snoring. Remus suddenly realized something, he had never told Sirius that he loved him or vice versa.  He wasn’t sure why he had never said it to Sirius, it was like he didn’t need to. But he wanted to now. Then again, it made him a little nervous to say it out loud… The more he thought about it, the more he understood why he couldn’t say it to Sirius. If their relationship failed then there would be so much fall out, no matter how amicable things went. It was like Remus was trying his best to still not be so entangled with Sirius, but it was too late for that.  
  
“Moons, I can hear you thinking. Go to sleep.” Sirius grumbled, snapped Remus from his thoughts.  
  
“Sorry.” He pressed his kiss to the back of his neck. “Goodnight, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sirius’ Birthday gift actually exists http://uonlgbt.weebly.com/uploads/1/2/3/1/12319249/35078612-the-cuddle-sutra.pdf 
> 
> Gode Gud: Good God  
> Jag har saknat dig!: I missed you so much!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has an interview, Remus has a surprise, they can’t keep their hands off one another, and Remus has a few conversations.

“You have a new design on your board. The animals with the moon and lake. Is there any special meaning to that?” Kingsley Shacklebolt from Sky Sports was interviewing Sirius before the Winter X Games got underway in Aspen. They were doing a segment on the what they called, ‘The British Prodigy’ or ‘The Rest of the World’s Answer to Shaun White’. His eyes rolled at both of those, especially the second one. He didn’t understand why the world needed an answer to the ginger. White was bloody brilliant, Sirius still wanted to do better than him but he still didn’t think the world needed an answer. Why couldn’t two different forms of greatness exist at once?  
  
“It’s a drawing that my mate did. He’s a brilliant artist but he’d never say he was.” Sirius grinned, just thinking of Remus. It was always so strange referring to him as his mate. “We all have nicknames, which happen to correspond to these animals. I just like keeping them with me.”  
  
Kingsley nodded, looking closer at the board. “We’ll get a close up of this after, yeah?”  
  
The camera guy nodded.  
  
“As a fellow Englishman, are you met with the same surprise at being involved in extreme sport?” Kingsley asked after he had inspected the snowboard’s design.  
  
Sirius snorted. “It’s as if Americans are the only ones allowed to do these things.”  
  
“I think back home people would be more surprised that someone with your posh accent is involved in street sport.”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got that at local competitions. Kids thinking I was stealing away what they deserved and I should be able to enjoy the sport like them. Which, is barmy. My life wasn’t as great as people think and even if it had been, I don’t think it should have any bearing on what sport I do. I would have died if I was forced into cricket or something.” Sirius scoffed before he regretted it. He knew he was going to piss some people off.  
  
Kingsley chuckled and moved on to another topic.  
  
Following the interview, which took place at a local board shop, Sirius headed to the flat he had rented in Aspen. He was getting sick of hotels and a lot of his training was taking place there so he got a temporary lease on a place close by the slopes. He just wanted to be home to call Remus. The games were starting in a day and he wished that Remus and everyone else could be there but he knew that they would all be missing three or four days of work and school just for him. He figured it would have been stupid for them all to take the time so Sirius didn’t even ask. He just told his boyfriend and friends that he missed them and they told them good luck on the slopes.  
  
Sirius let himself into his flat, tossed his keys into the bowl and went to the kitchen to make some tea before he called Remus. He had to calculate in his head if it was too late for him to call back home. It took him a moment to realize that he was not alone in his flat. The snowboarder got that feeling of another’s presence close by.  
  
He furrowed his brow and called out, “Hestia, if that’s you, you can fuck off. I’m off the clock for the day.”  
  
No one answered but he was sure that he heard a low chuckle from the living area. He abandoned his hopes of a cuppa to make sure that he wasn’t about to be murdered. So he took a deep breath and stalked out of the kitchen and turned the corner into the room. In front of him, spread around the dining table, sofa, and arm chair were the Lupins, Potters, Pettigrews, and Lily. “You surprised me last time, I thought it was my turn.” Remus said with a crocked smile, standing up.  
  
Of course, Sirius launched himself right at him and curled his legs around his waist. “You’re heavy!” Remus nearly faltered by stayed upright.  
  
“That’s not nice, you’re supposed to compliment your boyfriend you haven’t seen since Christmas.”  
  
“I know but it’s true, what on earth are you eating?”  
  
“Excuse you, it’s muscle.”  
  
“I know, I’m teasing.” Remus gave him one more tight hug and a tender kiss ‘hello’ before easing him on to the ground again.  
  
Sirius went around and hugged everyone else in the room. Whenever they were all in one place, his found family, he could never help how his mind wandered to what it would have been like if his blood relatives, outside of Andi, embraced his love of the sport. Also, if they weren’t so cruel. The parents he knew would have never been caught dead with the middle class Pettigrews or the mixed race Potters or the ‘gold digger’ Josie Lupin or the former middle class-orphan Remus. He hoped that Regulus would go back to straying away from his parent’s ideals but it didn’t look like it would happen. He hadn’t spoken to his brother since he was officially kicked out of the family, which was thanks, in great deal wit Regulus tattling on him.  
  
“Are you okay, mate?” James snapped his fingers in front of his face.  
  
“Yeah, course I am.” He grinned. “How’s everyone for tea? I was about to make myself a cup before I realized I had intruders… which, by the way, how the hell did you get in here?”  
  
“I called Hestia, dear, she got us the key.” Euphemia informed him.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes before he and Remus went to go fix some tea in the kitchen. The others let them go take care of it alone. They wasted about five minutes snogging before they actually went to go prepare the tea. “I can’t believe you’re missing school for me. I thought you’d be in revising hell for A Levels.”  
  
“I’ve been told I had to take a break from school work.”  
  
“Don’t burn yourself out.” Sirius put his hands on Remus’ hips after he put the kettle on.  
  
“That’s why I’m here. Plus, I wanted to see you. You do win all your medals for me.”  
  
Sirius grinned and pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I do but I think you should get the highest marks you can, for me.”  
  
“Oh, I will. But I would anyway.” Remus snorted.  
  
“It’s the romance of the proclamation.” Sirius insisted and the Swede just shook his head and kissed him again.  
  
“You’re a sap.” He said fondly.  
  
“I know.” Sirius kissed his cheek.  
  
Sirius won bronze in Cross, silver in SuperPipe, and bronze in Slopestyle. Somedays he surprised himself at how good he actually was. He could have sworn it was just yesterday he stepped on a board for the first time. He knew he put on a good front of being self-assured to the point of cocky but he was always doubting himself. Constantly. It was probably coming from his family that he felt that way. If it weren’t for his friends and Andi, then he probably would have never gone after his dream. Sirius didn’t want to disappoint them. He honestly used Remus’ pride in him as a motivation to do well, it wasn’t just some stupid romantic thing he said to his boyfriend. He really meant it.  
  
Sirius had five minutes before he was needed for an interview after SuperPipe. He managed to pull Remus from the group and into the room he had met Hestia in earlier. It was small but private and quiet for a snog. “Aren’t you supposed to be busy?” Remus asked, puffing humid air onto Sirius’ neck. His hands were on Sirius’ sides, pushing up his thermals to touch the warm skin on his stomach.  
  
“I have three minutes.” Sirius silenced Remus with another kiss.  
  
“You’re so good, Padfoot, I want to do something — whatever you want tonight. Your wish will be my command.”  
  
Sirius moaned quietly before their lips met again. They were both so into the kiss that they both missed the door opening and the sharp in take of breath from Hestia. But they did hear Kingsley say, “Well, that’s a story”.  
  
In a blink of an eye, Sirius jumped as far from Remus as he could and looked at both of the people in the doorway who were gaping at them. Remus, meanwhile turned so his back was to them and his hands were covering his face like they tended to when get got embarrassed. Sirius was sure he heard him muttering a thing or two in Swedish. “I think we should all talk.” Hestia said, clasping her hands together like she was praying.  
  
Sirius thought his career was about to be ruined. He was told plenty of times what was expected of him from sponsors. It was all about keeping up the facade of masculine greatness. All mates. All strong. All just bloody stupid. But he wanted the other part of it all so bad, he had since he was a kid and saw the older boys at the skatepark doing tricks. Now it was all falling apart because he had so little self control around his boyfriend.  
  
Somehow, they ended up coming to an agreement with Kingsley. He would get two exclusives with Sirius, whenever he wanted. He would also be the first to get an interview if Sirius ever came out publicly. Sirius had managed to be saved thanks to Hestia and he silver tongue.  
  
“We’re reckless.” Remus hummed. They were sitting in bed after returning back to Sirius’ flat after a celebratory dinner with everyone.  
  
“Uncaring.”  
  
“Stupid.”  
  
Remus said something in Swedish that flew over Sirius’ head.  
  
“You need to keep your hands off of me when we’re out in the world.”  
  
“It’s just so hard.”  
  
“Know what else is hard?” Sirius cocked an eyebrow as he moved to straddle his boyfriend’s thighs.  
  
“I thought that we were talking about something important.” Remus laughed, his hands sliding up Sirius thighs.  
  
“It’s boring and taken care of. Let’s shag.”  
  
Sirius didn’t want to worry about anything that had to do with the media, sponsors, and being gay. He knew that it could eventually cause some problems between he and Remus and he didn’t want to have any problems yet. He was so happy. He wanted to make things last with Remus as long as he could before it inevitably broke apart. It was inevitable, wasn’t it? They were two different people, going opposite ways. But Sirius didn’t need to think about that now. He needed to think about Remus under him, kissing him. The present was the most important.

***

Remus was revising for English with Lily in his sitting room. She was being oddly quiet and fidgety, which she only did when something was wrong and she was trying to bring up a way to talk about it. “What is it Lis?” He asked, setting aside his notebook for a while.  
  
“Nothing… er, I don’t know. I was just talking about things with James last night.”  
  
“Why do you get all, I don’t know, elusive, when you’re wanting to talk about things?”  
  
She frowned. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Can you just tell me what the problem is? I can’t really attempt to help if you don’t.”  
  
Lily tossed her book on to the table and sat so she was hugging her knees. “James said, he’s taking a gap year. That you all are, just going to travel and spend time with Sirius. That’s great and I want you all to do that because it will be good for you. But I’m really going to miss you all. James most of all, obviously, no offense, Re.”  
  
Remus chuckled. “You’re going to do university right off then?”  
  
“Well, yeah, I am. I always knew that was going to happen but I never knew I’d fall in love with James Potter. Can you bloody believe that I’m in love with James freaking Potter?”  
  
Remus felt his mouth form into a little ‘o’. “Have you told him you loved him?”  
  
“Of course I have.” She chuckled. “You have to tell the person you love that you love them.” Lily’s smile fell quickly. “You haven’t told Sirius?”  
  
“No…” Remus trailed off, trying to find reasons why he hadn’t.  
  
“Haven’t you been dating for almost two years now?”  
  
Remus itched behind his ear and shrugged. “I know it’s weird to say but I always forget that we’ve never said it out loud.”  
  
“You love him though?”  
  
Remus felt really strange that he was talking about this with Lily since he never talked about it with Sirius.  
  
“Do you not talk about your feelings with him?”  
  
He laughed, “We’re always talking about our feelings. We just have never said I love you to one another.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
He let out a long suffering sigh. “I haven’t said it for my own reasons.” Remus licked his lips.  
  
“I swear I won’t tell James or anyone else, you know I can keep a secret.”  
  
Remus scrubbed a hand through his curls. “Okay. I’ve never said it because I’m afraid it’s going to make everything more important than it is now. It sounds so stupid but, I, I just feel like if we have to break up it might be easier.”  
  
“Oh, love, you’re in it deep already. I don’t think it makes much of a difference.”  
  
“I know, it’s stupid and I just should say it but I feel like it’s already been so long and he’s probably built it up. Fuck, he’s never said it to me.” Sometimes he worried that Sirius didn’t love him but he knew that it wasn’t true. He saw how much Sirius cared for him. Everything they did, even when they were so far away from one another, revolved around each other. Yeah, there were doubts still. He wondered somedays if he was sleeping around but he didn’t believe it when he thought rationally. It would be crazy if Sirius didn’t love him. Then again, he wondered, with Sirius’ family background, did he know how to truly love? He didn’t know how to cuddle before they met but certainly he had learned to love? So many people surrounded him, loved him.  
  
“Just say it, slip it into conversation.”  
  
“I can’t. Not now. When we’re traveling together for the gap year, then I’ll say it.”  
  
Lily nodded. “Okay, so we’re both in love with these two gits and it’s established here, how do you survive long distance?”  
  
“A high phone bill, constant email, facebooking, skypeing…” He left out that he and Sirius were experts in all forms of phone sex, texting sex, and video chatting sex. Remus worried that he was going to develop carpal tunnel.  
  
“And you’re happy?”  
  
“I’d be happier with him but we’ve dealt with it. We haven’t had any problems, which I think is good. You always hear people have issues with long distance relationships.”  
  
“I just don’t know if I could be separated from James like that.”  
  
Remus shrugged. “I think if it’s meant to be then it would work out, right?”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right.” She bit her bottom lip then grinned. “To change the subject, do you know that your friend Dorcas is going to Uni in London and Marls is very excited about that.”  
  
Remus chuckled. “Yes, I knew. It doesn’t surprise me that Marlene is excited. Dorcas wouldn’t shut up again her after the visited that time and she’s been going on about her a lot again lately.”  
  
“I think, depending where we all end up, I’ll room with them both.”  
  
“That’d be fun.”  
  
“I mean, it’s not official yet but I think it’s going to be Kings for me and UCL for Marls.”  
  
Remus felt something in his gut that he wasn’t sure what it was. It happened a lot when others talked about going off to university. Since he was a kid, he wanted to go study at a university. That sounds so swotty, as Sirius would say, but it came with having a father who was a professor. Remus loved learning and craved knowledge. His dad was the coolest person that he knew, he was also the smartest. Lyall Lupin was tough, smart, and witty. Remus wanted to be just like that. He wondered somedays if he was abandoning his own dreams to support Sirius.   
  
Josefina apparently had the same fears because she brought it up over dinner a week later. “Are your plans still to follow around Sirius next year?” She questioned as Richard poured more wine for her.  
  
“I’m not following him around. I’m taking a gap year and seeing the world, it just happens to be with him, James, and Peter.” Remus frowned. “You sound upset about it.”  
  
Josie tapped her painted red finger. “You know I care for Sirius and I want both of you to work out because I think you’re an excellent pair together. But I just worry you’re going to go out on the road and not come back.”  
  
“I want to go to university, though.” He picked at his cuticles, feeling a bit anxious.  
  
“I know that you’re in love with him and you care about him. I just, I’m nervous that you’ll both fall into routine and you’ll end up too scared to break his heart or you’ll get so content with it that you’ll stay.”  
  
“Isn’t it his life though, Josie?” Richard asked. Remus liked Richard, he was a good guy and normally stayed out of business between Remus and his aunt but in this moment he was glad that he spoke up.  
  
“He’s smart, Rich, you are, Remus… but you’re still a teenager. Not only are you a teenager but you lost your parents and I don’t want you thinking that young love is more important than school. If he loves you, he’ll support your dreams, just as much as you support his.”  
  
He knew that Josefina was right but he didn’t know what to say to her. Remus did wonder sometimes if he would end up just staying out on the road with Sirius and going where ever he went. He just didn’t want to dwell on it.  
  
Before bed that night he called Sirius, who answered right away. He filled him in on his day thus far and how he mastered a new, complicated trick. Remus told Sirius about school and James and Peter and the girls but he left out what he talked about with his aunt because he didn’t want Sirius to think he was going to back out. Or he didn’t want Sirius to tell him that he might still be able to apply and get in.  
  
“How are you, my Moonshine?” Sirius asked. “You sound like you’re down and out.”  
  
Remus smiled to himself and rolled over on to his back. “I just miss you.”  
  
“Soon you’ll be out here with me, you know? We’re all going to have to much fun and I get to be with you, so that’s really the best, isn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s the best.” And also a bit terrifying, he thought to himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is on the road, Sirius realizes something, they say something they haven’t, they break up, Remus regrets it but is reassured he did the right thing, and Lily has some news.

Sirius watched Remus light a cigarette and lean back against the headboard. Remus was being bathed in the moonlight, just like any Moony should be. They were Sirius’ new flat in Aspen, Colorado. There were places for him to train in both skate and snow, it was really the perfect place for him. There was enough space for Peter, James, and Remus to all live with him as well. They still had to travel for events, like to Auckland, New Zealand, which was coming up in a week. But he liked having a home base that met his training needs.  
  
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Remus passed him the fag.  
  
Sirius shrugged and took a drag. “Just thinking about how nice it is to have you here and how nice you look and how good that shag was. It’s so much better than phone sex.”  
  
Remus had a funny look on his face then it disappeared with a big grin. “So, so much better than phone sex. We also have a little extra bonus here of scandalizing James and Peter.”  
  
“You’re happy that you’re here, aren’t you, Moons?”  
  
“Of course I am.” Remus’ hand drifted over Sirius’ fairly new moon phases tattoo on his forearm. Remus almost hit him for getting it but then he said it was romantic and sweet. “I missed you so much when you were gone. Now I get to be here with you.”  
  
Sirius worried somedays that he wasn’t enough for Remus. Remus was bright, so brilliant that it always surprised Sirius. He was witty and sweet. Remus had so much ahead of him in terms of schooling and a career. But here he was, staying in Aspen, where Remus had nothing but Sirius and his friends around. He sat around and got high and read and listened to music. Sirius knew that Remus should have been at Cambridge or Oxford or Kings or whatever fancy uni back in Sweden, not being a vagabond for a year. Whenever he asked Remus what he wanted to do after the year, he’d shrug and say he only cared about now.  
  
Somedays it was a wonder to Sirius that they got on so well. They were both so different but at the same time they were so much alike. He felt like they should have be volatile but it was the opposite. They were so loving and careful with one another. They had some rows but it was always over stupid, little things like not doing the washing up. Even though it was so good, and they survived long distance and a whole two years of going out with one another, they never told each other they loved each other. Sirius had never said those words to someone else, outside of joking around. He had never looked someone in the eye and meant it with all of his heart. He knew that he could do it with Remus but he didn’t know how.  
  
He knew that it sounded daft, not knowing how, but he didn’t really… well, know. There seemed to be more to it than just saying the words. It made him nervous to say it and possibly get rejected. Sirius was sure that Remus loved him but he worried that, possibly, Remus would have reasons to not say it back. He had heard Remus tell Marcus that he loved him and they didn’t last nearly as long as Sirius did with the Swede. There had to be a reason why Remus wouldn’t say it to him. Sirius was just so afraid to find out what that reason was.  
  
The months went on with the Marauders acting as members to Sirius’ team. James worked on his boards, always doing the right thing to make them better. Peter helped document everything and blogged about his competitions. Remus just offered him words of encouragement and helped him destress. If anyone asked, Remus was his assistant. When they weren’t busy working or watching Sirius train, they played pranks on other boarders that Sirius had met along the way. It was almost like being back at school, except his mates didn’t have anything to worry about.  
  
Soon it was October and they were back home in England to spend some of Sirius’ down time with their family and friends. Sirius decided to lease a flat in Manchester before they had returned so he could be close to the Potters and everyone else whenever he was back in the UK but in the city. He figured it’d be nice to have a place of his own in the UK so he didn’t have to bother the Euphemia and Fleamont as well.  
  
On a walk back to the flat one night, after meeting everyone for dinner, Remus was looking at some students from the University of Manchester hanging about in front of some student housing. They were laughing about something and talking loudly. Remus looked almost wistful. Something in Sirius twisted in hurt, like it was his fault that Remus wasn’t one of those students. He squeezed Remus’ hand and they walked the rest of the way to the building where Sirius’ flat was.  
  
Silently, again, Remus went to go make tea. Sirius watched him from the doorway between the kitchen and living room. There was a tense line in Remus’ shoulder’s, like he knew that something was about to unfurl between them. Sirius took a deep breath, wanting to say something but he wasn’t sure where to begin. They had had such a good night but there was something else in the air now. Remus had never brought up how he felt about not going to uni right away. Sirius wondered if that was what was on Remus’ mind too. Maybe he had read something wrong, he was always so worried he’d muck things up between them for missing some emotional cue that he ignored.  
  
“Are you okay?” Sirius asked after they sat at the kitchen table with their mugs.  
  
“I’m fine, Padfoot.” Remus took a deep breath then frowned. “How come I feel like we’re about to have a Big Talk?”  
  
Sirius shrugged. “I… I just saw you looking at those uni students and you looked sad. Are you upset you’re not there?”  
  
“A little, yeah.”  
  
“Then why didn’t you go?” Sirius asked cautiously.  
  
Remus looked down at his mug, not meeting Sirius’ eyes. “I wanted to be with you.”  
  
“You’re going to want to be with me next year, aren’t you? When you go to uni, I mean.”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“Then maybe you should have gone and just started to get everything over with.”  
  
Remus covered his eyes. “Sirius, I will be in university for at least three years. After that, I’d be looking for a job. I’d like to teach so I could exactly be able to travel to see you.”  
  
Sirius shifted in his seat. “Our dreams don’t really fit with one another, do they?”  
  
His boyfriend chewed on his bottom lip, thinking about what he wanted to say. “I just keep thinking if we loved each other, then we’d be able to work it out, right? We’d be able to work through it, wouldn’t we?”  
  
“Well, yeah…”  
  
“But then, how come I feel like it just wouldn’t happen. It’s one thing for us to do it when I was just a high school student but I don’t know if I can live my whole life in a long distance relationship, could you?” Remus looked up at him with sad, hazel eyes.  
  
Sirius felt tears trying to escape. “I’d do it because I love you.”  
  
“But we wouldn’t be happy.” He spoke softly. “You love me? You’ve never said it.”  
  
Sirius blinked because he didn’t realize that he had said it out loud. “Yeah, of course I do. I just never knew when to say it.”  
  
“So, you thought now would be a good time?” Remus’ laugh sounded a little bit bitter. “Sirius, just because you love me doesn’t mean that it’s just going to magically work out. Life isn’t that easy.”  
  
“I know that life isn’t easy.” Sirius ran a hand over his face. “I just think that I could work it out for you. I’m willing to do whatever is that I can for you.”  
  
“But you wouldn’t be happy.” Remus said desperately. “Would you? You can’t come out, we’d always have to hide in the closet. You’re always traveling. I know you hated being away from me, you couldn’t do that forever. You have to be honest with yourself, here, Sirius. You know that in the long run one of us would either have to sacrifice something or we would have to end it.”  
  
Remus was right but Sirius didn’t want him to be. He had no idea what to say to him next because it sounded like it was all, already over and there was nothing that Sirius could say to save them from the impending doom of a break up.  
  
“I love you Padfoot, I really do and I’m kicking myself for never saying it before because this isn’t how I wanted to tell you. I want you to be happy and I — I don’t think either of us will be happy next year and if not next year then sometime in the near future. I tried telling myself that we could do it but spending so much time with you on the road has made me realize that I’m not going to be able to leave you behind. I’ve been so tempted to forget about school and just stay with you forever.”  
  
“I don’t want you to sacrifice your dreams for me.” Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
“And I can’t ask you to do the same for me either.”  
  
“So… you’re saying we need to —“  
  
“Break up, yeah.” Remus sniffled.  
  
Sirius didn’t realize that he had been crying as well. “Can you, just until you go back to school, can you come back to Aspen with me and stay?”  
  
Remus made a noise like he was frustrated. “God, I want to but it just would hurt more, wouldn’t it? And wouldn’t we be strange around each other?”  
  
“Ya-yeah…”  
  
“I’m so sorry, Sirius.” Remus whispered.  
  
“You’re right, you’re always right because you’re fucking brilliant.” Sirius licked his chapped lips. “You loved me, didn’t you?”  
  
“God, so fucking much, I didn’t think it was possible.” He reached across the table to take Sirius’ hands in his. “You’re so amazing, Sirius, you deserve someone great.”  
  
Sirius bit back that it was Remus who he wanted. Sometimes he wondered if he deserved Remus, though. Maybe this was a sign that he didn’t. “I love you too.”  
  
“I know it’s going to be so painful for us both and I think you’re going to end up hating me for breaking up with you. But I — I think we need to try to be friends. The scariest part of starting to date you was losing your friendship and James’ and Peter’s in turn. You were the family that I got after I lost mine and I’m so afraid to lose you.”  
  
Sirius nodded, “Yeah, yeah, Remus, of course we can be civil.”  
  
“You might regret saying that later. When the shock wears off.” Remus’s thumb ran over his knuckles. “I’m so sorry, Sirius.”  
  
“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you what and need.”  
  
“Don’t be stupid, this is on both of us. Not just you and not just me.” He leaned forward and pressed a kissed to Sirius’ lips. Their kiss tasted like tears and Sirius felt like his heart was shattering in his chest. He knew that this would happen one day but he thought there would have been a lot of yelling and swearing. Like in the movies or on telly, it was always so fiery and passionate. But this was so civil.  
  
Remus left a few minutes later with one more kiss. Sirius crawled into his bed, which still smelt like Remus and cried himself to sleep like a child. When he woke up, it all felt like a dream, especially when someone was climbing into bed with him. “Re?”  
  
“No, mate, it’s James.” The voice said. “Remus told Lil what happened. You all right?”  
  
“No, I’m bloody shattered.” Sirius rolled over to look at his friend. He felt so empty inside, knowing that Remus wasn’t going to be the one crawling into his bed anymore or even just calling him. They were over. He started to feel that anger Remus had mention, flicker inside of him. He didn’t want to be angry with Remus because he was right. They would have broke up eventually and it could have been a lot worse then. There was no way he could spend so much time apart and be happy.  
  
“Do we hate him?”  
  
He shook his head. “He only did what was right. I couldn’t stop him from making the right choice.”  
  
“Doesn’t make it any better, does it?” James hugged him tight. “I’m here, if you need me. Want some tea or something?”  
  
“Don’t hate him, he’s your mate.” Sirius shook his head. “I just want to sleep.”  
  
“Go right ahead then.”

***

Remus went back to Josie’s that night and she sat with him, drinking hot chocolate while he told her what had happened. She did her best to comfort him, telling him he did the right thing. Remus knew he did what was best but that didn’t mean it made things any better. It was probably so much worse because if things went bad, if someone had cheated, or if they just had problems in their relationship, then things would have been a lot easier to let go of.  
  
He felt completely numb. Sirius had been so good to him and understood him so completely. He didn’t get scared of Remus’ emotions, no matter how low he got on the days he particularly missed his parents. Sirius always made him smile when he need it but he also let him cry when he knew that was what Remus wanted. They were good for each other but there was no possible way Remus could go on for how ever long with living long distance.  
  
It was unbelievable that the first time the finally told one other that they loved each other was the same day that they broke up. Only they would do something like that. Remus had told Marcus only a month in that he loved him. But bringing it to Sirius just seemed so important and it was just such a Big Thing. It was nothing to Marcus. Sirius and Remus’ relationship was so heavy, in a good way. It just meant that they were inevitably going to break one another’s heart.  
  
Remus hated that he needed to put everything out there for Sirius to see what they needed to do. Sirius even agreed with him, for christ’s sakes. He had known for a long time that it wasn’t sensible for them to be with another under all the circumstances they faced when Remus went off to Uni. Their lives were heading in different directions and they couldn’t stay together because of it.  
  
Over a month later, he finally pulled himself out of bed and went to London, at Lily’s suggestion. She offered the couch to him, thinking it might help him a bit to be around his friends. Marlene and Dorcas told him that he could stay as along as he wanted to. It was probably for the best because he was starting to feel like he did those first few months in Brackenwoods. James and Peter were back on the road with Sirius. The girls were spread out a bit over the UK. Alice and Frank were planning a wedding back in Sweden. Remus felt like he was no where.  
  
“I’m so happy you’re here.” Lily sat on the sofa next to Remus with a cup of tea.  
  
“Glad you wanted me here.” He clutched his own mug.  
  
“Are you feeling okay, love?”  
  
“No.” He leaned his head on her shoulder. “Have you asked James how Sirius is?”  
  
“Do you really want to know?”  
  
“James and Pete won’t tell me because they said it’s for the best we work through our feelings before we see each other again. But I just want to know if he’s okay.”  
  
Lily rubbed his arm and pulled him in tight against her. “Are you sure that you want to hear, love?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“He’s angry and sad.”  
  
Remus felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I hate that I broke up with him and hurt him but… I mean, I did the right thing, didn’t I?”  
  
“You did, you couldn’t negotiate it. You were a big enough person to realize it and I think that took a lot of guts.” She said as Marlene and Dorcas came into the flat.  
  
“Oh, Re, what’s wrong?” Marlene frowned, taking a seat on the floor in front of him. Dorcas sat right next to her.  
  
“The same thing that’s been wrong for the last almost month. God, I hate myself.”  
  
“Don’t do that.” Dorcas leaned forward, putting a hand on his knee. “You’ll feel better soon enough, you just have to get all of these emotions out of you.”  
  
“But I still hurt him. Sirius doesn’t need to be hurt anymore. I swore to him I’d protect him and he’d be safe with me and I hurt him.” That was really the worst of it. Outside of not being with Sirius in general.  
  
Lily brushed her fingers through his hair. He kicked back the thought that the fingers weren’t Sirius’.  
  
“It’s for the best. You’ll both be happier in the end than you would have been if you stayed together. You might even be mates again.”  
  
Remus hoped that his friends were right. He wanted to be friends with Sirius again and at the time of their breakup, that was one of the reasons for him going through with it. It was just too fresh now.  
  
A week later he walked into the girls’ flat after spending the day wandering around London until his feet hurt. He heard sobbing coming from the bathroom and immediately felt a rush of panic. “Marls, Lil, Dorcas?” He called out, walking over to the door.  
  
“Re?” Lily sniffled on the other side of the door before opening it.  
  
Her eyes were red with tears and her beautiful auburn hair was a frazzled mess.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“I—I’m pregnant.”  
  
Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times before just stepping forward and wrapping his arms around his friend.  
  
“Fuck, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  
  
“Would you get an abortion?” Remus asked hesitantly, putting an arm around her shoulders and walking towards her room. As much as he didn’t want Lily to have to deal with this, he was happy to have something else to worry about than himself and what Sirius was feeling.  
  
“I—no… I’ve thought about it. I’ve been worried for the last few weeks so I’ve thought about it. I, er, want to have a baby. I’m just nineteen though, same with James — he’s not even nineteen yet. But I want it.”  
  
Remus sat her down on her bed before joining her. “So, you’re going to have a baby.”  
  
“Yeah, yep… I’m going to be a mum.”  
  
“You’re going to be a great mum.” He assured her.  
  
“I think I’ll get my degree online.” She took a deep breath. “I know James has enough money to support us but I want to do my own thing. I don’t want to get married yet either.”  
  
“Then don’t. Do what you want to do.”  
  
“I’m scared.”  
  
“Well, I’m here for you and I know that James will be there for you because if he’s not I’ll kill him with my bare hands. Peter, Sirius, Marlene, Dorcas, the Potters, hell Josie, and the Pettigrews, we’re all going to be there. I bet you’ll even be overwhelmed with the help that you can have from us. The thing will be spoilt.”  
  
“They do say it takes a village to raise a child.”  
  
“Mmm, it will be one crazy village but I think it will work out fine. I mean, most of the village helped finish raising me. I turned out all right, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yeah, you did, didn’t you?” She nudged him. “Thank you, Remus. You always make me feel better. Sure you want to read for history and not psychology?”  
  
“I worry about my own mental stability. I don’t think that I’m able to help others out.”  
  
She shrugged. “Whatever you say, professor.” She teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are going to hate me, I am so sorry but don’t worry, it gets better. I swear…. Also I should have this all posted very soon since I’m finished writing. I might even post another later today.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is born, Sirius interacts with Remus for the first time since the break up, there’s a Friends reference, Sirius talks to his brother, Remus is a bit of a slag, and he chats with Lily.

On July 31st, 2009 Sirius woke up at nine in the morning to his phone ringing. “It’s happening, Sirius. She’s having the baby! We’re going to Mungo’s.” James sounded frantic on the other end of the phone.  
  
“Calm down, you twat. Lily will be fine.” Sirius groaned as he got out of bed. “I’ll be there soon.”  
  
“Hurry up, I’m going to freak out.”  
  
“You say I’m a drama queen.” Sirius snickered.  
  
“I’m going to be a father!” James shouted and Sirius heard Euphemia in the background, telling him to get off the phone.  
  
“I’m on my way, dad.”  
  
“Not funny!” James shrieked before Sirius could end the call.  
  
Sirius was half way to the hospital when he had the jarring realization that he was going to see Remus for the first time in almost ten months. The last ten months had been difficult. He was doing great professionally. He was a shoe in for the 2010 Olympic team. But he felt like he was missing something. Every medal seemed to lose its meaning without Remus around to tell him how proud he was afterwards.  
  
There was no way he could know how he was going to feel when he came face to face with Remus. He went through a rollercoaster of emotions after the breakup. He missed him, loved him, hated him, wanted him to have the best, wanted him to have the worst. As much as Sirius understood why Remus broke up with him, he was still completely destroyed by it. He wasn’t okay up until a couple of months ago. He worried what his reaction was going to be to seeing his ex-boyfriend now.  
  
When he arrived at the hospital, he was pointed to the direction of the family waiting room. Inside there were a couple of people he didn’t know but overwhelmingly, it was filled with his friends. The Potters, Pettigrews, Marlene, Dorcas, Josefina, Richard, and (obviously) Remus were there. Lily’s parents and sister weren’t happy with her so they weren’t there.   
  
They were pretty upset that Lily decided to leave school and travel around with Sirius and James, who was now his official board technician. The couple were both planning on getting their degrees online. Lily was, of course, was devastated by this but James’ family took her in, like they took in Sirius. As well as their whole extended non-blood family. The Potters were the best people on the face of the planet in Sirius’ eyes and probably Lily’s right now.  
  
“Sirius, there you are.” Euphemia came over and brought him in to a tight hug.  
  
He hugged her back and his eyes met Remus’. God, did he miss him, still? How was it even possible?  
  
Once Euphemia let go him go, he was filled in that baby Potter was going to be born any moment now. Then he was rushed by everyone else. They were all talking loudly and joking. Somehow, he ended up next to Remus.  
  
“Uh, hi-ya, Remus.” Sirius put a hand on the back of his neck, trying to work out a kink in it.  
  
Remus smiled at him, not how he used to smile at him. It was like he was holding something back. “Hej hej. Um, congratulations on the gold medals in the winter games. On the way to the Olympics, right?”  
  
“Hope so.”  
  
“I don’t have any doubt that you’ll be on the medal podium in Vancouver. I saw that you had a spread in Sports Illustrated. That’s not a small thing.”  
  
Sirius couldn’t believe that Remus had actually followed him. Maybe he really did mean it about wanting to be friends at some point. “You think?”  
  
“Please, stop feigning modesty.” Remus rolled his eyes. “How have you been… outside of your career?”  
  
Sirius shrugged, bitting on his lips. “I was shite for a while but, ah, I’m okay now.”  
  
“Good, that’s good. I… I was so worried about how much I hurt you.”  
  
“It’s for the best, I know.” Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets because he wanted to reach out and touch Remus. He couldn’t understand why this was still a problem.  
  
“I’m still sorry.”  
  
“Have you been worrying about this the whole time?” Sirius raised an eyebrow and dropped his voice.  
  
“With everything you’ve gone through…”  
  
“Hey, everyone gets their heartbroken at least once in their lives, right?” Sirius lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “You know, no one would tell me how you were doing. I was worried they were angry with you.”  
  
Remus scoffed. “I got the same thing. Lily said it was for the best we dealt with it on our own.”  
  
“They were probably right.” Sirius nodded. It was nice talking to Remus again, he thought. As much as it hurt that they weren’t with one another anymore, he still wanted him in his life.  
  
Pete and Marlene came over to chat with them, probably sensing that the conversation was about to stall. “Can you believe this git’s going to be a godfather?” Peter punched Sirius in the arm.  
  
“Do you plan on spoiling him?” Marlene chuckled.  
  
“So much, the kid’s not going to be able to move in his room.” Sirius grinned.  
  
“I’M A FATHER! WOO HOO!” James came crashing into the waiting room. “BABY BOY!”  
  
Sirius jumped up and tackled his best mate. He had been a little mad at James for knocking Lily up and ruining their young adulthood but he got over it. James was going to be a great dad and Lily, the best mum.  
  
After meeting Harry James Potter for the first time, Sirius went down to the cafeteria for some tea with Peter. “So, how are you getting on with Remus? You’ve have a couple of conversations with him.”  
  
Sirius nodded as they moved down the line of people to pay. “It’s weird because I still want to just hug him and snog him but I’m happy enough just to talk with him. It’s a bit strange but we’re adults now. One of us has a child. We’ll get on. Ross and Rachel were friends for a while.”  
  
“Then she got off the plane. But Ross was a twat. Not a good example. But there’s still hope that he’ll get off the metaphorical plane.”  
  
“True it’s the principal of the thing. You really think I could get Remus back?”  
  
“One day, but Pads, I think you should focus on your career and if you meet someone else, go for it. You can’t wait around for something that might not happen. I want it to happen just as much as you but there’s no need for you to be pining over him forever.”  
  
Sirius agreed with Peter as they paid and went to go sit at one of the tables. He nearly dropped his tea when his saw Regulus sitting by himself, looking worse for the wear.  
  
“Regulus?” He hadn’t spoken to his brother in three years, since the day  Regulus told Walburga and Orion what he saw in the library between Sirius and Remus.  
  
“Sirius, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Colorado for training.”  
  
“Our friend had a baby. You’ve been following my career?” He furrowed his brow and took a seat across from his brother.  
  
“Yeah.” Regulus shrugged.  
  
“Your parents must love that.”  
  
“They don’t really know.”  
  
“Why are you here?” Sirius asked.  
  
“Dad’s dying.”  
  
Sirius wanted to offer him some kind of comfort but he wasn’t sure how to go about doing that. He also wasn’t sure if he wanted to. Regulus was the one that spurred on the official end of his relationship with his family. He also didn’t care if Walburga or Orion both dropped dead at once.  
  
“I see. Your Mummy will murder you if she sees you talking to me.”  
  
Regulus clenched his jaw. “I’m sorry for what I did to you, Sirius. I — I just thought it was what they would want me to do. I thought it was wrong.”  
  
“You’re speaking in the past tense?” Sirius leaned on the table and glared at him.  
  
“I hate it there, Sirius. I fucked up when I got you kicked out.”  
  
“It was the best thing you ever did but your were a little fucking cunt about it. You just ran off to tell Mummy and Daddy, without even talking to me. You should at least fucking had a conversation with me.” Sirius apparently had a lot of residual anger about what had happened.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Regulus looked as if he was on the verge of tears. “It’s so horrible there I — I don’t understand why I did that back then.”  
  
“Because they brainwashed you into making you think that I was horrible.” Sirius explained. “I guess you realized that they’re a bunch of arseholes?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Regulus went on to talk about what they were expecting from him when he finished school next year. Regulus didn’t want anything to do with The Black Way. He was starting to sound like Sirius. He wanted out of the family. Sirius told him to call him, if he was being honest about it. Maybe they could work out their relationship? He didn’t like all these relationships up in the air.  
  
After parting with Regulus they went back up to Lily’s room, to find Remus, Josie, and Richard in the room. If he had still be with Remus he would have crawled on to his lap and shoved his face into the crook of his neck. Then they would sit and talk about what had happened with Reg and what Sirius should do. But they weren’t together. Sirius just walked over to Lily and sat on the edge of the bed, draping and arm around her shoulders. What a day.

***

Remus rolled over and let out a loud groan when the sun assaulted his eyes. Another night spent partying, when he probably should have been reading for one class or another. He was doing really well in his courses, so he wasn’t too worried about it. But he probably couldn’t keep up the partying for so long.  
  
The Swede was now studying at Kings to get a degree in history. Since Lily was no longer at school, Remus moved into a new flat with Marlene and Dorcas. Peter joined them as well, he was at City University for journalism.  
  
“Shite, where are my sodding pants?” A voice came from the other side of his room.  
  
“Håll käften.” Remus grabbed his other pillow and pulled it over his head.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Jag sa håll käften.”  
  
“I thought you spoke English last night?”  
  
Remus never understood why people insisted on chatting the morning after. Did they not feel as shitty as he did? He spouted off a few more things in Swedish and eventually the man let his room.  
  
In theory, he knew that he wasn’t going to fill that hole in his heart by shagging through half of London but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try it. Remus was so lonely without Sirius but he was just as lonely with these men too. It was not like he could talk to them, like how he always talked to Sirius. He worried that no one on the planet was ever going to understand him, like Sirius did. It was so easy with Sirius.  
  
After pulling himself out of bed, he threw on some clothes before going to the kitchen, where he could smell Saturday breakfast wafting through the flat. His stomach grumbled for something greasy.  
  
“That was a fit one.” Marlene said. “I’m glad your standards don’t drop, even when you’re pissed.”  
  
“Remus, ah, could we possibly talk?” Peter asked with a slight frown.  
  
Remus nodded, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to talk but his friends would probably just say what they were thinking no matter what.  
  
“Do you think… maybe… you could…” Dorcas waved her hand around.  
  
“What?” Remus raised an eyebrow and picked up a piece of bacon.  
  
“Do you think that you could not bring home strange men all the time at all hours in the morning? It’s not that we’re shaming you for having one night stands but, ah, it’s just loud sometimes.”  
  
Remus flushed and put a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think — fuck I’ve been so selfish.”  
  
“It’s okay, mate.” Pete said. “You can bring blokes home but just, maybe not every night and maybe keep it down some.”  
  
“Yeah, of course. I’m so sorry.” He took his hand from his face. “I’m a shite roommate.”  
  
“Hey, you broke up with the love of your life, of course you’re going to deal with it that way.”  
  
A week later Remus was back in Brackenwoods for the weekend to celebrate Josie’s birthday with everyone. Except for Sirius, who was on the road. Remus was thankful for that because he didn’t want to deal with it. He went over to the Potter’s after he got in to see Lilly, James, and Harry. Once Harry was put down, James took a call from Sirius. “When are you and James going to join him out there?”  
  
“Probably when Harry’s a year old. James is going to go out with him before the winter X Games, though. I’ll miss the git but Euphemia and Fleamont are a great help.”  
  
“I’m sure, they’re always there. If they’re not I’m sure Josie wouldn’t mind lending a hand.”  
  
“This is a nice family.” She said with a wistful smile.  
  
“I’m always thankful to be a part of it, you know? I was worried after breaking up with Sirius, I wouldn’t really be welcomed around here any longer. Well, outside of Josefina.”  
  
“It’s not like you cheated on him or did something terrible. Everyone knows it was inevitable with how much time you two spent apart or will spend apart.” Lily sat back on the sofa with her legs tucked under her. “They all love you, Euphemia said she misses you because you never visit her, even when you’re in the area.”  
  
Remus felt bad. He just assumed that the Potters wouldn’t want anything to do with him after hurting Sirius. “I guess I’ll just have to make more of an effort.”  
  
“You should, everyone cares about you.”  
  
He leaned closer to Lily to hug her.  
  
“Oi, mate, hands off my lady.” James snickered as he came back into the sitting room.  
  
“I’m not your lady, I’m your baby’s mother.” Lily sat back and stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
James looked offended. “Fine, you can have Remus but I have to break it to you, he’s quite gay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters might be a little shorter (between 1.5k and 2.5k) than the first 12 were (3.5k+) will be because of the little interaction between Remus and Sirius.
> 
> håll käften : Shut up  
> Jag sa håll käften: I said shut up


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus educates Peter on the “A”, he meets a new boyfriend, Sirius breaks a leg, Fleamont has a health scare, and Remus and Sirius talk.

Remus was sitting at his kitchen table, chewing on the end of his biro, and reading over one of the many history textbooks he constantly had his nose in recently. For his New Year’s resolution he declared he was going to focus on school and only go out on Fridays and Saturdays. He was only three weeks into it and it was going well so far. Hell, it was even a Saturday night and he was staying in instead of going out.  
  
Pete came trudging into the kitchen with a sour look on his face. He had just broke up with his girlfriend, Chrissy, the previous day and Remus worried he was going to stay hidden in his room for the entire weekend. “What’s wrong, Wormtail?”  
  
“Can we talk?” Peter sat across from him.  
  
“Last time you said that it was because I was shagging people loudly.” Remus laughed but stopped when Peter looked nervous. “That’s not it, is it? I haven’t brought anyone back here for a while now.”  
  
“No, that’s not it.”  
  
“Then what’s the matter, Pete? You can tell me any thing, you know?”  
  
“I know but this is… weird.”  
  
“We’ve talked about a lot of weird things in the past, haven’t we? I’m sure nothing you can say will make me uncomfortable.” Remus assured his best friend.  
  
“I, er, you know how Chrissy broke up with me?”  
  
“Yeah, what happened? Did she cheat on you?”  
  
“Not that I know of.” He put his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand.  
  
Remus frowned and bit his lip, trying to think of what could have happened. He was quiet while he waited for Peter to start talking again. Whatever it was seemed to be weighing heavily on him. He had never seen Peter look so distressed before.  
  
“I think something is wrong with me.”  
  
The Swede’s heart sank and he felt panic rise in his chest. “What’s the matter? Are you sick? Do you need to go to see a doctor? Or go to the hospital?”  
  
“No, no, I don’t think anything is wrong with me health wise or maybe there is. But… I, Chrissy broke up with me because I didn’t want to have sex with her.”  
  
Remus let out a long breath. “Jesus, I thought you were dying for a moment there. Don’t do that. Not that I’m saying you’re not having a real problem.” He assured his friend, quickly.  
  
“It’s okay. I know I’m weird.”  
  
“Why are you saying that?”  
  
“I don’t — I — fucking hell, I feel like an idiot.” Peter put his head against the table. “I must be broken or — I don’t know. I don’t want to have sex. I’ve never been interested in it.”  
  
He cocked his head to the side and thought. “Peter, there’s nothing wrong with you.”  
  
“Then why can’t I find someone who understands? I want a relationship but I just, I don’t want sex. Every girl I’ve dated has wondered why I wouldn’t shag them.” He finally lifted his head off the table.  
  
“Peter, do you know what asexuality is?” Remus asked his friend.  
  
“No…”  
  
“That’s because no one talks about it. But it’s under the LGBTQA. People assume A is just for allies but it’s for asexual. I think you should look into it. From what I understand there’s a whole asexual spectrum. Spend some time with google, I should think. But I would be careful of what sites you use.”  
  
Peter looked a little confused. “So… you’re saying that I’m not weird.”  
  
“Not where your sexuality is concerned.” Remus said with a playful tone.  
  
“Oi, what’s that mean?” He smiled and hit Remus in the shoulder. They talked a little longer about it before Peter decided that he was feeling better. He let out a long sigh and sat up straight. “Want to go grab a pint? Celebrate me not being a freak?”  
  
“I was trying to be good and stay in but I won’t say not to a pint or two.”  
  
“Excellent, we’ll just go down to the street, then? I’ll text the girls.”  
  
Remus agreed and thirty minutes later he was nursing a pint of lager and chatting with Peter, Marlene, and Dorcas at a table near the bar. “Mate, someone’s been checking you out since we got here.” Peter said, looking past Remus’ left shoulder.  
  
“What?” Remus was tempted to look over his shoulder.  
  
“He’s fit.” Dorcas commented.  
  
“I didn’t come out to pull tonight.” Remus shrugged, still not looking back.  
  
“How about you actually, oh, I don’t know, go on a date, you wanker?” Marlene gave him a critical look. “Don’t shag him tonight. Instead, get his name, number, and set up a date. Then maybe talk to him over dinner and drinks. You know, a relationship. It’s been well over a year since you broke up with Sirius, you know? We’re nearing two.”  
  
“Well, Sirius is his lobster.” Peter said.  
  
“What?”  
  
“It’s a Friends reference, never mind that. You need to get out there, still, you seem lonely.”  
  
Remus was still confused at Peter’s lobster comment and wondered if he was missing something in translation, even though that hadn’t happened in a long time.  
  
“Go on and talk to the bloke.” Marls urged him. “He’s wearing an Arcade Fire shirt.”  
  
Remus downed the rest of his lager before going over to the bar and finding the guy. He found him quickly seeing was wearing the shirt described. He had brown hair and brown eyes that poetically reminded Remus of dark chocolate. “Hi, I’m here to embarrass myself.” Remus said to him with a playful smile.  
  
“Hi, I don’t think you can.” The man bit his lip. “Your friends sold me out, didn’t they?”  
  
“You’re apparently obvious in your staring at me.”  
  
The man blushed. He had a heart shaped face and pouty lips and a cute little nose. “I’m Benjy, I hope you’re not going to chin me.”  
  
“No, I’m here to get your number and ask if you’d like a date.”  
  
“Me? Really? You’re having me on. You’re like a model.”  
  
Remus flushed. “You’re already getting a date, you don’t have to try anymore.”  
  
Benjy laughed and ran a hand through his short hair. “I’d like to keep trying, if that’s okay.”  
  
“That’s fine.” Remus laughed.  
  
They chatted for a while and soon Benjy’s mates came along to drag him off to a party but they exchanged numbers. The next day they went on a date and then another and another and soon they were in a relationship. Remus had a new boyfriend. As much as he liked being with Benjy, who was funny, sweet, and smart, he found himself comparing him to Sirius. He knew he shouldn’t have been doing that but he hoped, one day, that he would eventually get by it.

***

 _On the very first day of snowboarding competition, England’s hope, Sirius Black had his and his country’s dreams of a gold medal shattered. On the very first qualifying run of the Snow Cross event, Black had a collision with Marcel Brois, a French team member. Both men were going into a turn and Brois’ board clipped Black’s. This caused Black to lose control and sent both men to the ground. When everything settled Black was on the ground in agony. He had to be transported off of the slopes. We later found out the he suffered from a broken femur and ankle._  
  
_There’s no word on when Sirius Black is going to return to the slopes. There’s even talk of him retiring. We —_  
  
“RETIRING? FOR A BROKEN FUCKING LEG?” Sirius thew the magazine across his living room.  
  
“Mate, relax.” James shook his head. Lily glared at Sirius, hoping he didn’t wake Harry from his nap.  
  
“Skeeter is an idiot.” Lily picked up the magazine and put it on the coffee table.  
  
“I just need to take some time off until it heals. I’ve no plans on going anywhere.”  
  
“You’ll be back out there as soon as you can.” James nodded. “Are you okay, though? With, like, everything?” As much as James tried, he still wasn’t as easy to talk to about Sirius’ dark twisty feelings as Remus was. He was so tempted to call him when he was in the hospital and then when he got home the other day. But that probably wasn’t the thing to do.  
  
Remus did call and text a few times to check in him Sirius, though. It made him feel pretty good. But he knew it was only friendly, especially since Remus went out and got a new boyfriend. Sirius hated that the old jealously he had experienced when Marcus was around was rearing its stupid face again.  
  
Sirius’ ex had every right in the world to date someone else. They had been split for over a year. He wanted Remus to be happy. Maybe he was jealous that Remus could go out and date whenever he wanted and whoever he wanted. Sirius had a hard time doing that when his face was splashed all over the place. The snowboarder had no interest in going out to clubs and trying to shag. It was so unappealing to him.  
  
“I’m fine. Just down. I was supposed to be winning a medal or two a few weeks ago but now I’m stuck with a cast for months then rehab on the leg and all this other bullshite. But I’ll be okay.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Yes, I’m sure. You’re so insufferable.”  
  
“Yeah, caring about you. What twats we are.” Lily snorted as Harry started crying. “I think that, that is our call to get going.”  
  
The Potters left and Sirius was alone again. He resented his friends for either having to be at university or having a family to be with. Just like Remus, he wanted all of them to be happy except he hated that he could;t have everything he wanted. It wasn’t so bad when he was constantly training or competing. Sitting alone in his flat made him feel so isolated. He hated it.  
  
On of those days he decided to contact Regulus. His brother and him had been slowly opening up their communication again. Reggie had a lot to work on, separating himself from his parents. He couldn’t wait to finish school and move out of the Black household for good. They were expecting him to go to Oxford and do what the Black heir was supposed to do. Instead, he was planning on helping out Sirius in anyway he could and eventually studying to become a tattoo artist.  
  
A few weeks passed and Sirius was having Reg over for tea when the phone and rang and a hysterical Lily was on the phone. She told him that he had to come to St Mungo’s because Fleamont had had a heart attack and it didn’t look good. Sirius felt like he was going to collapse. He couldn’t lose the man that had been a father to him.  
  
“Reg, can you drive me to the hospital?” Sirius put his phone in his pocket and grabbed his crutches.  
  
“Of course.” Regulus looked worried as he stood up from the table.  
  
Ten minutes later they were on the way to St Mungo’s, where they met Euphemia, Lily, James, Harry, Josie, and Rachel. Chris and Richard were apparently on their way, coming back from a fishing trip. James let them know that Fleamont was in surgery and it would be a while until they heard anything else.  
  
They were all silent, eventually everyone got some tea or took a walk to stretch their legs. Four hours in Remus, Peter, Marlene, and Dorcas were all there. Oh, and Remus’ boyfriend. Who was holding Remus’ hand. Sirius felt a sharp pain in his chest and wondered if he was having a heart attack as well. At least he was already in a hospital.  
  
As they were all hugging everyone, Sirius mumbled something about more tea and slowly made his way down the hallway.  
  
“Are you all right?”  
  
Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Remus’ low baritone behind him. “Bloody hell, Moony, give a bloke some warning.” He let the old nickname slip.  
  
Remus made a funny face. “Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you’re not having a crisis and not telling anyone.”  
  
“You know me too well.”  
  
“Mmm, probably.” He shrugged. “But are you all right? I see Regulus is here.”  
  
“I’m not great.” He said honestly. “And Regulus is here because we’re actually getting on.”  
  
“That’s great. You always wanted a relationship with your family.”  
  
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Orion died and Walburga’s full wrath has been on him. Regulus must have had sense knocked into him.”  
  
“How do you feel about Orion dying?”  
  
“I did a dance and drank a bottle of champagne. Good riddance.” Sirius stepped away from the coffee machine to let someone else use it and leaned against the wall next to it. He didn’t want to move because he knew when they went back to the waiting room they would barely talk because every time the interacted half the room watched them like they were going to either fuck or fight.  
  
“And how’s the leg?”  
  
“Shite but it will get better. Did you see Skeeter started a rumor I was retiring?”  
  
“She’s terrible.”  
  
“How’s ah, your boyfriend?”  
  
Remus bit his lip and looked down. “He’s good. You seeing anyone?”  
  
“I can’t exactly…”  
  
“Right, the whole being in the closet thing.”  
  
Sirius let out a huff.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s not your fault.” Though, it sort of was his fault Sirius was alone… “We should actually get some tea and head back. I’m sure they’re going to wonder where we are.”  
  
“Yeah.” Remus reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know Fleamont is your dad and you care about him so much. I hope he’s okay because you deserve to have him in your life a lot longer.”  
  
Sirius felt tears stinging his eyes at the sincerity in Remus’ voice. “Thank you.” He sniffled and stepped out of Remus’ reach.  
  
“Let’s get you that tea.”  
  
Eventually they found out that Fleamont was going to be okay and everyone was so relieved. Sirius even talked to Benjy and he actually liked him. That made everything worse, really. It probably would have made life easier if he hated Remus’ new boyfriend. But he couldn’t, just like he couldn’t hate Remus. He just hoped one day he could find someone who made him just as happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter should be up to tonight, if you're reading this and there's nothing after it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie marries Richard, Euphemia encourages Sirius to talk to Remus, Sirius does, Remus make a little mistake, and then he takes a big step.

“…that is what makes your love so great. Both of you have gone through hell and back. You’ve had your own struggles and you acknowledge that you still hurt at times. But you compliment one another. You help each other out when the pain comes. You make each other smile. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we hope your love lasts forever. To Josefina and Richard.”  
  
“Josefina and Richard!”  
  
During Euphemia’s whole speech Sirius didn’t take his eyes off of Remus because some of the words seemed to echo how they felt about one another before. They had been dancing around each other since they had arrived at the hotel in St. Johns, where Josie and Richard were having their small wedding. Remus had brought Benjy, of course, but Benjy was busy studying for something to do with his medical degree. Sirius wasn’t sure exactly what it was but he didn’t really care because Remus was spending a lot of their free time without his boyfriend.  
  
“Come on, darling, have a dance with your mother.” Euphemia put a hand on Sirius’ elbow. They were in the hotel bar and the guests of the place were all invited in joining the small group of Josie and Richard’s friends and family.  
  
Sirius led Euphemia out on to the dance floor and swayed to the song playing. “You’re still love sick over him, aren’t you, Sirius?” She asked softly.  
  
“What?” He spluttered.  
  
She rolled her eyes and tapped his shoulder. “You still look at him as if he hangs the night sky.”  
  
“Am I that obvious?”  
  
“No, not to everyone. I think maybe to myself and Remus. Everyone else is too oblivious. Especially with everything else going on.” She snickered and looked over at Remus and Benjy, who seemed little grumpy all day. “Tell him that you love him still, Sirius.”  
  
“I can’t do that.” Sirius cleared his throat. “I’m still going after my career and he’s still going after his. He’s graduating in a year and he probably is already looking into jobs. We’re not going to be able to work it out. Plus, he’s happy with Benjy.”  
  
“Yes, he looks smitten right now.” Euphemia nodded towards the two, who were having a whispering argument now.  
  
“Every couple argues.” Sirius sighed. “Just because they’re not happy at the moment doesn’t mean anything. Benjy has doctor things going on and Remus is approaching finals. It’s a lot of stress. I don’t want to break their relationship up because I’m a pining arsehole who can’t stop thinking about his ex even after two years and five months.” He was so pathetic, he couldn’t believe it somedays.  
  
“Maybe he changed his stance on things?”  
  
“I doubt it.”  
  
“Don’t they have teaching jobs online now?”  
  
“I think he’d rather be in a classroom setting. He wants to follow in his father’s footsteps.”  
  
Euphemia sighed. “It’s a pity because you two are made for one another. In my opinion at least.”  
  
He agreed with her but he didn’t want to say it out loud. The song came to an end and he was pulled into dancing with Marlene, who was gabbing about how she wanted to marry Dorcas. It must have been wedding because James was going on about how he wished Lily would just say yes to a proposal for once.  
  
After the song was over he decided to slip out of the party and go out to the beach to get some fresh air and time to himself. Sirius could only stand looking at happy couples for so long and Peter wasn’t any solace because he was busy dancing with anyone available. He was always shocked at that boy’s love of dance and how much of the life of the party he was.  
  
When Sirius got out to the beach, he walked a little down the way to some rocks he had seen earlier when exploring. To his surprise he found Remus sitting there staring out into the inky darkness. “Remus, what are you doing here? Am I interrupting something with Benjy?”  
  
Remus scoffed and shook his head. “Nope.”  
  
Sirius frowned and took a seat in the sand next to him. He kicked off his shoes and sunk his toes into the cool sand. “Is everything okay?”  
  
“ Things are fine. He just… god I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”  
  
“Hey, if we’re going to work on being good mates again, we’ll have to talk about our significant others. We used to share our deep dark secrets with one another.”  
  
“True but I just don’t want to bother you with this.”  
  
Sirius pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs. “So, if it’s not bad, then it’s good?” He did not like that it was good. Sirius didn’t want Remus hurt but…  
  
“Er, yeah.” Remus took a deep breath. “He wants me to move in with him.”  
  
Sirius tried to train his expression, in case Remus was looking at him. “Isn’t that what you want though?” He hoped that he didn’t sound bitter about it.  
  
“Yeah, it is.” Sirius watched Remus trace lines in the sand absently. “It’s exactly what I want.”  
  
“Then why won’t you do it?”  
  
“I don’t know. It just, isn’t fast?”  
  
“It’s been what, a year now?”  
  
“Just about.”  
  
“Are you being a commitment-phobe, Remus? That’s shocking if you are.” Sirius vividly remembered a part of the reason they were not together was because they could not actually live together. Sirius thought that Remus would jump at the opportunity to live with his boyfriend. His stupidly nice, smart, future doctor boyfriend.  
  
“No, I’m not. It just seems like a lot of important stuff is happening this year, you know? Josie’s just got married again, I’m graduating in a year. Benjy wants me to move in. It’s just… I’m really missing my parents through all this aand I guess, I’m just, I don’t know, I’m putting it off.”  
  
Sirius, pretty much out of instinct, reached his arm out and put it around Remus’s shoulders. Remus, in turn, rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “I’m sure they’d be proud of you, Moony.” He smiled at his friend, softly.  
  
“I know, it’s not the same though.”  
  
Sirius just hugged him closer.  
  
“You know, how I have this fear of losing everyone that important to me?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“I — sometimes, I wonder if I keep people at arms length because of it.” Remus said quietly. “That has to be why I’m putting off moving in with Ben.”  
  
Sirius didn’t say anything because he didn’t have any words for it. Whenever it was like this before the two of them would just sit in silence and be there for one another. So that’s what he did. They sat there like that for a long time. Sirius started to wonder if the rest of the party had realized that they were both missing at once. If they had, they were going to hear about it. Hopefully Benjy didn’t notice because Sirius really didn’t want to make the bloke mad. He’d never see Remus again if that were true.  
  
“I’m going to head back.” Remus took a deep breath. “Thanks, Pads.”  
  
Sirius was about to say something but Remus leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius’ lips. Before Sirius could do something else about it, Remus was gone and taking off towards the hotel again.  
  
 Remus obviously still had some feelings for Sirius and Sirius hated him for it. Just like he hated him for being able to be in a relationship with another person. It wasn’t fair that Remus had all this freedom while Sirius seemed to have none. Had didn’t get to have any choice. Sirius was sure he was never going to be able to move on. He was going to die some old pining idiot. Didn’t Jane Austen die alone because she never got to be with the person she loved and she wrote sad stories about love? Or was it just that movie… either way he was on that type of road.  
  
When he got back to the party, he noticed that Benjy and Remus were gone. Euphemia came over to him and gave him a hug. Clearly something happened there. He didn’t care to know what.

***

Remus walked back to the party, feeling like an idiot. He had just kissed Sirius and ran off. They still had that something in between them and it was impossible for them to have a friendship like before. Not only did he make an ass of himself in front of Sirius and blow their chance of a friendship, he had a perfectly good boyfriend he was arguing with for nothing. Remus was a disaster.  
  
When he got back, he found Benjy at the bar and pulled him on to the dance floor. “I’m sorry, Benjy.” Remus kissed him firmly, like he was trying to convince himself that kissing Benjy made him feel more than it did to kiss Sirius. Fuck, he was an idiot. Sirius loved his career and Remus loved the idea of having his own future career. Benjy was a great guy, who loved him and wanted Remus to move in with him.  
  
“It’s okay, I know you’re stressed out.”  
  
“I’ve ruined a perfectly good vacation.”  
  
“Only about a day and a half of it.” Benjy joked. “But I get it. I didn’t mean to move so fast, love.”  
  
“I’ll move in with you. I swear.” Remus kissed his forehead. “But I have to give my roommates a bit of time to fill my spot for rent.”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.” Remus pulled away and took Benjy’s hand. “Come on, let’s go back to the room. That hot tub is pretty nice, isn’t it?”  
  
“Yes, let’s put it to some good use.” Benjy said with a sly grin.  
  
When Remus got back to London, he broke the news to his roommates, who told him it was okay to leave at the end of term because both Dorcas and Marlene had jobs lined up so rent wouldn’t be a stretch.  
  
Remus moved in with Benjy in June. Everything was easy and Remus was happy. But every so often, he wondered what it would have been like to have a place with Sirius. He would push it away when Benjy would make him breakfast in bed or fold his socks, how he liked them. He was happy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius defines himself a little more, he comes out of the closet, Remus is surprised, he moves home, and talks to Sirius.

“So, you’re asexual?” Sirius asked Peter. They were in Sirius’ flat during a spare weekend he had in his busy schedule.  
  
“Yeah. Is that okay with you?”  
  
“Of course it is and I don’t think you should give a shite about my feelings on it anyway.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I wonder sometimes if I’m asexual but then I remember how much I loved shagging Moony.” He heaved out a sigh. “I get this weird feeling in my stomach when I think about going out to a club and trying to pull. Everything about it just really puts me off. I don’t even like to wank that much.” Sirius said as he thought about it.  
  
“You know, you can still be asexual. There’s a spectrum.” Peter said with a flourish of his hands. “There’s demisexual, where you have to be really emotionally connected to someone to have a sexual relationship.”  
  
Sirius hummed and took a sip of his tea.  
  
“You can’t really have a deep emotional connection with anyone, if you’re not putting yourself out there, right?”  
  
Sirius nodded. “I can’t really put myself out there while being deep in the closet.”  
  
“Have you thought about, maybe, coming out? You could be a trail blazer. Gay rights are big now, aren’t they?”  
  
“Sort of fashionable.” Sirius snickered and crossed his legs. “So what, I come out and try looking for a relationship?”  
  
“I don’t know, do you want to come out?”  
  
“I do, a little. I’m just nervous.”  
  
“Mate, you’re a world champion snowboarder, you’re everywhere. Sponsors will look like shite if they drop you for your sexuality. Maybe more people will come out. You’ve always rebelled, haven’t you? What makes this any different?”  
  
“My career does.” Sirius pulled his legs up on to his seat to sit cross-legged.  
  
“I’m not going to push you out because that’s stupid and insensitive but I think that you could be one of those trail blazers.”  
  
“You have a lot of faith in me being a mouth piece.”  
  
“You are a smooth talker and you do like to talk.” Peter reminded him.  
  
A few days later, Sirius was sat with his laptop in bed. He had his Tumblr open and his mouse was hovering over the ‘text’ button. Sirius had spent the last few days looking into demisexuality. He came to the conclusion that it fit him and how he felt. He also was on the verge of just coming out. Sirius had been debating on coming out for a while now. He was just so sick of not being who he really was. There were only maybe one other person who he could think of that was out and a pro boarder. It seemed like there was even more of a need for the to be A Man in the extreme sport community. It wasn’t like there were gay athletes in ‘normal’ sport out left, right, and center but it just seemed like it was different.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles before clicking the button and soon he was typing:

> _So, I have a feeling that this is going to be a Huge Thing. I’m probably going to get a good talking to by some people. The media is going to hound me. I’m going to be doing endless interviews. People are going to make me out to be a sponsor or something for this whole… thing._  
>    
>  _So here we go. Deep breath… I’m gay. Like, really, super gay. I can hear my mates laughing about that from here. They’ll reblog this with some hilarious comments on my campness. But not only am I super gay, I am demisexual._  
>    
>  _Like me, a lot of you probably don’t know what that is. Hell, I just heard about it a few days ago. Maybe I’m a bad gay? Anyway. This means that I’ve no interest in sex unless it’s with someone I have a deep emotional connection with. So far, this is just one person. I thought maybe I was asexual but I really liked having sex with this bloke. Now, all demisexuals apparently don’t always have as much interest in sex with their partner, like I did. I just wanted to make that clear. You should go read about it if you have questions because I’m no expert._  
>    
>  _Now, I haven’t been able to get into a relationship because I’ve been hiding who I am since I started boarding. I always kept my sexuality out of it. Sometimes I wonder if it was a part of the reason my boyfriend and I broke up. Anyway, that was years ago and I feel like a pining baby about it sometimes. I want to move on, totally, but I can’t when I’m stuck in the closet._  
>    
>  _As I type this I wonder if it will even be easy to find someone to date after this anyway. I’m not even sure how to pursue someone. My ex and I met in school and dated until he started Uni. We broke up because of long distance, we knew it just wasn’t going to work. We both were going in different directions. I just hope that he doesn’t think that I want him to change my mind or I’m making some grand romantic statement. He has a great partner right now and I only wish them all the best._  
>    
>  _I’m just trying to work out my feelings here and the world is going to read this. I’m feeling like a bit of a twat now. Ugh, I’ll end this now before I make any more of a fool of myself (like saying that I listened to “It’s Cool We Can Still be Friends” by Bright Eyes over and over and over again after my breakup). I’ll end it like this: When my uncle died, I found that he had left me with a sizable fortune to help me pursue my dreams. In a letter, he wrote:  Do what you love. Love who you love. Find your true happiness. I always hope to stay true to his words and I think with this post, I’m making a step in the direction to bring all those together. Have a lovely day everyone. I’m sure you’ll hear from me again soon._

***

 _Sky Sports Interview June 5th, 2012_  
  
**Kingsley:** _That being said, it must have been a tough choice to come out, Sirius._  
  
**Sirius (laughs and rolls his eyes):** _I thought about it for a while and I just sort of just had it. I needed to put myself out there and show people you can be who you are and do what you want to do._  
  
_**Kingsley:** Trying to live up to your uncle’s words?_  
  
**Sirius:** _You could say that, yeah._  
  
**Kingsley:** _You said to me before we started that you’re sick of being called brave. Why’s that?_  
  
**Sirius:** _God, yeah, it’s just annoying. I’m just me, there’s so many people like me out there. We shouldn’t have to be brave to be ourselves. Also, there are people who come out that are in terrible situations, where they have to actually be brave. They face discrimination daily. I have money and a wonderful support system. Many others aren’t lucky like I am. I, just, I don’t know, I don’t like being called brave for it. I think when I was younger with my family I had to be brave but I don’t think I ever was._  
  
**Kingsley:** _You had a tough relationship with your family then? You never talk about it._  
  
**Sirius (his eyes are dark and solemn):** _My family is old money, my dad was a Lord, they’re all super religious. I didn’t have a great emotional upbringing. I was disinherited because I was gay — I got caught snogging my boyfriend. When I was sixteen I was out of the house and emancipated at seventeen. I suffered a lot of abuse. But I got out and I have the best found family on the face of the planet._  
  
_**Kingsley (nodded):** I’m sorry about that._  
  
**Sirius:** _Don’t be, I’m happy now._  
  
**Kingsley:** _So, you talked a lot about your ex in your blog entry. Do you still see him? You mentioned you met in school as friends._  
  
_**Sirius:** We’re actually friends, er, sort of I guess. Not as good as before we were dating. But him and his aunt and her husband are apart of my found family. It’s hard not to see him when there’s something going on._  
  
**Kingsley:** _And is that hard?_  
  
**Sirius:** _The first time or two it was hard but it’s been years. It’s not as hard now._

***

Remus tried not to look over a Benjy as the interview wrapped up. They had accidentally stumbled upon it when flipping through the channels that night. Remus had read what Sirius had written about not being able to properly move on and he knew that Benjy was aching to ask questions. He really wished they didn’t watch the interview but it was hard to pass by.  
  
“So? You still fancy him too?”  
  
“What?” Remus furrowed his brow and looked over glared at him. “No. He doesn’t fancy me anymore. He just couldn’t properly move on.”  
  
“I don’t know, I’ve seen how he looks at you.”  
  
Remus muttered a few expletives in Swedish and ran a hand through his curls. “I love you.”  
  
“Remus, I think we should break up.”  
  
The Swede’s heart dropped and he stood up. “What are you talking about?” He clenched his fist.  
  
“Look, you’ve been talking to the headmaster at Hogwarts, you’re going to go back to Brackenwoods and I’ll be here in London. That’s a four hour ride. It’s better if we just ended it now.”  
  
“I can’t believe it.” Remus put a hand over his face. This was out of left field, they had been doing just fine. He knew that if he took the job at Hogwarts, then they would probably end up breaking up. Remus felt like he was never going to find someone to love who stayed in the same place.  
  
“You still love him, Remus. You’re daft if you don’t think you do.”  
  
Remus closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t love Sirius anymore, he loved Benjy. He was never going to have a long term boyfriend again.  
  
A week later, Remus was in his old room, listening to The National and smoking a joint. He decided it was a good idea to call Sirius at some point. He reached out for his phone and without thinking, he called his ex. “Remus, hiya. How you doing?” Sirius sounded chipper.  
  
“Oh, lovely. I’m living back at home and I’m alone.”  
  
“No… Benjy broke up with you?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“Why? Fuck, don’t answer that. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything about you. It was just hard to explain why I was demi and I — fuck I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay, Sirius. He was the one who was insecure and unable to see that we’re over.” Remus wished that there was more truth to his statement. How could he still want Sirius after so long? “How are you? I’ve noticed you’ve been busy.”  
  
“Yeah, just a bit.” Sirius snorted. “I sort of poured everything out there online but I think I did the right thing.”  
  
“I think you did too. I’m pretty proud of you. I know how scared you were about coming out. I’m glad you did it on your own terms. It could have eventually just got out on its own, you know?”  
  
“Are you stoned? You have your stoned voice.”  
  
Remus took a hit and rolled his eyes. “I have a stoned voice?”  
  
Sirius laughed. “Yes.”  
  
“Maybe a little.”  
  
“Mate, you sound pretty far gone.”  
  
“Well, not much else to do round here. All our friends live in London. James and Lils are out with you. I only have the parents.”  
  
“Not so bad. You could be totally alone.”  
  
Remus smiled, putting the joint out in his ashtray. “Yeah, I could be.”  
  
“So, he broke up with you? Why, exactly?”  
  
“Oh, he thought we still loved one another. He thought that I was going to leave him for you eventually. He thought that I would cheat on him when we were in a long distance relationship.”  
  
“Wait, long distance?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m back in Brackenwoods not only because I’ve been broken up with but because I’m going to be working at Hogwarts this fall. I’m going to be teaching history.”  
  
“That’s brilliant! That’s what you wanted.” Sirius said excitedly. “Why don’t you sound happier about it?”  
  
Remus took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”  
  
“You’re sad. You’re getting stoned and listening to The National, you’re not happy.”  
  
“Least I don’t listen to Bright Eyes.”  
  
“Oi!”  
  
“I’m surprised it wasn’t Panic! At The Disco, they must have sad songs.”  
  
“Says the man who used to have Love Song by The Cure as my ringtone.”  
  
Remus laughed and rolled over on to his stomach.  
  
“So, you’re not happy. Will you be?”  
  
“I sure hope so. Are you happy? Coming out?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s going a lot better than I ever imagined it to go.”  
  
“Good. Hey, Sirius?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I miss hanging out with you. Like, just sitting around and listening to music and all that.”  
  
“Me too.” Sirius sounded like he was smiling.  
  
“I’ll let you go, you’re probably busy.”  
  
“Ah, yeah, I’m about to go out with the Potters for dinner. If you need anything, call. I don’t like you sad.”  
  
They said their goodbyes and Remus curled up, feeling a bit better about things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re ignoring the stuff you have to do to be a teacher full time because it’s fiction and I have a timeline, dammit


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is fired, Sirius offers him a job, he talks to James, Sirius breaks up with Fabian, Remus is there for him, they talk, and Regulus finds out.

“Remus, you’re a brilliant teacher.” Albus Dumbledore leaned on the desk, pushing his glasses up his nose.  
  
Remus felt his heart sink, he had a feeling this was coming because he had been hearing murmurings of budget cuts the last months of school. He had loved teaching at Hogwarts, it was a dream. His test scores were great, the kids loved him, and he got to teach how he wanted to teach. But when he heard that they were going to be trimming the staff, he was sure that he was going to be one of the first only, only because that’s just how it worked. “Sir, are you firing me?”  
  
“Letting you go, sadly. Be sure to know that it’s not firing, Mister Lupin. You’re are amazing at what you do but there’s no way around it. I’m sure you’ve heard of the budget cuts. I had to let go of the newest teachers because of the contracts and such. I’m so, sorry Remus, I understand that this must be difficult. Maybe in another time you’ll be able to join out team permanently. Until then, I wish you the best of luck. If you ever need a recommendation, I won’t hesitate to give you a brilliant one.”  
  
The Swede felt like he could never hold on to the things that he truly loved. First he lost his parents. Then he moved away from his best friends. Then he had to let go of Sirius, on top of that not seeing James as much because he was always with him. Then Remus lost another boyfriend because of distance and Benjy assuming he couldn’t love him as much as he loved Sirius. He never saw Peter or the girls in London because they were always too busy. Yes, he had Josie and the Potters and the Pettigrews but it wasn’t the same. He just felt so freaking alone. Remus didn’t know what to do.  
  
“If there’s anything I can do to help, other than a reference, please let me know.”  
  
“Thank you, Sir. That would be really appreciated. It was an honor working here. Thank you.” Remus said before he burst into tears or started yelling at his now former boss in Swedish. Either way, he had to get out of there.  
  
He practically ran out of the headmaster’s office and out of the school. Remus hated pretty much everything.  
  
Thankfully, classes had been over for about a week so Remus didn’t have to pack his things up. It was only one in the afternoon but he needed a drink. He went down to the pub he had gone to with some of the other teachers before, not far from the school, and plopped himself down at the bar. Someone was probably going to have to peel him off of the ground and carry him home with the way he was thinking about drinking.  
  
That was probably some alcoholic tendency but Remus didn’t want to entertain that idea at the time. He only wanted to get wasted. Wankered. Pissed. Every other British synonym for getting fucking drunk.  
  
Three whisky’s in, the barkeep, Tom, slid a glass of water over to him. “Bloke in the booth over there ordered this for you. Said to keep hydrated because you look like you’re in it for the long haul.”  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow and looked to the booth, which Tom had pointed to. He had expected to see really anyone but Sirius, smiling and waving at him, but that’s who was there. He nearly fell off of the stool as he got down to go over to see his friend, taking his whisky and water with him.  
  
“What’s wrong? You look terrible. Don’t you know we’re back in town this week?” Sirius complained as Remus took a seat.  
  
“You are?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s Fleamont’s birthday and we have nothing on so we’re back here for pretty much the rest of the month. They want me to take some time off before we start really getting into the whole Olympics training and shite.”  
  
“Brilliant.” Remus looked into his whisky.  
  
“What’s happened? We haven’t talked in months now.”  
  
Last time he had talked to Sirius, he had found out that he was dating a skier, Fabian Prewett. Remus felt a little jealous so he tried not to bring it up.  
  
“Oh, I was fucking let go.”  
  
Sirius looked taken aback. “What? Why? I heard from Euphemia, that the kids love you. You know how the town gossips.”  
  
“Well, it wasn’t enough to save me from budget cuts.”  
  
“God, Remus, I’m so sorry. I know that was such a goal for you. But something else will come up.” Sirius paused. “Actually, I have a brilliant idea.”  
  
“What would that be?”  
  
“Come tutor Haz. He’s going to be four. I had a tutor at four. I know you’ll be brilliant. I’m sure you can look into what you can teach him. You can came join us out on the road then too. Be there for the Olympics. It would be brilliant. Peter’s coming too. He’s going to write some freelance stuff. I told him, I’d finance him if he was really serious. It’ll be good for his career.”  
  
Remus nodded. “I was thinking about getting my masters, maybe a PhD, to become a professor. Maybe I could look into some classes online, see if it’s possible for me to do that.” He really missed being with his friends and in the last year had broken up with his serious boyfriend and lost a dream job, all after graduating from university. He needed a bit of a mental break. Being around everyone would probably be a great idea.  
  
“See, I’m bloody brilliant.” Sirius grinned.  
  
“Why are you here alone?” Remus asked after a beat.  
  
“I was craving their burger and chips and everyone would yell at me for not eating healthy enough.” Sirius snorted a laugh. “Are you coming over for Fleamont’s party on Saturday?”  
  
“I was planning to.”  
  
“Good!” Sirius said excitedly. “I can’t remember the last time we were all together outside of Josie and Rich’s wedding. Are you being real about joining us on the road?”  
  
“If James and Lil really want a tutor and if you really want me there.”  
  
“I’m sure they’ll want you and of course I want you there. It’s going to be so much fun.” Sirius beamed at him.  
  
“So, still dating Fabian?” Remus couldn’t help himself in asking him.  
  
“Yeah but, eh, we don’t see each other much so it’s not like anything deep yet. He’s rather patient about things, so that’s good. With the Olympics coming up we’ll both be in the same place for a bit.”  
  
“Yeah, if he wasn’t good to you then you shouldn’t be dating him. Glad he is.” Remus ran a finger around the rim of his glass. “Do you want it to be more?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Sirius shrugged. “He’s nice but, I just don’t feel it yet.”  
  
“Maybe if you gave it sometime.”  
  
“True, we’re both pretty busy.” Sirius said. “It’s weird we’re talking about this, isn’t it?”  
  
Remus laughed, feeling jealous twisting in his chest. “I don’t know. Maybe we’ve finally moved back to the stage of being friends.” He desperately wanted that to be true but he knew they would never be so close again. It was impossible. Even with their forced closeness of Remus tutoring Harry.  
  
The next day James stopped by Josie’s to see what Remus was doing and to chat. “What is it, Prongs?” He asked as they sat out in the garden, drinking a beer. “You look like you have a train of thought in mind.”  
  
“You want to come out with us and tutor Harry or is Sirius just talking big?”  
  
“If you want me to do it, I’ll definitely look into how exactly you tutor a four year old.”  
  
James snorted.  
  
“The last year for me was a sort of tough. I think it might be good for me to spend time with you all again.”  
  
“Are you going to try to get back with Sirius?” James asked bluntly.  
  
“He has a boyfriend.” Remus felt himself blush.  
  
“That doesn’t answer my question, does it?”  
  
“No.” Remus said quietly, not looking at James. As oblivious as James could be, he seemed to always be able to see when one of his friends were upset.  
  
“I think that you should, mate. Fab’s a nice bloke but Sirius doesn’t love him. They’re just mates, really. Sirius tries to make it more but it’s impossible.”  
  
“We broke up for reasons. Just because I’m going to take a year off of life, doesn’t mean that I’m going to quit my dreams and settle for his.”  
  
“Maybe you should talk about the future with him. You never know what could happen.” James shrugged. “He can’t do this forever and he’s won nearly every big title he can outside of an Olympic gold.”  
  
Remus nodded but he wasn’t sure if he could put himself through anymore heartbreak. He figured just being involved in Sirius’ life again for a little while would be nice. After the Olympics, he could start looking for teaching jobs again or go back to school.  
  
Three weeks later, he was in Aspen with the Potters, Peter, and Sirius. They were all living together in a beautiful house near the slopes when they weren’t out on the road and he was teaching Harry developmentally appropriate things. Remus decided that the kid was going to be the smartest little thing by the time he went to school.  
  
Things with Sirius were completely platonic. They didn’t spend a lot of time alone together because one of the Potters or Peter were always there. Remus was happy about it though because he didn’t want to make things awkward. The situation was easy and a lot like how they were when they were in school together. Plus, Sirius was still with Fabian. He wasn’t going to break up the first real relationship Sirius had had since they had split. Even though, some nights, he thought about going across the hall and climbing into bed with Sirius. That’s all he wanted, really. He could only lie to himself for so long.

***

Sirius thought he should have been happier, really. He was constantly surrounded by his friends— his family, really. He had a new boyfriend, who was extremely understanding and sweet about him not wanting to shag. He was going to be going to the Olympics, hopefully he had a chance to redeem himself out there and actually make it passed a qualifier. But there was something that was missing. That something happened to be right within his reach but he was sure that Remus had moved on or wouldn’t want to risk another heartbreak.  
  
For Christmas, Sirius took a little time out of his schedule to bring his found family together under one roof. Well, two roofs. Sirius took his friends, including the Marauders, the girls, Regulus, and the Prewett twins into one chalet in the French Alps and the one next door was the parents. He was sharing a room with Fabian and he spent a lot of time trying to figure out if he felt anything more than a nice, easy friendship with the other man. From what he figured out what that he got nothing close to the feelings of how things were with Remus. How he still felt about Remus. But he really didn’t want to break up with Fabian over Christmas. It felt a bit tacky and he had invited him before he figured it all out.  
  
The boarder also realized that their relationship was going to be reported on by some bloggers and gossip sites or magazines because they were both internationally known, soon to be Olympians. Sirius wasn’t looking forward to that part, at all. He liked keeping his relationships private. He never liked talking about what his personal life was like. The only exception was the post where he came out because that was on his terms, he wasn’t asked to do it. Hell, his management team had told him not to do it. Maybe it was a little bit of rebellion. Plus, they were going to be wondering if he and Fab had shagged because the media was gross. He never really liked talking about sex, only with Remus.  
  
“I feel like such an ass.” Remus said, laying on his back in the snow. He had managed to hit a rut not even a second into going down the trail. “Just go without me. The rest of them are already so far ahead. Leave me hear to be buried in the snow.” Remus complained.  
  
“You know, people always say I’m dramatic but I don’t think they hear how much you are.” Sirius stuck his hand out for Remus. They were on the slopes the day after Christmas. He was on his last day off before he had to go back to Breckenridge, Colorado with the rest of team GB for he Olympics. It was just going to be him going off until he had some time to go home to Brackenwoods to spend time with everyone before going to Russia for the games.  
  
“I don’t know why I always let you guys talk me into getting on to a snowboard.”  
  
“You’re pretty good on it.” Sirius helped his friend up. “Better than a skateboard.”  
  
“Which I have only stepped on once.”  
  
“And you nearly fell off.”  
  
“But you caught me.” Remus said with a slight smile and for some reason Sirius’ stomach did a little flip.  
  
“Yeah, sort of failed at getting you here.”  
  
“But you did stay. The rest of our friends are shit.”  
  
Sirius laughed and looked down the trail. “Come on, we’ll take it slow and get a drink after. The rest can bugger off for leaving us behind.”  
  
The journey down the mountain was slow but nice, Sirius felt like he hadn’t just enjoyed his surroundings while on a board in a long time. It was also nice to be talking to Remus for so long, alone too. They talked about mundane things but it was so much more lively than it ever was with Fabian — anyone else. When they got off the slopes they went to get a drink in the bar in the lodge. They sat by the fire and enjoyed their hot toddies by themselves when they saw no signs of anyone else.  
  
They didn’t get back to the chalet until late and everyone was sitting around drinking and chatting loudly. Because he was trying to stay in good shape and he had a flight to catch fairly early, Sirius wasn’t drinking much at all. He stuck with water, since the two hot toddies he had hit his drink limit for the day. By the time he and Fabian had gone to bed, Fab was a little more than pissed.  
  
Sirius was kissing Fabian, in hopes of getting the man to sleep sooner than later. Every so often Fabian’s hand would wander down to Sirius’ crotch and the snowboarder would slap it away. When it happened for the third time Sirius pushed him away and sat up. “You know I don’t want to do anything, for fuck sakes.” Sirius glared down at him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  
  
“I don’t know, you invited me on holiday — I thought maybe you finally felt something for me.” Fabian frowned.  
  
Sirius shook his head.  
  
“Will you, ever feel something for me? It’s not because of the sex but just our future in general. I can’t stay with someone who doesn’t have any real feelings for me.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Fab…”  
  
“So, we’re done?”  
  
Sirius rub his eyes. “I didn’t want to break up with you on holiday.”  
  
“So, you were planning on leaving me? After?”  
  
“Yeah but… I didn’t think about it until recently. It wasn’t on to invite you then break up with you?”  
  
“So you strung me along instead?” Fabian sat up.  
  
“I didn’t know what I should have done.”  
  
Fabian didn’t say a word, he just flopped back down and pulled the covers up.  
  
Feeling completely uncomfortable, Sirius got out of bed and shuffled out of his room. He thought about going downstairs to sleep on the sofa but he heard a few voices and some laughter. He really needed to get some sleep before traveling to keep his immune system up. He couldn’t risk getting sick right now. He looked the closed door of Remus’ room for a solid minute before he walked over to it and knocked. A minute later Remus opened the door, looking sleepy. “What’s wrong, Padfoot?”  
  
“I — I’m sorry I woke up but… I can come in and explain this because…”  
  
Remus frowned but stepped aside to let Sirius in. “What happened?” He asked after closing the door.  
  
“I broke up with Fabian.” Sirius felt tears welling in his eyes. He wasn’t sure why because he was relieved that he had broke up with him.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Remus put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“I can’t sleep in there with him because it’s uncomfortable and I can’t sleep downstairs because it sounds like Marls, Mary, Lily, and Em are still up.”  
  
“You want to sleep in here…” Remus furrowed his brow.  
  
“If that’s okay. I — I need to sleep and I…”  
  
“It’s fine, yeah, come on.”  
  
They settled into bed, after far away from each other they could possibly get. Sirius turned on to his side so he could face Remus, who was staring up at the ceiling. “What happened?”  
  
“I wouldn’t have sex with him.”  
  
“The bastard broke up with you because you wouldn’t let him fuck you?” Remus went to sit up but Sirius stopped him.  
  
“No — he… he kept trying to get in my pants tonight and I told him I didn’t want to and he stopped but he asked me if I would ever feel anything for him.”  
  
“And you said no.”  
  
“And I said no.” Sirius clarified. “I’ve tried and he’s great but…” He’s not you, Sirius thought.  
  
Remus turned on to his side. “How’d he try to get in your pants? Did he make you feel uncomfortable? Are you afraid he’d try something if you stayed in there?”  
  
“Calm down.” Sirius snickered, reaching out to push Remus’ curls back. “He just kept putting his hand on my cock, over the pants. Three times until I told him to stop.”  
  
“He should have stopped the first time.” Remus’ jaw clenched.  
  
“Remus, don’t murder him. It’s taken care of.”  
  
“He made you uncomfortable enough to make you leave the room. This is your chalet. He should have left the room. He should have left the place.”  
  
“He’s drunk.”  
  
“Doesn’t give him the excuse to do that to you.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Remus huffed then closed his eyes. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Sirius paused. “I’d feel better if I could cuddle you.”  
  
Remus’ face split into a grin. “Yeah, sure, come here.”  
  
“You come here and spoon me.”  
  
Remus did as asked and soon Sirius felt like mush. He was so comfortable in Remus’ arms, he could cry. “I miss you.” Sirius whispered.  
  
“I’m always around.” Remus’ voice rumbled through his body.  
  
“Not like this.”  
  
“As much as I want to talk about this, it’s late and I’m a little drunk.”  
  
Sirius’ heart sunk a little.  
  
“Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow?”  
  
“I’ve a flight to catch, probably before you wake up.”  
  
Remus stroked his stomach and nuzzled into his neck. “Okay, when do I see you again?”  
  
“Not until right before Sochi.” Sirius put his hands over Remus’.  
  
“Okay, let’s talk then.”  
  
“Okay. I feel like that’s forever away, though.”  
  
“I think we can wait a few weeks, we waited this long. I think will also give us both a chance to work out things ourselves? I’m sure we both have a lot to go over personally.”  
  
“Yeah.” Sirius worried that Remus was going end up saying no to him.  
  
“Good.”  
  
Sirius felt the lightest brush of lips against the back of his neck and he shivered. “I’m so happy like this.”  
  
“Me too.” Remus hugged him together and soon they both drifted off to sleep without another word.  
  
The next morning, Sirius woke up in a frenzy. Surprisingly, Remus slept through Sirius’ alarm on his phone going off. When he stumbled out into the hall, Regulus was there, about to knock on Sirius’ door with his mobile in his fans. “What are you doing coming out of there?”  
  
“Nothing.” Sirius shrugged. “I broke up with Fabian and needed a place to stay.”  
  
“So you slept with your ex-boyfriend?” Regulus raised an eyebrow.  
  
“He might not be an ex for so long.” Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. “At least that’s what I’m hoping.”  
  
“Good, you’re still mad about him.” Regulus nudged him. “Come on, we’re running late.”  
  
Sirius couldn’t wait to get back to Manchester and talk everything out with Remus. He hoped that Remus would just take him back without any debating. The few weeks between seeing one another was probably the best thing for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Out of the Woods by TSwift came on my shuffling while I was rereading this chapter and I decided that the song needed to be added to my wolfstar playlist. Especially for this fic.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus picks up Sirius, they nap, they make up, Sirius wins some medals, and they scandalize Russia.

**When I get in, meet me @ the airport? Plz**  
  
Remus smiled at his phone when he saw the text from Sirius the day before he was expected back. They hadn’t texted much between Christmas and mid January but he thought that, that was good. He took time to think about what he wanted to talk about with Sirius, instead of just jumping into things impulsively. They had to be adults about it because Remus couldn’t get his heart broken again and he couldn’t break Sirius’ heart again. But he came to the conclusion that he needed to be with Sirius and they had to work things out because clearly, they were meant to be with one another.  
  
 _I’ll be there. Send me the details._  
  
The next day, Remus was standing in arrivals waiting for Sirius to stroll through the doors. He was a little anxious, thinking about how they were probably going to be talking about a lot of things that may hurt. Remus was almost surprised when he saw Regulus with Sirius. Then he felt like an idiot because he wasn’t going to leave his brother and assistant back in Colorado with nothing to do. But he wondered what that meant for the rest of their day because they couldn’t talk with Reg tagging along. Not that he minded the little brother. Regulus just didn’t really fit into their talking.  
  
“Hey, there, Remus.” Regulus grinned at him like he knew something that Remus didn’t. He took that as a good sign.  
  
Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and rested his forehead on the Swede’s shoulder. “That flight was shite. I need a kip.”  
  
Remus hugged him back. “Well, I’ve my car. I’ll drop you both off at your flats.” Not that meant going to two locations, Sirius had purchased Reg a flat in the same building as him. Remus was so happy that they had made it through their difficult past because Sirius deserved to have someone who was blood that loved him. The Black brothers got on so well now, you wouldn’t have any idea what it had been like in the past.  
  
“You’ll come along. We still need to talk.” Sirius pulled back from him so they could start walking.  
  
“You don’t want to wait until you’re not exhausted?”  
  
“We can talk after a kip.”  
  
“He’s saying he wants a cuddle.” Regulus clarified as the walked outside.  
  
“Oh, I can do that.” Remus laughed and twirled his car keys around his index finger.  
  
It wasn’t long until they were at the flat and Sirius was collapsing into bed. Remus tried to get him to eat something but Sirius was pretty much asleep as soon as he hit the pillow. So Remus curled up with him, not expecting to fall asleep because it was only 4 in the afternoon. But the safety he felt with Sirius so close, led him to drift off.  
  
When he woke up Sirius was looking at him with a tentative smile. “Hi.”  
  
“Hej.” Remus smiled back and cleared his throat. “What time is it?”  
  
“Two in the morning.”  
  
“Shit.” Remus chuckled. “I thought if anything I’d take a short nap.”  
  
“Yeah, my buggered up sleeping schedule has now buggered yours up.” Sirius smiled softly. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s all right.” Remus sighed. “So, we should probably talk.”  
  
“We probably should.” Sirius frowned. “How’d your thinking go?”  
  
“Fairly well. How about you?”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“I don’t know what to say.” Remus sighed. “I hurt you last time and I felt like shit. I don’t want to do that again.”  
  
Sirius nodded. “I don’t want to go through that again. But I was thinking, I know that you don’t want to do the distance thing and you want to teach.”  
  
“Right.”  
  
“Well, ah, I was going to only do one more Olympics after this, then I was going to retire. I don’t know what I want to do after but I think that I could find something. But I was going to cut back on competitions in skateboarding and only focus on snowboarding. So, I was thinking, maybe we could work it, somehow. Only four more years of this.”  
  
Remus let out a long breath. “You’re not giving up your dreams for me, are you?”  
  
“I’ve won everything but a gold medal in the Olympics. I’ve reached my goals for the most part. I want one more go at after this year. Then, I’m all yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”  
  
“Are you serious?”  
  
“I’m always Sirius.” He grinned but then he bit his lip. “Really, Remus. I haven’t stopped loving you in the, what, five years since we broke up. I can’t live without you anymore. It’s been painful for you to be so close the last few months but not being able to be with you. I didn’t want to break up with Fab because I was so scared that you didn’t want me to be with me anymore.”  
  
“I always wanted to be with you. I was an idiot to suffer through so long without you.” Remus put a hand on Sirius’ hip. “I tried hard to forget how much I cared about you. I did a fairly good job of it, since I had a long term, live-in boyfriend. I was just fooling myself though because it’s only you that I love.”  
  
“We’re daft. We did this when we first got together.”  
  
“I think it was good though, that we spent that time apart. I know it hurt but I think it helped us. I don’t think we could have been happy, one of us would have ended up resenting the other at some point. We can do it proper this time, last time we were just teenagers in love. This time, we’ve a plan and we’re like real adults.” Remus moved forward and kissed his forehead.  
  
“Real adults. That’s strange.” Sirius laughed.  
  
“I love you, Sirius and I’m going to tell you that all the time. I hope you know that it’s coming.”  
  
“I love you too. I’ll tell you even more.”  
  
“Not everything is a competition.” Remus grinned and his stomach growled. “Do you have anything to eat in here? I’m going to say no because you haven’t been here in ages.”  
  
“You’d be correct. There’s an all night chippy down the way, if you want.”  
  
“I’m always a fan of greasy fish and chips. That’s probably not in you nutritional diet.” Remus teased.  
  
“Don’t tell on me.” Sirius said before pressing a soft, sweet kiss to Remus’ lips. “Come on, let’s eat.”  
  
They bundled up and headed out to get their fill of some wonderful greasy food, holding hands the entire way. It felt so easy to slip right into their old relationship. After so many years apart, Remus thought a little more work would have to go into it but it was just easy. Just like it had been when they first started dating. Their relationship was always so simple to fall into, it was safe and comfortable, and they both trusted each other immensely.  
  
“Do you know what you’re going to do the next four years? Not that I’m pushing you or anything, just curious.” Sirius asked as they walked back to the flat, this fingers intertwined in Remus’ coat pocket.  
  
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll teach Harry and work on getting another degree like we talked about before.”  
  
“Good because you’re going to be the sole breadwinner when I’m retired, you know.” Sirius said, jokingly.  
  
“You’ve enough money to support us without either of us working. I’m a trophy boyfriend again.”  
  
“You are very pretty.” Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
They ended up falling asleep again when they got back to the flat. Both of them were a little emotionally exhausted for getting back together, apparently. Remus’ phone woke them up at ten in the morning, reminding them that they were supposed to be at brunch with everyone. They hurried around each other to get ready and soon were out the door, taking Sirius’ bike the short way. It was freezing but they bundled up. There were no spots to be found near by so Sirius let Remus off the bike and he went in to find that they were the last to arrive.  
  
“Where were you?” James asked. “You’re always early.”  
  
“Oh, overslept.” He figured he’d wait to tell them the news until Sirius joined them. “I’ve got to go to the loo, be right back.” He hurried off.  
  
When he got back to the table, Sirius was there, taking off the layers he had on to fight against the weather. “So, you show up late minutes apart and you’re both in very moods…” Lily said, looking at them with a slight raise in her eyebrow.  
  
“You’re back together, aren’t you?” Josefina asked, hopeful.  
  
Remus took the seat next to Sirius and leaned over to his kiss boyfriend. “Yes, we’re back together. We worked it out last night.”  
  
The whole table let out a cheer like Sirius had just won a medal or something. Remus was sure he heard Peter say something about a lobster? He rolled his eyes at how absurd his friends and family were but he looked over to see Sirius beaming. Remus couldn’t believe the journey it took to get them there, together and happy again. But it didn’t matter what happened in the past because he had Sirius. He had someone who understand his emotions and that he had bad days. He had someone who loved him, unconditionally and who knew him inside and out. He was so happy he felt like he was soaring.

***

Sirius practically skipped into the hotel where everyone was staying in Sochi. So far he hadn’t traveled outside the Olympic village and this hotel was just outside. He wondered if he would be arrested just for being so damn happy and gay. But he put those thoughts aside as he traveled up to Remus’ hotel room. The snowboarding events started tomorrow. He had managed to qualify for every event. When he says managed, he means he worked hard and did everything he could in order to be the best snowboarder on the face of the planet. But he was still nervous.  
  
He knocked on Remus’ door and a second later if flew open. Remus was standing there with a big grin on his face. “Hi, love. Shouldn’t you be in your accommodations. You’ve qualifications tomorrow for slopestyle.”  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and stepped into the room, locking the door behind him. “I know, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to be with you.”  
  
Remus frowned. “Are you nervous?”  
  
“Of course I’m nervous. Last time I was in the bloody Olympics I had my dreams crushed only a minute after I started the qual.” Sirius sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
“Want me to plait your hair?”  
  
Sirius smiled at his boyfriend and nodded. He was so happy to have Remus back in his life, the way that he always should have been. Sirius knew that Remus was right when he said that they probably needed that time apart before. They had some growing up to do. But it still hurt a lot. There was always that empty feeling in his chest for over five years. He tried to move on but it was impossible. Remus was his soul mate, there wasn’t any way around that.  
  
Nothing ever felt right, without Remus in his life. Every competition he won, felt a little empty because he never got to hug Remus after and tell him it was for him and the other man tell Sirius that he was so proud of him. He went to bed alone, every night, thinking about it just didn’t feel right. But it didn’t matter anymore because Remus was there. They were going to work it out and be together because that’s how it was always meant to be.  
  
“Don’t be nervous. You’ll do great, I’m sure. Frank and Alice send their love and best wishes, by the way.”  
  
“I’m sad they couldn’t make it.” Sirius frowned.  
  
“Maybe we can go up to Sweden after this. See them and I can show you around my hometown.”  
  
“I’d like that.” Sirius said as Remus tied off the end of his plait with Sirius’ hair tie.  
  
“Do you want a cuddle? That always made you feel better before a big event.”  
  
“I was thinking of some other street relief.” Sirius turned around crashed their lips together.  
  
“After I just did you hair, you’re going to ruin it.”  
  
“I can think of at least one way I can still have you and not ruin my hair.” Sirius pushed Remus on his back and straddled him.  
  
“Anyway you want me, I’m all yours.”  
  
Sirius gave him a predatory grin before stripping his tee shirt off and tossing it aside.  
  
Three days later Sirius was standing on the starting line. It was his final run. He was the third to go. He had the best score of the first run with a 91.83 but that was already bested by the American and Norwegian. He took a deep breath and decided that he had to pull off his hardest trick he had, the Marauder. It was originally a skateboard trick but he modified it for the snow.  
  
Sirius couldn’t have told you how the trick had actually gone because he was pretty sure he black out from the adrenaline coursing through his body. Before he knew he was standing with the Norwegian and the American, awaiting the results. As it stood before the final run, he was going to walk away with a bronze. But there was hope, as long as he did’t fuck up with the trick but he wasn’t sure because he couldn’t barely remember. His body had gone into autopilot.  
  
While he waited for his score to go up, his eyes searched the crowd and found Remus, the Potters, the Lupin-Merchants, the Pettigrews, and the girls all there in the front row. They were waving Union Jacks and Remus had a little rainbow flag because why not risk arrest and spend the rest of their lives in a Russian jail?  
  
The crowd went crazy and Sirius realized that his score was announced. He looked to see the screen read ’97.75’. Sirius nearly fainted. He threw his helmet and board up before dashing over to his friends and family. He couldn’t be arsed to care about the proper way to go about things because he had just did what he always wanted to do. He was an Olympic champion.  
  
He ran over to the crowd, jumped the barrier and was soon engulfed by everyone who cared about him. When he got his hands on Remus he pulled him into the kiss because, fuck it. They already were promoting their gay agenda in Russia with the flag, why not just go all the way through? Sirius was probably going to start an international incident but he didn’t give a fuck because he was in love and he was a gold medalist. Sirius Black had everything that he ever wanted.  
  
“I’m so proud of you.” Remus said with tears in his eyes. “I love you so much.”  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
Two weeks later, Sirius wasn’t in jail and he didn’t start an international incident. But the media was all over him for the kiss, well kisses because Sirius kissed Remus with every medal. So that was three more times. He had got received two more gold medals in half pipe and giant slalom and silver in cross. Sirius won the most medals in one Olympics for any snowboarder. He was the most medaled snowboarder in the Olympics. Period. He was the best in the world. He was also the happiest man in the entire world.  
  
“I never thought I would be this happy, ever.” Sirius shook his head and pass the bottle of champagne to Remus. The Marauders were in Remus’ room after the cross medal ceremony.  
  
“I never thought I’d be the proud of anyone.” Remus said, passing the bottle off so he could put both his hands on Sirius’ face and kiss him.  
  
“I honestly never thought we would be here. I mean, no offense Sirius… but you know, people dream of doing this stuff when they’re teenagers but no one really thinks it’s going to happen.” James said. “That’s not to say that I’m not bloody ecstatic that you’re here and for what you’ve done.”  
  
“As much as I love you and Pete, Prongs, I’d like some alone time with Moony.”  
  
“Yes, I’m sure that you’ve a lot to get up to.” Peter shook his head. “We’ll let you get to it.”  
  
“Ha, get up.” James snorted as he stood up. “Have a good night, lads.” He winked and soon they were out the door.  
  
Sirius was too busy with his tongue in Remus’ mouth to notice the bad joke James and too bid him a good night. “I love you.” He said when he pulled back.  
  
“I love you too.” Remus carded his fingers through his hair.  
  
“I think that you’re my good luck charm. I only do this good when you’re around.”  
  
“You held up pretty well when I was out of your life.”  
  
“But it was never this good.” Sirius shook his head as his hands went up Remus’ shirt, trailing his fingers down his back.  
  
Life was good. Sirius couldn’t ask for anything else.  
  
After the Olympics, Sirius and Remus went to Sweden so Sirius could see with Remus came from. Remus took him to his old home and to his parents gave and to the spot where the accident happen. Sirius let him cry and held him when he needed it. They spent a week in Goteborg and then went to Stockholm for another week.  
  
When they went back to Manchester, Remus moved in with Sirius and started going to school at the University of Manchester to get his masters in history. Sirius stopped skateboarding on the pro level. He still went to some events whenever he was bored but he was happy to stay at home and take time off. That was mainly because he was with Remus. He got to help him study and cook for him when he forgot to eat because he was too busy with his nose in a book. Life was perfect.


	19. One Year And Some Odd Months Later…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius asks a question.

Sirius was the grand marshall in the Pride parade in Manchester. He brought Remus along and they dressed rainbows and purple. But it wasn’t the parade he had been excited for that day, he had Big Plans later. But he had to get Remus out of the madness that is Pride and back to Brackenwoods for a cook out with everyone.  
  
“Let’s go have some drinks.”  
  
“No, we’ve plans to be home now, love.” Sirius pouted, pulling on his hand so they could move down the street in the throng of people.  
  
“Why did we plan a barbecue on a day where we could be out here having fun?” Remus frowned as they turned the corner of the street to where Sirius’ motorbike was parked.  
  
“I didn’t plan it, Prongs did.”  
  
Remus didn’t complain anymore as they got on the bike then made their way to the Potter’s.  
  
The last year of Sirius’ life had been the best he had ever experienced. He was an Olympic gold medal winner (multiple ones!). He had his best friends around him. Regulus was his best mate. He became a spokesperson for the LGBTQA community. He was spending all of his free time with Remus. Their relationship was stronger than it had even been when they were teenagers. They really knew who they were now.  
  
When they got to the little party, they were greeted warmly by all of their friends and family. They ate great food and enjoyed one another’s company, as they always did. As the sun was going down, Sirius pulled Remus by the hand and took him to the edge of the garden to look at the sun. His heart was pounding a little too hard in his chest but he knew that he was doing the right thing.  
  
“This is nice. I’m glad we came instead of staying in the city tonight.” Remus smiled, taking Sirius’ hand as they looked out over the little slope to the lake in the distance.  
  
Sirius cleared his throat and fidgeted a little.  
  
“Are you okay, Pads? You’ve been acting a little strange today.” Remus looked at him with a furrowed brow.  
  
“You know how much I love you, right?”  
  
“…Yeah…” Remus looked nervous now.  
  
“And I know you love me a lot.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“And you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, right? I refuse to lose you again.”  
  
“Yes…”  
  
Sirius took a deep breath and went down to one knee. He wanted to do the whole cliche thing of asking Remus to marry him because it gave him the butterflies when he thought about it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring made of titanium with an celtic knot pattern around it.  
  
Remus let out a little gasp. “Sirius.”  
  
“I’m talking, let me do this.” Sirius held his hand tight and looked up at him. “Remus John Lupin, I love you with all of my heart promise to make you the happiest man on the face of the planet. Will you marry me?”  
  
“Yes, of course I will.” Remus pulled him up after Sirius slipped the ring on to his finger. “I love you.”   
  
Soon they were surrounded by his friends — no his family. He couldn’t have been happier and neither could Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. The next long chaptered fic I’m going to work on is going to be a take on the US show Married at First Sight (idk if there’s anything on like that in other countries??? if you don’t know what it is, look it up because it’s really interesting). AKA Remus and Sirius decided enter the reality show/social experiment and are matched up to be married. I’m also working on a short story challenge here, if you want to follow that. I’ll be posting a story every Friday (unless something happens). Also, you can follow me here on _[emeliadoyle](http://emeliadoyle.tumblr.com)_ on tumblr


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